It seems to me you’re over thinking this and there are just a couple points of focus: 1. saving $ for college, 2. nurturing your child. Focus on the positive, the successful study strategies, the hard work even if they didn’t get a good grade. Focus on encouraging the development of good study habits by adding as much enjoyment to the process as possible. As children mature interests shift over time. Kids gravitate toward positive emotional experience. Don’t tell them they’re smart or not. They’ll figure out what they’re good at, interested in. Pay attention. Children know if you’re paying attention or not. Don’t worry. Relax.