<p>8th grade S was rejected for BS today. We were approached in late fall by coach from school to apply. S has athletic hook. Knew nothing about BS or application process. S and we fell in love with school after first visit and subsequent visits. S has good grades, plays multiple sports (incl being nationally ranked in one of them), ECs, good intvw, recommendations, etc. Coach was in regular contact with us during process, told us he wanted him there in the fall, and told us he’d be advocating for our S with Admissions. The downside - our son bombed the SSATs (15% overall). Not entirely his fault - we signed him up online and took him to take test without any prep. Like I said we were new to the whole process and came in late to it. If we decide to do it again we will probably look to get him a tutor to prep. Still even with his low scores we thought there was a chance given the coach’s advocating. We were very disappointed to get news today. He’s been accepted at private catholic school so we’ll probably go that direction as this BS school was the only one we applied to.</p>
<p>A few questions:</p>
<ol>
<li>I’d really like to confirm the reasons he wasn’t accepted. If I called the admisssions officer are they usually honest with feedback?</li>
<li>Anyone have any good advice on how best to break news like this to their child?</li>
<li>Is it possible at this point to try to get into any BS schools in New England area? Is rolling admissions an option at any? Even with his low SSATs?</li>
</ol>
<p>We learned a lot through this process and if we decide to try for BS next year will explore more schools to apply to and do a better job of preparing our son for it. This is rough.</p>
<ol>
<li>yep, but i’d wait a couple of days, until the madness dies down a bit to call.</li>
<li>i’m in grade 8 too, and he is completely mentally capable of knowing he wasn’t accepted. it was a really tough year this year… he’s not a baby, sorry, you didn’t get in, there’s always next year.</li>
<li>check boardingschoolreview.com, lots of schools have rolling admission. i’d definitely retake the SSATs, if there’s time.</li>
</ol>
<p>good luck!</p>
<p>First of all, I’m very sorry about the news. Your son sounds really bright (also, nationally ranked? nice!) and I’m sure he can succeed at the catholic school too. Don’t ever give up!</p>
<ol>
<li>Most are.</li>
<li>Just break it to him, plain and simple. He deserves to know and not be sheltered. This sort of thing will help him grow, however harsh that may sound-- I was devastated last year when I was waitlisted, and had a sobfest for about a month, but came out of it ultimately surer about myself and stronger. 
There are tons of factors behind why he wasn’t accepted-- it wasn’t that he just wasn’t qualified.</li>
<li>Dive’s advice is good.</li>
</ol>
<p>I’d just like to point out that most us children who REALLY want to go to boarding school are the ones in constant communication with the schools - we schedule the interviews, mail the envelopes, etc. The fact that your child has not died of suspense yet because it’s March 10th and he’s been counting down to this day for months slightly worries me, and leads me to question whether or not your child really wants this. </p>
<p>And in the bigger picture, smothering, overprotective parents such as what you portray yourself as in the above post cause much more problems for their children later in life, when their parents stop micro-managing their lives for them.</p>
<p>I’m sorry if this sounds rather rude, but one of my best friends has a parent who sounds exactly like you do right now - and I’m just letting you know.</p>
<p>As for the SSATs, I agree that he should retake it! And though I would say “make sure he studies for it this time”, I stopped myself and instead I will say, “if he wants boarding school, he will study himself.”</p>
<p>Good luck to you & your son! :)</p>
<p>Wow, you do sound rather rude. But I guess the bitterness in your tone probably explains why your user name has “lemon” in it. </p>
<p>I think I was pretty clear to point out that my S really did want to go to BS after his first visit to the school. And, I also think I was clear that this was a new experience for both parents and child and, yes, he has been eager to hear whether or not he got in. BS was never on the radar for us until we were approached by coach in late November, so we didn’t visit the school until early Dec. Once child and parents agreed it would be a good fit, we had to quickly sign-up for Dec SSAT. So we really didn’t have much time to prepare. Not sure what was in my post that caused you to categorize us as “smothering, overprotective parents”.</p>
<p>Again being new to this, we thought his hook might be strong enough to overcome his low scores, but obviously we were wrong. We/he’ll know better next time around if it’s something that he decides he wants to try for again. If so, then I’m sure he’ll prepare for it. </p>
<p>I just hope your attitude is not a representation of the majority of the type of students he’d have to deal with at a BS.</p>
<p>Do your son doesn’t know that he has been rejected yet? I agree somewhat with lemon. When I got rejected, I went to the mail, I opened the letter. I felt bad at first, but I learned how to manage it. It’s probably time for your son to learn how to manage failure as well. Also, maybe he seemed content with the school, but maybe deep inside he didn’t really want to go. I think you can get in on rolling admissions or learn how to have a great experience with public school.</p>
<p>Also, I would caution against calling the school to ask what went wrong. It could be the case that nothing went wrong. Maybe there were so few spots and the school just filled them with other qualified people. I’m sure your son would have been qualified.</p>
<p>^ I think the OP already knows what the main problem was… his SSATs. I’m not sure which school you’re applying to, or of what caliber, but a 15th percentile SSAT will raise flags, regardless of how hooked he might be or how incredible his essays were. You could always try again next year…For next year, improve and prep for the SSATs. Call them the admissions office for further feedback.</p>
<p>On a sidenote, I don’t think lemons was trying to be rude, just blunt. Your son deserves to know that he was rejected, it’s certainly disappointing but it’s not going to make or break his future- he WILL be fine. It’s just that a lot of us have gone through this process by ourselves, and we’re not used to being protected by our parents. In this case, I think it would be just a tad unnecessary (Your son is 13, he’s strong and old enough!)
Anyways, rudeness was clearly not her point. Next year (if there is one), improve on your SSATs, for sure. Best of luck to you guys!</p>
<p>Hookboy,</p>
<p>I’m very, very sorry your S wasn’t accepted. It seems to me that his SSAT score was not at all an accurate measure of his intelligence considering that he gets good grades, he didn’t know what to expect on the test and he had little time to prepare for it. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, life is not always fair. My advice would be to either apply late to a few schools that have rolling admissions, or to reapply through the regular method next year. Either way, be sure your S preps thoroughly for the SSATs next time.</p>
<p>Another suggestion I have is that maybe you should think about reposting this thread in the parents section of the prep school forum. People there might have an easier time relating to you as a parent and answering your questions than we do here. That is because this section here is filled mostly with eighth and ninth grade overachieving kids that are still really hyped up about the admissions decisions today, and we are probably not the crowd you are trying to reach. </p>
<p>Best of Luck!</p>
<p>Hookboy, disappointing news to be sure. SSAT is a probable cause. No matter how much a coach may be salivating over an athletic prospect, the admission’s office cannot in good conscience bring someone on board who may not be able to do the work. The child would be totally miserable. Most of the good boarding schools start to be concerned when the SSAT’s drop below 75%. While there’s never a hard cut off, 15% is unusual.</p>
<p>The news won’t get less disappointing with its delay, so tell your son. But also tell him that the two of you will take another shot next year if he can get his SSAT’s above 70% on practice tests. Dust yourselves off, have another go at it. It’s actually a great lesson for your son.</p>
<p>I want to apologize for Lemon who does not usually act that way on line. Most of the kids on CC are hyper Type A super achievers, but most are also really nice. Occasionally, you get a kid who is a bit too pleased with himself (herself), too smarmy. Try the parent’s site if you have future questions.</p>
<p>Best of luck.</p>
<p>I think the coach should have given you better guidance after the SSAT results came back.
I’m glad to hear that there is another option where your son will thrive. He sounds like a great kid with a loving parent.</p>