We live in NJ and a local friend of mine’s son will be a Junior and is starting the college process.
His son likes computers and IT and is taking CS themed courses in his public HS.
He has dreams of working in Silicon Valley.
He is a pretty good student (now that he is taking meds for his ADD) but will only reach pre-calc as a Senior.
So the son has been talking to his dad about UC Santa Barbara as that would make it easier for Silicon Valley internships.
I have been trying to tell him that paying full price for an out of state State school is not a good investment.
He could pay half the price by going to NJ or NY state schools full price.
Encourage the dad to run the Net Price Calculators at the websites of all the places currently on his and his kid’s lists. Encourage the dad to work through his own strategies for paying the projected costs for all four years (remind him that costs are likely to go up 5% to 7% each year). Encourage the dad to look up the Common Data Set for each place, and to get real about the kid’s chances of admission. Remind the dad about the evils of debt in general, and the evils of private educational debt in particular.
Frankly I don’t think you should. Everyone looks for different things in their college choice. You can point out facts, but don’t impose your conclusions (‘not a good investment’). UCSB is a terrific school and very strong in STEM. It maybe a perfect fit for this kid, and perhaps the family can afford it comfortably. I’d be more worried about the kid not having taken Calc before graduation.
Maybe the dad can afford it and doesn’t care. Maybe the kid really wants to go to CA to school. Why is this a problem? ( unless the kid is loaded with debt after graduating)
I wouldn’t want other parents telling me I shouldn’t be sending my kids to certain schools. That’s their own decision. Wish them luck.
Also introduce them to CalPoly and RIT. Likely a little cheaper, if not as cheap as in-state (RIT gives lots of merit money) and their grads seem to place well.
If he is wealthy and is willing to pay (without parent loans or parent-cosigned student loans), then it is his choice to offer out-of-state college funding to his kid.
But he should check the net price calculators first before making any college funding promises to his kid.
I’d suggest running the NPC for every college on his son’s list. .But I would not say anything about whether or not a particular college is a good investment. Especially if I don’t know the family financial situation. (and I don’t know the financial situation of anyone beyond myself)
It isn’t your choice, it isn’t your business. Other than mentioning that he should run the NPC to be sure it is affordable or something along those lines stay out of it.
^Yes. Not your child, not your finances, not your business. College and financial fit are very personal. Unless your friend has asked for your help and/or you have expertise in tech and the Silicon Valley job market/college placement, just listen and be supportive.
It’s like beating your head up against a wall. People don’t want to know most times. Sometimes you can “hook” people in by saying something like “that’s AWESOME…X is a great school! Sounds like you guys have run your EFC and the NPC( (I specifically use the abbreviations lol) and you are good to go! Exciting times!”
More often than not I get a blank stare and then if they were listening a little bit they will bite and say “EFC…what is that?” And then it opens up a discussion. Most of the parents of rising juniors have NO idea what those initials even stand for and they want to learn. Otherwise, it’s best to keep your mouth shut because you will only sound annoying.
Not everyone looks at education in purely investment terms. Some of us think it’s an exciting and important growth opportunity to allow our children to go to college in a very different part of the country. Yes, it’s pricier than staying instate. But broadening your horizons, getting out of your comfort zone, meeting dramatically different kind of people - that’s been priceless. There is no doubt my daughter is a more worldly, savvy and better informed person for having done it.
College talk is very personal. My close friend just went through this with her very smart son and other than reminding her to have financial and academic safeties, I stayed quiet unless she asked. The only reason why I told her to have financial safeties is because she shared her finances with me and we had financial aid discussions- but she asked- I did not volunteer.
It’s also subjective, meaning there is no unequivocal right and wrong. People have different motivations, priorities, and risk tolerance.
He’s your friend, so it’s appropriate to (gently, appropriately) let him know your view if he asks. But you do not need to “convince” him; that’s not your role, and good friends don’t place those kinds of demands on their friends.
As everyone else said, aside from suggesting that he makes sure he’s informed about the true costs of things and telling him how to find out if he doesn’t know, it’s none of your business. Many of us consider the cost of a private or OOS school well worth it for any number of reasons.
I am in agreement with all of the above that beyond the useful pointing out of the cost factor, of which your friend may or may not have been aware, there is ZERO you should say or do. If he was unaware, he now is making an economically informed decision, and everything else (school quality, distance, etc.) is subjective and up to them. The cost difference is not subjective, but his judgement on the value contained in that difference entirely is. If he doesn’t ask for an opinion, then yours is surely not welcome.
Maybe you could suggest additional schools in CA for your friend’s son to consider. He’s gonna need matches and safeties. UCSB is competitive. CS more so.
Suggest he look into Santa Clara University and San Jose State. Neither is a safety but they may (may) be less competitive than UCSB or Cal Poly.
He’s a pretty good friend…we have worked together for 20+ years.
The funny thing is that he will buy the cheapest car, for example, and keep it until it completely falls apart.