<p>How do I continue a relationship with my son as he moves across the country for his schooling? He is a mature, independent young adult. I am also an independent mother with many interests who knows that he is ready to launch! But, how will our relationship evolve and what can I do to foster this new relationship? We do not have many interests in common - both readers but of different genres, both engaged in different sports, etc… We connect so well because we have the same sense of humor about everyday life.</p>
<p>You just talk. Even if you don’t share many interests, he will tell you what’s going on in his life, you will tell him about yours. He’ll talk about his sport, you about yours. He’ll share what life is like in his new digs, you can tell him about the old familiar things. I have two kids launched now, and one spent a year in the Middle East, deployed. We didn’t talk often, but there certainly wasn’t much in common except the rest of our family, and that was the connection.</p>
<p>What will become clearer as time passes is that your son will become less of a child and more of a friend-almost, but not quite, a peer. There will be times when you look at this taller-than-you man with a touch of youth still in his face and feel a pang for what seems like only yesterday when he had to hold your hand crossing the street. But then you’ll marvel at who he has become and it will be all right.</p>
<p>Just be a good listener for now. When he has kids . . . he will be the listener.</p>
<p>Thanks sseamom-“There will be times when you look at this taller-than-you man with a touch of youth still in his face and feel a pang for what seems like only yesterday when he had to hold your hand crossing the street. But then you’ll marvel at who he has become and it will be all right.”</p>
<p>Made me tear up a little. :-)</p>
<p>ReadandRun-My relationship with my son got better. He is not far for school but feels like it to me. With all of the ups and downs, he has shared a lot with me. I do know that one day I won’t be as involved in his everyday life. I am just very greatful for the strong relationship we have. Luckily there are so many ways to communicate these days.</p>
<p>Text - but not too often. Every couple of days, text about funny or surprising things that have happened with people you both know, or his favorite local sports team, or something that’s going on in your life that he knows about. Kids might not talk, but they will usually text - at least occasionally.</p>
<p>this just reminded me of the time when my son was about 3, maybe 3.5, and he yanked his hand out of mine one day when we were walking down the street–i felt so rejected!!! lol</p>
<p>readandrun: if your son is as ready for college as you describe him, then it’ll be okay. you’ll miss him…but it will be okay.</p>
<p>Mine don’t need me as much as they did when they were little, but you are always a mom to boys. Heck watch NFL football…rarely do those big 'ole boys say “Hi dad”…it’s almost always “hi mom.” What I like is that they tell me important things now and not much of the trivial “stuff” and they still ask for help now and then. They appreciate when they visit the little things I do that they took forgranted when they were young. And they say “thank you” more. So I wouldn’t call it a friendship but a very deep relationship that is different than any other.</p>
<p>^ so true. it’s such a gift!</p>