<p>Quite a few of my friends from my high school came with me college, and though it’s nice because I can ask friends I already know if we can hang out or help each other on homework, sometimes I feel so alienated from them, as if suddenly we’re not as close as I thought we were.</p>
<p>Take my group of friends I always hanged out in high school with for example. We used to do a lot of things together, from study sessions to shopping, but as things gradually got hectic in high school, I noticed that I felt more like a black sheep around my friends than anything else. Gradually, I would find out that they did/plan something without inviting me, only for them to say something like “oh we forgot”, “you never asked us,” or maybe with no explanation whatsoever! Just a shrug and “well, we can hang out again next time.” Or sometimes there would be moments where everyone else but me would just click together on an idea and understand something but I wouldn’t.
It’s frustrating because often whenever I’m in a decently sized group with friends, I’m ALWAYS feeling left out. I know everyone isn’t doing it intentionally, but it’s like they care about everyone else except me. The frustrating thing is some of them aren’t even trying to meet new people! They keep hiding in their dorms all day (“I’m too scared to meet the scary people on our floor”), and the rare change they go out with their friends to an outing, they never try to invite me.</p>
<p>Good thing is that I have been finding new college friends to hang out with, and I’m happier with them because I never have to worry about feeling like the black sheep of the group, but I really would like to try to keep some of my high school friends with me. Is there anything I could do to at least still be close to my high school friends and college buddies? Or should I just not expect my relationship to get any closer with the high school buddies and keep hanging with the college friends?</p>
<p>I think this is a somewhat natural thing, lots of people drift away from their high school friends once they go to college, even if they go to college with them. </p>
<p>But it does sound like they aren’t interested in maintaining their friendships with you. I would continue to be friendly and try to make things work, but I’d put more of your energy into your relationships with the people you’ve met in college and just focus on that. If it works out with your HS friends, great, but if not, you just have to accept it and move along.</p>
<p>It’s natural. Everyone’s in a new environment, and suddenly people are starting to develop who they actually are, and starting to live their own lives. College is a bit overwhelming, and they’re starting to meet new people. Try to get out and make friends outside of your old high school group. Try to keep in touch with them, but don’t assume that your relationship will be the same, because it won’t.</p>
<p>Its definitely natural to drift away a little from your high school friends. You’ve gotta work to keep the friendship together, however it doesn’t sound slike they’re willing to do their share of the work. And from the way you describe them it sounds like they’ve always been like this. Be polite and try to hang with them, but don’t put all of your energy into it.</p>
<p>People will change pretty dramatically throughout young adulthood. You may find that your old friends are becoming completely different people. There’s nothing wrong with making new friends, and while it does hurt to lose old ones, sometimes it’s for the better. </p>
<p>Your old friends left you feeling down. Your new friends are not. I’d suggest to focus on your new, more positive relationships in order to enjoy what college life has to offer. You don’t have to turn against your old friends, but if close friendship doesn’t seem possible anymore, then you’ll need to move on.</p>