<p>My mom knows nothing of the college admissions process except having good SAT scores and grades. My sister applied to college this year and didn’t get into Harvard which was no surprise at all to me. Now my mom thinks that I will never get into college because my sister is so much smarter than me. Every time I get a B on a test she freaks out and tells me that I will never be valedictorian becuase I don’t study, which is not the case at all. To her thats my only chance at getting into a college. She is also trying to make me commit application suicide by quiting all my ECs. I barely have any already and I know most colleges look for strong ECs. I’ve tried to explain this to her but nothing I say seems to get through. From a parent’s point of view what is the best way to make her realize that it would kill my chances at many schools if I quit my ECs? (Also I probably will get Valedictorian even if I keep them)</p>
<p>Have her read “The Gatekeepers”–by Jacques Steinberg. He does a great job of showing what it’s like to be an adcom at a selective LAC and what it takes to get admitted to such schools. After I read it, it hit me for the first time that LOTS more than good grades and test scores are required to get into those kinds of colleges.</p>
<p>Plus, it is an exciting read.</p>
<p>Also, Harvard Schmarvard-fun book…what grade are you in? Has she gone to any college nights at your school? Does she know that kids with not the top SAT scores and grades (okay they are high but not always the top) get into the IVYS…that there are hundreds of great schools…and tell her that most schools don’t look at only scores…a applicant with lower grades and scores but who does stuff will get in over a pure number person. If you drop the EC, it will do much more harm than getting a B once in a while. Colleges are looking for diversity, not just bookworms. Hold strong. Did your sister get into any other schools? Did she have matches and safeties, because Harvard is a reach for EVERYONE. Perhaps once your sister succeeds in college whereever she goes, the pressure will ease up. If she only applied to reaches, then she wasn’t so smart after all.</p>
<p>After visiting colleges over spring break, we were told over and over ECs are important. Also, tell her that if you only study, you will not be well rounded, and that is what most schools are looking for. They want committment to something. They like to see more than just one year in an EC. If you stop know, it will look bad. It will look like you can’t handle school and Ecs. A B will not stop you from getting into college. You will get in somewhere that you like. From all that I have read, admin people look for COMMITMENT. They like people that suddenly do something as a junior or senior because it looks good. Or people that try a little of everything. But they want someone who has a passion and follows it. They look for leadership and that takes time. Find articles you can about this and give them to her. Talk to your counselor and report back. Also tell her that colleges want kids that can bring different things to the campus- art, music, volunteering, sports, service. People that just sit in their room and study do not add to the college life. This is all you need to share. Ask your counselor for some research or such you can share with your mother.</p>
<p>Good Luck!!</p>
<p>Thank Mom for her concern about you. Give her some good college guide books, and ask her to read them so she can offer you even more help.</p>
<p>I second the suggestion to pick up Harvard Schmarvard. I’d also recommend Colleges That Change Lives and Beyond the Ivy League – both by Loren Pope – though Mr. Pope’s style can get old fast.</p>
<p>citygirlsmom my sister did apply to a range of schools and she got into every one except Harvard. She will be going to UVA which is a really good school too. I’m a junior now so I’ve been narrowing down my college choices and will start filling out applications over the summer.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone. I’ll try to get her to read a few of those books. My school isn’t exactly the best place to turn to. We never have college nights and the couslor can barely meet application deadlines let alone be bothered by silly questions (although this isn’t silly). I think I might also get my dad to explain stuff to her too.</p>
<p>Since your sis did get into so many great schools, but just not Harvard, it sounds like your mom has some pretty rigid standards. Was she happy for your sis for her successes? Hopefully she did.</p>
<p>I think you will do fine, keep doing the EC however you can because it is good for you, especially if your grades stay strong.</p>
<p>Good luck…ps-don’t show her this website, it sets up even more paronia for us parents!!!</p>
<p>She was happy for my sister but for some reason she has got it in her head that I won’t get into a good college. I’m still trying to get that figured out.</p>
<p>Don’t worry about me telling her about this site. That wont’ happen. She doesn’t really like to use the computer.</p>
<p>Just keep doing well, and the best thing you can do is prove her wrong!!!</p>
<p>As long as your grades are good and your SAT scores will be high, keep your EC’s. My D has high grades but not so great test scores. Those SAT scores are what qualify you for scholarship/grant money no matter what school you go to, and it doesn’t have to Harvard. My D if she could do it all over again, would do less EC’s and have spent more time studying those SAT test prep books.</p>