<p>Does anyone have any good, legal ideas of how to ditch a roommate who has invited themselves to come with you on halloween when you did not invite them and made it perfectly clear you were going out with friends and NOT them? Also consider the fact that aforementioned friends will be meeting at our room so we can all leave together so she will know when we are going.</p>
<p>Murder is illegal so I need some other ideas.</p>
<p>Have you considered being blunt and telling her straight up you don’t want her to tag along with you and your friends?</p>
<p>If I had more details I could probably fabricate a pretty fool proof lie for ya.</p>
<p>I actually had to check the forum and make sure this wasn’t the high school thread.</p>
<p>Why don’t you leave high school behind and ‘let’ the roommate come - much less energy than fabricating lies and contemplating murder - and maybe you will build some good karma over an act of tolerance - just a thought.</p>
<p>I really, really, really CANNOT STAND those types of people who beat around the bush, “drop hints”, and expect people to read their minds and subtle little messages, then talk trash behind the person’s back if he/she doesn’t magically understand what they are trying to say. It gets under my skin so badly.</p>
<p>Just be blunt. Kind, but still, direct. Say something like “Hey, I like you and all, but I actually haven’t hung out with these friends in a while and so I want to have some special time just for our group” or whatever the case may be. You might feel like you’re being mean, but it’s far meaner than the scenario I described above, in my opinion.</p>
<p>But, only do this if she will be able to make other plans by Halloween. Otherwise, just let her go, seriously. As the previous poster said, this isn’t high school anymore.</p>
<p>Edited to add in an extra afterthought…why did she end up “inviting herself” in the first place? When she asked if she could come, you could have been kindly honest in the first place, thus preventing the situation you’re in now, instead of saying yes when you really don’t want her there.</p>
<p>Or you could act like an adult and be honest with her, and be prepared to expect that she’ll likely be upset.</p>
<p>However, I don’t see why you can’t just allow her to tag along. It sounds like she just wants a friend.</p>
<p>Agreed – considering that Halloween is very close now and it may be difficult for her to make other plans, the most mature and considerate thing to do is let her go, since if you wanted to drop her you shoul have done it sooner.</p>
<p>But, only let her come if you are going to actually introduce her to your friends, get to know her, and regard her with an attitude of genuine respect…basically, treat her like a friend and try to get to know her. As Plattsbourgh said, she could probably use one. </p>
<p>If all you’re going to do is make her feel like an outsider, then gripe later about how annoying she is, be honest and tell her you don’t want her to go. Don’t be two faced about it.</p>
<p>I have a great explanation:</p>
<p>“I’m a total b**** and I don’t want you to come with us. I want to spend time with my friends.”</p>
<p>Whether or not it’s true, no questions will be asked. Then again, unless your roommate is truly a terror, I would think the statement is probably both effective and accurate.</p>
<p>parent here---- the posters that mentioned this is not highschool anymore are trying to tell you to GROW UP and become a human being. Kindness takes far less effort than being mean or cruel in this case. If you can not be NICE than by all means be honest and spare the young lady the abuse that you and your friends will impart on your roommate. Remember something…right now you feel very secure because you have friends but there will be a time in your life when you will feel insecure in some type of social situation.That is when you will understand the spirit of kindness and tolerance for others.</p>
<p>…da hell</p>
<p>TBH, I think the OP was one of those snobby “it girls” in middle school. That’s the type of impression this thread is giving off.</p>
<p>I would think that you could just let her come along unless she’s a total creep, which, judging from the fact that she just “invited” herself, she might be. </p>
<p>Does she have any other friends besides you? What are they doing?</p>
<p>I’m quoting from another thread, in which this OP replied this:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Obviously your junior high techniques aren’t working, because she hasn’t gotten the hint, and you can’t expect her too, because you’ve been so indirect about it. </p>
<p>She was wrong to just invite herself, yes, but you need to grow the heck up and stop acting like a 13 year old. Because you didn’t do her the courtesy of telling her until the night before Halloween, you should let her come along. Then on Sunday you should sit down and talk with her about how you think you don’t need to hang out as much as she wants too, and don’t act like an immature twat about it, which will be hard for you, I know. </p>
<p>And maybe you can try not being such a jerk to your roommate, and you might have a good time with her.</p>
<p>I wonder if she actually invited herself or just asked if she could go and the OP thought she was being “nice” by saying okay only to plan on ditching her later.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Or the OP openly talked about it in front of the roommate, in which case “inviting herself” meant that she assumed the OP wasn’t totally rude and talking about parties, events, etc. in front of someone who wasn’t invited.</p>
<p>Oh yes, that’s a very good point, Baelor. My mother always taught me throughout my childhood to not talk about parties in front of other friends who aren’t invited. Just plain bad manners.</p>
<p>My mom also told me about this one girl she knew in high school, who walked around saying “I can’t be nice to everyone, because they’d all want to be my friend.” Ring any bells around here?</p>
<p>hope i never end up with someone like OP as a roommate</p>
<p>A quick peek at OP’s previous posts shows that the roommate is international. This would explain a lot if the roommate doesn’t pick up hints - these ‘hints’ are hard for anyone. </p>
<p>I hope OP reads this thread and realized lots of people would be horrified by her attitude and not supportive of this type of immaturity. Plenty of good advice on this thread for OP - best is - be honest but tactful and kind about it.</p>
<p>Hope the roommate had a good (perhaps first) Halloween and wasn’t bothered by too many witches!</p>
<p>I wish I could be friends with the roomate myself. She sounds like a nice girl. I can sympathize with her, much more than I can sympathize with the OP.</p>
<p>^^ Ditto.</p>