<p>How do I gently tell my kid that they just don’t have the grades to get into the medical program they think they want to. First semester of college 2.0 GPA, they need a 3.0 to get into Dental School. They have never shown an interest in school, only went off to college because they feel that they will be considered stupid if they go to a Technical College AND they don’t want to live at home. I can’t seem to get my kid to understand that college is an investment of both time and money, they are enjoying being on their own to much on my dime. I don’t mind them having fun, BUT they need to grow up and act the adult they keep telling me they are. Being in this chosen profession requires 7-8 years of schooling, not sure they are that committed. I keep hearing “it’s my life so let me live it” they didn’t even know how long they needed to be in college or what the cost is or even if one of these programs was offered in our state or where it was offered. I am at a loss here.</p>
<p>They know but since you seem willing to pay they keep up the charade</p>
<p>Write a contract for continued financial support that includes reasonably achievable academic improvement, then moving towards a minimum acceptable GPA. Only you can decide what that is. Also include an agreed upon maximum number of semesters on your dime to earn the bachelors degree or move on to dental school if that’s their choice/your agreement. I know several who stipulate 8 semesters.</p>
<p>Your kiddo is a FIRST semester college student. If this kid really wants to apply to dental school, he has plenty of time to raise his GPA. </p>
<p>Dis he get all C’s or were some grades lower?</p>
<p>Also, its very likely the 3.0 is the absolute minimum and most dental schools require far higher GPAs than that. </p>
<p>None of the HS classmates who went off to dentist school and became licensed dentists aimed for only a 3.0. They’d feel that’s aiming too low and effectively setting oneself to fail in that goal. It’s much more like a 3.5-6+.</p>
<p>The kid wants to go to Dental school…then the kid needs to improve the grades. There really is no contract necessary in my opinion. The “kid” most likely will get a degree and have to find a job at the end, but the kid just won’t go onto Dental school. I would tell the kiddo that some majors require a B average. If there are scholarships based on GPA in play i would put my foot down about what will happen if those are lost but as far as jet propelling a 19-20 year old into Dental school…only they can do this.</p>
<p>P.S. why would YOU need to explain?</p>
<p>First semester of college 2.0 GPA, they need a 3.0 to get into Dental School</p>
<p>getting into dental school is as difficult as getting into med school. A 3.0 is NOT high enough…more likely a 3.6+ will be needed. He would also need a strong DAT score. </p>
<p>It is VERY hard to raise a 2.0 (even from one semester) to a cum GPA of 3.6+.</p>
<p>does his college have a pre-health advisor? If so, have your son make an appt.</p>
<p>You have a point there Thumper. Hopefully the adviser is honest about what it will take to be competitive for dental school.</p>
<p>It’s not only having a high GPA that matters, you also have to take the pre-dental pre-reqs which are similar to the pre-med pre-reqs, except I think dental requires more chemistry.</p>
<p>How strong is your son in the hard sciences? Has he taken Bio for STEM majors yet? What about Gen Chem? </p>
<p>Usually taking those classes “weed out” a bunch of kids.</p>
<p>What did your son take first semester? Should have started bio or chem and they will be weeder classes. He should have gotten at least a B in either with the intention of doing better in subsequent classes.</p>
<p>With a 2.0, he needs to talk to the health careers advisor immediately and most likely get another plan. Needs a 3.5+ with good to great DATs to get in to dent school. Very competitive these days; my alma mater accepted 5% of all applicants for the Class of 2016. Quite frankly, at the rate he’s going, he will self-select out of the pre-dent track. </p>
<p>We told our kids you have 4 years to get a degree on our money at your LAC. Minimum grade point to keep your merit scholarship required.</p>
<p>The C’s were barely gotten, they don’t seem to realize they are on the edge of probation, they act as if we (their parents) are being unreasonable and that we think they’re stupid. We don’t think they’re stupid , we just believe that you need to know what you can and cannot accomplish given your track record. We believe they need to understand that not going to college and chooisng a 2 year assoc degree may be in their best interest and that to be successful we ALL have to know our own limitations.</p>
