The part I found hardest about middle and high school was stepping back and letting my child lead. But, in retrospect, I think it was the most valuable. For example, I’d have your child do chores, learn to cook, etc. I’d also ask the child where they needed to improve and what they thought were their strengths. Part of college “fit” and success has to do with independence and maturity. For me, I had to develop outside interests (took photography class and joined a club). I wanted to role model being an independent person. As I said, it was hard at the time but I think both my child and I benefitted. Hope that gives you another perspective and possibly helps.