<p>I’m a person who is going to be a Computer Science major</p>
<p>This summer I started learning about Unix, and began to learn something about Java too
I downloaded Java Developers Kit and Notepad++ and used it a bit by following tutorials, and when my dad saw the programs he flipped out at me because he is paranoid about anything downloaded, and he deleted them !
He forbade me to download things and said I should also never download any programming things onto my laptop because it’s “his money” and doesn’t want me to break it, he says. (because apparently anything to do with programming will break it -_-) And my dad is a computer systems engineer too…
Isn’t this way too overboard?</p>
<p>My parents treat me like a child and I feel like they’re restricting me on purpose… almost harming progress I make at enriching myself. They treat me like I’m naive and would never be able to survive without them, and tell me this everyday…They always treat me as somebody who doesn’t know anything even if I have researched it thoroughly and could tell them all the facts and logic
It’s harming my growth, not to mention self esteem (when someone tells you something over and over, you feel like you become it)</p>
<p>What to do? Anybody experienced a similar situation?</p>
Yeah, you’re dad is crazy- never download things? Yeah right!!! How are you supposed to get certain files that can only come by downloading???</p>
<p>
Download things when you’re dad won’t find out…is it your computer only, so that you could set a password to get into it and he wouldn’t see what you download? When you’re at college, you’re dad won’t be there to see what you download, so it will be better soon, right? Don’t know…I have overboard/overbearing parents too…for example, my mom would probably flip if she found out how much I’m on CC…she hates those kinds of things, she doesn’t even know I’m on here, cause internet forums like this are ‘bad’ or whatever…</p>
<p>Glad to know your not a parakeet who is going to be a computer science major…</p>
<p>Unfortunately since you still live with your parents, it’s their house and their rules. Meaning they are “right”. In this case I’d just suck it up. Some battles aren’t worth fighting, and this is one of them. (They might decided to restrict access to your PC)
But what you could do is buy a laptop for yourself. (I’m assuming your parents bought the one you have)
Afterwards they would have no say in what you did on it.</p>
<p>Anecdotal evidence, but I often ran into a similar issue regard the amount of time I’d spend on the PC, my siblings would complain and I’d get kicked off. After awhile I got a job, bought my own PC. End of story.</p>
Depending on what kind of laptop you want/need for college. A cheap PC, yeah sure a kid can probably save that money. But a nice Mac, depends it you have a job. I think most parents just buy their kids laptops, especially when you’re going to college, and even though they bought it, it’s still ‘yours,’ at least that’s kinda how we see it. My parents bought my Mac, but it’s still ‘mine’ because it’s for college. I’m the only one that uses it (well my parents actually don’t know how to use Mac…), I can take it whereever, whenever I want…that they let me do even though they bought it. Idk, I guess they trust me with my laptop cause I know how to take care of it and I didn’t break my old one- it just got old and slow.</p>
<p>Oh, idk what a CS major would use. I was just saying in general…don’t know anything about CS majors. Is that why you were only talking about PCs?</p>
<p>Honestly, anyone is perfectly capable of getting a job and saving up for whatever computer they want. I could have afforded a MacBook after a couple months working 15 hours/week at my college, not including the private music lessons I gave a few times each week.</p>
<p>Is there any class that you could take locally or online to further your CS studies that would require you to down load these programs? How about if you were self studying for the CS AP exam. Would that convince your dad to let you put the program you need on your computer? I know from my son that you can not just go out and buy those program, you have to get them online. CTY/EPGY has an online CS program you could look into.</p>
<p>Bro, sit down with your parents and just talk to them and tell them how you feel. My dad and mother both flipped out when I told them I had a girlfriend back when I was in high school, and they would actually her too and told her to stop calling me to hang out every day (embarrassing, I know). Well eventually, my dad came around and doesn’t really care that I have sex with random girls anymore (but he still doesn’t tell my mother because she couldn’t handle the news). </p>
<p>But yeah, my parents baby the crap out of me and I hate it sometimes.They think I’m always drinking or smoking weed whenever I’m out with my friends, but that couldn’t be further from the truth because I hate alcohol and doing drugs and will never try them.</p>
<p>And to the guys talking about the CS thing, it’s not even about that. The point is that his parents are too overbearing and don’t even trust OP.</p>
<p>Yep, that looks like that’s what i’ll have to do pretty much (download everything in secret). It seems like I’m like I’m always doing this…doing normal & everyday things that don’t even need consulting with them, and then when I get “caught” I get reprimanded because they think I’m still 12 years old or something. They don’t like me to do a thing on my own Perhaps because they don’t want me to leave them and become independent? Or perhaps they feel I should be growing according to a different rate set by them?
I just think I need to become more clever at hiding normal things from them haha</p>
<p>I can’t really buy my own computer now, they just bought me that laptop (for the purpose of college) that I mentioned, it’s new. </p>
<p>Do you think a Sony Vaio E Series is okay for CS ?</p>
<p>I think you and your father need to sit down and do some negotiating. Each of you could bring your top three requests to the table. For example, “Dad [Father, Papa], I’d like to be able to give you a list once a week of programming tools I would like to install on my computer, with some evidence of the usefulness and safety of each of my items.”</p>
<p>Make sure you also do lots of listening, and show him you’re hearing his point of view. For example, “Dad, you feel responsible for me and my computer, and want to make sure I’m protecting your investment.”</p>
<p>Also, it might help if before you sit down to talk, you do some unsolicited house and/or yard work. (Don’t make a big thing of it.)</p>
<p>If you’re still stuck… you might try to find someone experienced with mediating.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>P.S. I’m a parent of a teen and I love notepad++.</p>
<p>The best thing my child ever said to me: “Thank you for teaching me to read.”</p>
<p>What I hope to hear someday from my child: “Is there anything I can do to help?”</p>
Perhaps because they don’t want me to leave them and become independent? Or perhaps they feel I should be growing according to a different rate set by them?