<p>I am confused by the plurals - does the OP have twins? If more than one, how do you have two equally deluded children with no variation of goal or unrealistic expectation?</p>
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<p>Try, “It’s my money, so I can decide how to spend it”. I saw something recently out here about a parent who paid for schooling based on the kid’s grades. I think any kind of “A” got 100% paid for, a “B” was a lower % (75?), and Cs were lower. I would think you could divide the previous semester up by the number of credits, and tell them for the next semester that is how much you will pay. They will have to cover the rest by working, taking out loans, or even taking a semester off to make money to go back.</p>
<p>Obviously you would want to give them notice that this is the new plan, and your spouse has to be on board. You could present what you are willing to do, tell them it starts with next semester’s grades (eg, this winter’s grades affect how much you will pay for next fall).</p>
<p>I wouldn’t recommend this for every kid, but sounds like something that might work with yours. They sure need some kind of kick in the pants and have to be more invested in their education than they are right now.</p>
<p>And really – why would you be “gentle” about it?? They are wasting your hard earned money!</p>
<p>bchan1 -</p>
<p>crngmom is using “they” as a neutral singular form in order to avoid identifying the child as male or female. This usage is quite common in speech, but less common in writing.</p>
<p>crngmom -</p>
<p>Only you and any other parent(s) involved can determine your financial limits. If you did not clearly set them before your child applied to college, it is time that you do so. Start by determining what your family X, Y and Z are and then let the child know $X for Y semesters provided the child maintains a GPA of Z. Sometimes our children surprise us and do even better than Z or graduate in fewer than Y or land a departmental scholarship that results in the family shelling out less than $X. What career do you think your child is best suited for? Nothing wrong with suggesting that either.</p>
<p>Op, my GPA 1st quarter was 1.9 (Engineering/Comp Sci major) and now I am a physician, MD. Thus, it is totally possible to make through ok. However, I did have some basic level of smarts (as was accepted as Engineering/CS). There are lots of hard intro classes in the STEM majors. Add to the fact the newfound independence/socializing/partying/poor study habits and 1st semester grades can be low. Some kids learn to improve on the social aspect/studying and can stay on track, some kids find the classes too hard and change majors, some kids can’t adjust and get kicked out.</p>
<p>You could always use the “Raise your semester GPA to 3.25 or I withdraw my financial support” line.</p>
<p>Keeps things real.</p>
<p>your kiddo will either get into dental school or not. This has nothing to do with you.</p>
<p>But, I’m confused. You say kiddo has never shown any interest in school. Were the grades much better in high school? I know there is a lot of grade inflation in a lot of high schools, so maybe so. </p>
<p>Either way, be realistic. I have a close friend who made her kiddo go to college because she wanted him to get a degree. Kid said fine. But, then, once the kid got there, Mom was all about, “Well, if you don’t get a B average, we won’t pay for it.”</p>
<p>Kiddo said, “Fine, I’ll quit and get a job as a guide,” which was what he really wanted to do anyway. Mom? “no.no.no. Get the degree.” End of threats.</p>
<p>You can’t threaten to make them pay for something YOU want them to have. If your kid is at school to please you, they aren’t going to stay and pay. </p>
<p>Just in case that’s the situation…</p>
<p>Going back to the issue of ‘how to explain?’</p>
<p>Something like this: “I have looked into it and you really need a GPA of 3.5 plus, and some specific prerequisites, to have any serious chance for dental school. If that’s what you really want, you better talk to an advisor at school and work out a plan”.</p>
<p>Then what? How can that hurt anyone’s feelings?</p>
<p>Some kids study outside the US because they can’t get into school here. Grenada, Costa Rico, etc.</p>
<p>Your kiddo may not be at the published averages for schools but all schools have outliers-people who don’t fit the profile-in the student population.</p>