<p>My daughter who is a high anxiety type- has an assignment for health to recognize stressors and what she can do to cope with them.
I noticed that she was much better at identifying what causes stress
school-sports-chores-family-friends* pretty much everything but the dog.
than she was at thinking of ways to look at it differently and lessen the stress. ( she isn’t really a nervous nellie type- to look at her- you wouldn’t realize she is as anxious as she is- but she holds everything inside)</p>
<p>I think there are general things she could do to lessen stress
eat better- get more rest-have clear goals and acknowledge when you meet goals rather than just moving to the next goal*</p>
<p>but of course I am her mom- and anything that comes out of my mouth is suspect- which is interesting, because one of the things I do- to relieve stress is go to the gym- and she has been amazingly supportive of that- giving me lots of positive reinforcement.</p>
<p>Id like to put together some ideas for her- I realize that many are going to be specific to your situation- but I bet I can get some useful stuff out of it anyway
and since she is just 16- lets leave the 15 yr old scotch for sinners alley *</p>
<p>This may sound a little “off the wall” but something from Buddhism (and a little Christianity) is to get outside yourself and the best way to do that is to do something to help someone else. In other words, actively work to help someone else with their problem(s). For a teen this might be tutoring, babysitting for an overstressed mom, working on a habitat for humanity house. Once in college my sorority paired w/a frat to give a Christmas party for handicapped kids. We did it the week before exams. After I left that party I was more relaxed than I’d been in weeks. I still (obviously) remember it today.</p>
<p>At my kids elementary school I tutored dyslexic kids and that helped. After the hurricane I did laundry for the Red Cross volunteers who were staying at our church. Helping others always helps you.</p>
<p>Exercise releases endorphins and they’re good too.</p>
<p>thats a great idea mercymom-
She used to have a volunteer job- but it ended- and she is interested in doing some more-
Its more like a job that she just doesn’t get paid for though- she has mentioned coaching a younger girls soccer team with afriend- I think I will encourage her to do something more like that- or at least think about it</p>
<p>She is on two sports teams right now( swimming for school and rec league soccer) and while it is fun for her- I think it is also stressful competing- swimming is almost over though-
BUt in general I think swimming is really relaxing & I am going to encourage her to continue once the season is over- she is also planning on going to Australia in the summer- so that could be a motivator to get even better at it. ( and it would make mom feel better)</p>
<p>I second exercise and breathing exercises as proven ways to de-stress. One CD that’s highly recommended by various psychologists for breathing exercises is Andrew Weil’s Breathing - The Master Key to Self Healing:</p>
<p>thanks susan-she also has asthma ( as do I ) and since I have been going to the gym- it hasn’t bothered me as much- breathing does make a huge difference in stress level- thanks for reminding me</p>
<p>She is too young to go unfortunately- ( you have to be 18)
but she might listen to a cd-
it reminds me of when I bought her sister “relaxing” tapes when she was young to help her go to sleep
( She was about 4) I remember once when her dad and I were arguing, she put a tape in her fisherprice tape recorder, and set it by our feet.
so cute</p>
<p>I was just flagged yesterday for high blood pressure at Student Health and they said I need to work on my stress relief techniques. Like EKs daughter, I know what causes my stress, but don’t know how to handle it (except exercise and maybe a slight change in diet, the latter of which is harder for a grad student).</p>
<p>don’t know if this would work for the OP’s D,but for ophiolite…D took up yoga in college as an undergrad…was offered at the student rec center for a slight additional charge.Great for destressing,very calming,non competitive.Shes now in grad school and still attends,now a private studio.Swears by it, and has turned her father (my H) into a convert.</p>
<p>besides all the advice suggested, I think another important thing is to remind yourself that it is common and ok to feel stressed, in fact, almost every does…don’t make a big deal out of that like me…I was quite stressed a few days a ago, because I got SAT TWO,three subject tests and ED essays and my school prelim exams, and I got totally freaked out by all of them, and started to get very anxious and easily irritated…thankfully, my parents and my friends, and most importantly, I pulled myself out of it.</p>
<p>yoga is also another great suggestion
Her schools health clinic has had at times yoga classes after school- I think that will be a great combination with the breathing exercises</p>
<p>I hear what you are saying cissim- but this unfortunately is much more than just sporadic stress from testing- she has a more generalized condition that she takes medication for, but since the medication is quite addictive, she only takes a very small dose.( which probably isn’t enough to help her- but if a new alternative starts working so well she doesn’t need meds- then it will be much easier to stop taking them… I hope)</p>
<p>Aside from the other excellent suggestions (esp. reaching out to help others and exercise) already mentioned: Some other thoughts: going to a hypnotist to learn relaxation techniques, prayer, positive mantras, painting, writing and/or sketching in a journal (maybe one that’s made of something textural, with thick paper and write with a fountain pen for some tactile sensation), pulling together quotes about self-worth and being “enough” (Toni Morrison has some good ones, among other great writers) to be pulled out and examined whenever anxiety strikes, finding relaxation rituals, such as having a cup of tea (hey, it helped the London ladies during the Blitz), DVDs with peaceful forest scenes or fireplaces (do they have these? Remember those videos?). It’s a matter of trying different things and then cobbling together what works.</p>
<p>Knitting.
I’m not kidding: I learned to knit last winter and think it’s the most relaxing activity I’ve ever done. And I am not an artsy person at all, in fact I’m downright poor at craftsy things. But knitting took me by surprise: it’s like yoga, but you get a little scarf with it. I’m not sure it would appeal to your D, but I highly recommend it for anyone lookig for a de-stresser.</p>
<p>If this were my child the best I thing I think I could do is to try to help them figure it out … we’re all totally unique and we’re suggesting things that worked for us or for someone we know; none of whom are your daughter. How would I try to help her figure it out? I’d try someone like this … Let’s talk about some situations where you’ve felt calmer or better yet have clamed you down (and I can not in any way judge her list of when she felt calm although I might check on some other instances I thought were good examples) … then let’s see if we can find out why YOU found them calming … who you were with? who was NOT there? was the situation competitive or not? was it in a particular field or not? were you alonen or not? etc. Try to find the attirbutes in these situations and see if you can get her there more often.</p>
<p>Her sister has taken up knitting- in college- she taught herself & then she taught the whole campus.
I didn’t see how you could knit and study-but she managed it somehow
An article about making Gryffondor scarves for a movie release even made a national knitting magazine</p>
<p>Thats another great idea-
( and I just saw how much knitted scarves are in the stores- more inspiration)</p>
*</p>