Perhaps minimizing the car money means he can afford more for kids’ college.
Anyway, his money, his choice. The only thing would be to suggest that he checks cost carefully, so that he does not promise more than he can actually contribute.
Do you know the financial situation well? I mean, it sounds like they may have lived frugally and really loaded up the college savings!
I like the suggestion of mentioning the NPCs, and maybe offering other sources of info, if he is interested.
Money can be such a secretive, uncomfortable topic. I’d hesitate to make any assumptions.
Maybe he & his family have fully funded an educational account because he’s been so frugal all these years. Maybe he is being helped out by the Bank of Inheritance or the Bank of Grandparents. Who knows.
It would be weird and awkward to share that kind of info with a coworker, even a long time coworker. It might invite ugly feelings.
@bopper, that’s precisely how DH & I were able to send our kids to OOS schools. We’ve never come close to paying $20K for a car… and our “new” one is 11 years old. We’re also cheap with appliances. When the kids were little/teens our only indulgence was travel.
Maybe dad wants son as far away as possible.
@bopper, I buy fairly inexpensive used cars, partly so I can pay for the education we think is best for our kids. It isn’t your business. Just because you wouldn’t do it doesn’t make it wrong for that family.
Do you know his financial situation? Any college savings? Any inheritance?
Either way, you can gently let him know a few things:
- Calif publics don’t give any OOS aid. He may not be aware of that. He may be thinking, “my kid is a great student, so the UC will give him a nice merit scholarship.”
2). He may not have any idea how expensive OOS UCs are. I still remember my neighbor practically falling into the bushes when he found out that just room and board expenses can be $15k-17k per year…aside from OOS tuition and other costs.
3). Have him run the NPC if he’s expecting some aid. If he’s happy to pay full price ($55k per year for a UC), then he won’t be applying for aid anyway.
Agree that the car one drives is not necessarily indicative of financial position. We choose to hold on to our cars for years (and years) in part so we can pay for our kids private colleges. Our “station car” is almost 20 years old! That is a trade-off we are willing to make. I would not appreciate any friends/relatives etc. making college suggestions or assumptions as to our financial position based on our cars…
I know people with $5-10 million in the bank that drive $8,000 5-15 year old cars.
If you’re not paying, then it’s not your business. Period.
Even sometimes the brightest and most knowledgeable (financial aid) parents don’t take their own advice. A good friend who is a high school guidance counselor allowed her D to go to an okay oos flagship for a psychology degree. Her D has the full student loans available ($27K) and her parents took another $20K in parent plus which they have now handed over to her, less the $10K they paid over the four years…so $47K in loans for an OOS public school for a psych degree…her D is working for $13/hour in a non-career job, living at home. I agree, not your business, but boy it sure is hard to watch.
I agree with other posters that this is probably not the OP’s business.
One way to explore these issues would be for the friend (or the student) to visit College Confidential directly. Here, we get to tell other parents what to do with their money and their kids all the time.
I would not comment on my friend’s investment on his son’s education. We all have our priority in life. I can save up 300K by sending my son to a local university but I chose to send him to US to get a good education plus a whole new experience.
I agree that it’s not the OP’s “business,” but if the friend says anything that just isn’t right, like, “we’re expecting aid from a UC” or “after a year living there, our son will get instate rates,” then the OP should speak up. It’s not wise for the OP to say things out of the blue, but if there is an appropriate opening…
I’ve had friends who were on the verge of making a naive pricey error, and I gave them the 411, and they were grateful. What kind of friends would we be if we were certain a dear friend was about to fall off a cliff and we said nothing?
The OP just has to be careful because this family may have the funds set aside for college, and big loans or painful tuition payments won’t be their situation.
Making sure he understands the costs (using the NPC, for example), doesn’t make bad assumptions (he’ll get lots of FA) etc is one thing. Calling it a “bad investment” is another. We all have different priorities and our ability to pay not always be obvious to others. I agree with the others…tread lightly…
[QUOTE=""]
So the son has been talking to his dad about UC Santa Barbara as that would make it easier for Silicon Valley internships. <<<
[/QUOTE]
And what does the dad say about that? I’ve known students from all over get internships in SV. But, either way, if this kid’s stats are high enough, he could get merit to - say - Santa Clara - and the net cost could be less than OOS UC.
<<<
I have been trying to tell him that paying full price for an out of state State school is not a good investment.
He could pay half the price by going to NJ or NY state schools full price.
<<<
And what has been his response? Has he indicated that paying $55k per year for an OOS UC is not an issue? Or is he like many parents of rising juniors that really aren’t yet zeroed-in on cost…particularly since the words, “we provide millions of dollars in financial aid,” get thrown around a lot.
My good friend and old college roommate paid full freight to send two girls to UCB and UCSB. from Oregon. He never complained about the cost or the ROI. They also had better outcomes than the son that went to Oregon. He could afford it but nor easily. .
Not your hunt. The family will likely be full pay at UCSB…at over $50,000 a year. Maybe the cost doesn’t matter to them.
It’s their decision.
I’m sure there were people who wanted to talk us out of sending our kids to expensive private universities…because out instate public would have been ok and less costly. I can tell you…they would have been wasting their time…we knew the budget…and we knew the costs…and our family had made our college budget decisions.
We would have been less than thrilled by even a good friend giving us their opinion.
I have no skin in this game, but am curious as to when UCSB became a ‘feeder’ school
for CS and the Silicon Valley…?
If a student is interested in proximity for internships, SB is a solid 3-4 hour drive.
If it’s for summer internships, than many other schools (including UCSC & UCD) would provide better access.
If it’s for the beach, well then that’s another story altogether.
My experience is that UCSB is much more oriented to the LA-area when it comes to jobs and internships.
Landing an internship may require a few long flights and hotel stays, but those are always at the employer’s expense if it’s a job interview for a regular paying job. If they’re for an internship, they’re a lot cheaper than paying out-of-state tuition for a California school.