<p>Agree that “how can I help” is a question the OP doesn’t want the answer to. Perhaps a simple “thank you for sharing your news” is enough.</p>
<p>I think siliconvalleymom really hit the nail on the head. It sounds like this young woman could use some solid information on pregnancy itself.</p>
<p>Spot on Classof2015.</p>
<p>The best thing for the baby may not be the best thing for the unwed, unemployed young soon-to-be mom. A stable, loving, two parent home is the best start for a baby. </p>
<p>Adoption…a win for the baby, the couple aching for a baby, and hopefully (eventually) for the pregnant young lady.</p>
<p>This topic is one I have experienced recently. My 32 year old niece (never graduated high school/ never worked/drug addicted on a regular basis) has already lost custody of her 7 1/2 year old son who is being raised by my brother and sister-in-law. Last May she became preganant again and had twin girls on New Years day.</p>
<p>Her father(my brother in-law) is living in fantasy land when he insists she have a loving relationship with her children (they have a bizarre co-dependent relationship). She was determined to raise these girls (their father is no where to be seen) by herself because she “loved her children and they love her”. By the way, my niece was adopted…and “would never do that to her children”. So sad.</p>
<p>Another Aunt notified Child Protective Services before the babies left the hospital and advised them about my neices lack of parenting skills etc. They were aware of her case, because of her loss of custody of her older son.
She was allowed to take the babies to a group “home for unwed mothers”. After 3 weeks she again lost custody of these children, and they are now in foster care. She was told she had to go through a 6 month “training” program living in a group home of some type…and if she successfully completes that program she may get her babies back. </p>
<p>Bottom line—these beautiful babies are in the middle of a nightmare. Bad decisions have left them in what I hope and pray is not a lifetime of existence in a dysfunctional family.</p>
<p>Some people should not become parents…particularly those who cannot feed and clothe their children at a minimum. </p>
<p>I know some unwanted pregnancies work out fine in the end…I have another niece who is really doing great after the same experience—married , job, more kids, excellent parent.</p>
<p>But there are some who just can’t do it. Financially, emotionally etc.</p>
<p>And no one has discussed the grandparents she is living with…do they get a say in if they want a baby brought into their home? Raising their grandson has put a huge strain on my brother and sister-in-laws marriage. They are financially drained…and thus said NO to allowing their daughter to bring the twins home to live with them. They are 70 years old and now have been reminded how hard it is to raise one child…let alone three.</p>
<p>The fantasy that “I can do it” and that “my baby will love me” is just unrealistic. Being a parent is hard work…being a good parent is extremely hard work.</p>
<p>Maybe this girl will get it together, I hope so. Since you have a good relationship with her, I suppose a “I will pray for you both” might be in order.</p>
<p>I am just so tired of seeing children used and manipulated. These are human beings…not puppies. You cannot ignore them EVER. </p>
<p>I am sorry for the long post…clearly I needed to vent.</p>
<p>“May you be blessed with a happy, healthy baby”</p>