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Take it from a mom who learned the hard way, your kid can have pretty wretched things tweeted about them and be totally unaware because they are not on twitter. I have come to believe it is better to be a ‘twitter lurker’, have an account but not post, so you can monitor what is being said about you and demand things be deleted. This is the route one of my kids has had to go.</p>
<p>Don’t use Twitter, don’t every plan to. My parents spoke to me about it and online searches for job applicants was an in-class debate topic. It convinced me. I use FB but really not that much and try to keep it general and very ‘G’ rated. Once it out it never gets back in.</p>
<p>I received a private message but can not respond due to not having enough posts. Thanks for sending that info to me.</p>
<p>why would she have a problem if you followed her on twitter or facebook? I think it’s a valuable lesson that kids need to learn. My niece was the chief of staff at Harvard and shared with my daughter that the admissions directors quite often view facebook accounts and twitter accounts of applicants for the school as well as for employment. I dont think kids realize how permanent and NOT private the internet is. I think they feel that once it’s typed, only friends will see it and it’s gone. It can be an excercise in discretion to not tweet her every location (bad habit to get into as well as potential safety issue) and reporting her every thought. Privating her tweets to friends only would make her tweets readable by the people she wants to be reading them and would hide them from future searches.</p>
<p>I just feel ‘guilty’ stalking them and knowing their thoughts and what they are doing when I don’t follow them directly. People have raised many valid points that they need to know how easy it is for just about everyone to know where they are and what they are doing.</p>
<p>As someone young and an active Tweeter, I would just recommend you maybe suggest she lock down her Facebook and Twitter, although I suspect you wouldn’t like it because then you can’t ‘stalk’ her. In the days before social media, parents had no clue what their kids were doing at school. If she’s making good grades and not getting into any trouble, don’t helicopter so much. Kids will be kids, let them learn about themselves…even it means they develop different values than you.</p>
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Here’s the entire point. It’s not helicoptering. It’s absolutely public. When you look at a celebrities public twitter page is that helicoptering? Do you feel awkward or bad looking at their private information, or do you assume that if they didn’t want people looking at it they’d lock it.</p>
<p>What she’d like to tell her daughter, and is thinking of the best way to approach it is “What you do at college is your private business, not mine or anyone else’s. The way you keep that privacy and ultimate right to ensure you are the one who decides who you tell your private things to is to lock down your twitter and fb. Otherwise I can see it, people considering you for a job can see it, etc.”. </p>
<p>What you (young adults) don’t always understand is that we (parents) don’t always want full disclosure of what you’re doing at college, and certainly not via twitter & fb. Some of us would actually prefer our kids exercise some discretion on social media so their exploits aren’t broadcast across cyberspace. Don’t assume the OP would miss anything.</p>
<p>Great points, blueiguana. I would have absolutely no problem asking my kids about something they posted on the internet for all the world to see. I wouldn’t feel as if I’d stalked them, either. What could make the point more concretely that they should set their privacy settings to friends and followers only?</p>
<p>If your kids don’t want you to see something they shouldn’t post it on the internet.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s about what kids don’t want parents to see. It’s more of a cultural thing that is like the generational divide when tv was invented! And while I do like some things about twitter - following the debate while reading twitter? Hysterical AND insightful. It becomes habit to think of life in hashtags. But other things…like an individual with a “need to put it all out there,” should be encouraged to do some self-reflection as to why that is or what is behind that. </p>
<p>MOST, if not all, of D’s and S’s classmates with twitter accts are privacy protected. And too, if it’s true you could search by hashtag or whatever, it’s still a needle in a haystack that a reverse search by hashtag would bear much low hanging fruit.</p>
<p>Also, I don’t agree that a kid over-sharing in a public way is the same thing or even comparable to celebrity tweets (who very often have professional tweeters doing their twittering for them!). It’s attaching a lot of self-importance to yourself to think anyone SHOULD care, not that they might wrongly (and superficially) do. There is a lack of maturity here as well because if a kid doesn’t know there are different social rules for hollywood vs the normal 18-25 year old, they really are delusional. And anyone who thinks if Lindsay Lohan can do it, so can I… well… I am not so sure they should even have a cell phone and computer let alone a twitter account! 
And to be clear - it is absolutely a form of helicopter parenting. You don’t have a vested interest in Carson Daily. To say otherwise is to not really be honest with yourself.</p>
<p>I just think in MOST cases, it’s more about naivet</p>
<p>I think college kids are in that ‘its all about me’ age that they feel they have to brag on twitter about what they are doing. So many tweet ‘exciting’ things that they are doing when they are actually sitting on the couch painting their toe nails. I think the news from today about Facebook breeds envy is very true. Watching what others are supposedly doing online may make one feel like they are not ‘living the good life’ like their peers are. Twitter is very much the same thing, just more for the moment. Facebook seems to be fading somewhat and hopefully twitter will too. Here is the FB article: [Facebook</a> Study Says Envy Is Rampant On The Social Network](<a href=“Facebook Study Says Envy Is Rampant On The Social Network | HuffPost Impact”>Facebook Study Says Envy Is Rampant On The Social Network | HuffPost Impact)</p>
<p>According to this, kids are turning off FB and turning on Instagram:</p>
<p>[Teens</a> say they avoid Facebook, logos on clothing - PRWeek US](<a href=“http://www.prweekus.com/teens-say-they-avoid-facebook-logos-on-clothing/article/276560/]Teens”>http://www.prweekus.com/teens-say-they-avoid-facebook-logos-on-clothing/article/276560/)</p>
<p>That is a good point about instagram. You can put pics on Instagram that can only be seen there or you can link pics on Twitter to Instagram. You can not have an instagram ID via a traditional PC i.e. you can only get an ID if you have an iphone or android. This is one way for kids to keep parents who may not have a smart phone from seeing their pics. However, you can view pics in instagram from a traditional PC, you just can’t have an ID of your own. I wonder what the next new social network platform may be. Snap chat is another dangerous app that kids use. They think the pics disappear from their smart phones after 5 seconds, but there is a way to save them that could lead to private pictures being saved by the receiver.</p>