We would like to find a consultant who can help us better understand the culture of a few schools.
We don’t need help applying, so prefer someone who is comfortable with an hourly rate for a phone call or two.
Our list is short right now. One GLADCHEMMS and one Hidden Gem (an odd misnomer to me. I think it is one of the best schools out there. It sure why people say such places are hidden?) We would like to add two more schools to the list, and have about six contenders. Need to know how to narrow that.
My child’s criteria are very specific, which is good as they know what they want and need. As a parent, I am looking to avoid certain things and need to discuss this with someone who has visited all of the schools and really knows the current cultures.
Not sure posting names is allowed here. If that is the case, please message me with your suggestions for proven boarding school consultants who truly know the landscape.
Your help is very much appreciated. Thanks!
We used someone very good as our middle school didn’t have expertise in BS. feel free to DM me.
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I would recommend you look at the Independent School Consultants Association (IECA) website for more information and potential options. Best advice is to make sure they are really experienced, have visited the schools recently and meet your hourly need.
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Try reaching out to @RoonilWazlib99 . They liked the person they used and were doing this from afar.
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You can ask questions here and start getting a sense of the different schools you’re interested in. I don’t know consultants who specifically offer the limited service you want, but maybe any of them would if you ask.
FWIW, hidden gem schools are generally not as universally known and as a result sometimes not as difficult to be admitted to. It’s not about the quality of instruction or overall educational experience.
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Ok. Here goes.
Three of the schools we would like to learn more about:
*culture and the genuine happiness and kindness of the student body
*the excellence of the school leadership
*we prefer zero tolerance drug/alcohol policies. That’s not his jam. At least not yet and I’d like to keep it like that until college if possible.
Kent
Hill
Berkshire
Our current urban day school is very socially competitive. Kid knows how to play the game, and is actually pretty good at it. He just doesn’t want to any more.
We can assess for academic pressure and fit (or, more likely, the schools will do that for him 
). He is a very bright student, but I believe so many of these applicants are. We are really looking for a place that he can be himself. He is an athlete in a hyper masculine school who feels he needs to edit himself among current peers. He can’t speak openly about his transgender sibling whom he loves dearly. This hurts his heart. It isn’t cool to be an artist so he pretends it isn’t his best subject. He is ranked 1 of 225 students in his grade for art and technical design in a school with an amazing department. In essence, he isn’t living transparently. And he wants that to change.
Where can a kid like this be comfortable bringing his whole self? He is very recruitable for his sport, is a bit of a gentle giant, and loves a school with spirit for athletics. He is also a deep listener more than an overbearing talker. He would be a considerate roommate.
If you can speak to the above three bullets with regards to the three schools listed, that would be amazing. We have looked deeply online at more than 35 schools. If a school is not on that list, it is one of the two we are certain fit him or has been ruled out for his very specific criteria. We are really looking for a cultural fit above all else.
Or feel free to tell me to just hire the consultant. I probably should. This is more difficult than we anticipated.
Thank you!
I have no idea what the “one-strike/multiple strike” drug and alcohol disciplinary policies are at these three schools. I believe Hill used to be one-strike, if it isn’t still.
What I do know is that I have heard recent reports of drug use at 2 of these schools.
This is not a scandal.
Drugs (and alcohol) are present at every boarding school we know of, regardless of the official discipline policy. These are high schools kids. And they are not swayed by one-strike or multiple strike policies. They just do their damndest not to get caught. And when caught, they just hope the staff member turns a blind eye - which can happen at so-called one-strike schools because the consequences of expulsion are so high.
Check out the State of the Academy report st Andover, and reference the drug and alcohol section. Laudable that the school publishes these stats. These poll results are a very good proxy for student behaviour at most boarding schools.
Perhaps military academies don’t have drugs on campus. But boarding schools do. We speak to our BS kids a lot, they tell us about the drug scenes at various schools, they reassure us they don’t do them, we trust them - and we HOPE they are telling us the truth.
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You can find most of the student handbooks online.
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Understood. Helpful, thank you. That is exactly where we will find the policies.
Any insight in the first two bullet points regarding the schools in question?
You should include Peddie in your search/
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That was on our list and fits the criteria. (I listed three of our six).
Please tell me what you love about it?
@cheerfulmom i hope you don’t mind that I changed your subject title…everytime I looked at BS, I didn’t think of boarding school!
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Aside from top notch faculty and academics, my favorite thing about the school is that it gives the students room to grow and come into themselves. The students are nice and collaborative and there is no social hierarchy. Kids from different “groups” mix and mingle throughout the day and work well together. The pervasive culture is “you-do-you” and that was really important to my kids.
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Both of my sons applied to Hill and although neither attended, my husband and I were very impressed with the school, especially the new Head of School whom I found thoughtful and approachable. The community appeared warm and the kids told us they were happy to be there. I have no idea about their drug/alcohol disciplinary policies.
Until relatively recently, Kent was a one strike school. I know this as an acquaintance’s son was expelled under it. That was probably 5-6 years ago. Things may have changed.
I have one son who attended Avon Old Farms and this is a school that despite being all boys or perhaps because it is all boys, actually did not have a toxic masculine culture. It is well known for athletics but they have a strong arts program and there are top athletes who are also award winning artists and the school and student body celebrate both. They have a nationally recognized chorale - all the boys have to participate as 9th graders and a remarkable number of them continue in one of the performing groups, athletes included. Not anything I would ever have expected. Without girls on campus to “impress” the classroom vibe is very different - boys are not worried about saying something wrong I think. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s quite positive. They talk about it as a brotherhood and they walk the walk. We loved the thoughtfulness of the administration and faculty and how the HOS knew each boy by face/name early on. Many of the faculty have been there long-term, including HOS. They are committed to the education of boys.
The one downside from what you are looking for perhaps is that the student body leans more politically conservative. My son is politically progressive and came from a socially progressive school and he was very happy there. It felt very inclusive as to race/ethnicity, but I can’t with confidence say it would feel inclusive to a gay or transgender student. In general though, our experience was a kind, welcoming and inclusive student body.
As a final thought, when you visit ask the student tour guide about the things that are important to you. Ask coaches to put you in touch with other athletes. These kids will tell your son the true story - when there are no adults around 
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The suggestion of asking the coach for an intro to other athletes in his sport is great! Thank you.
He is currently at an all boys school. He is cis straight, but wow is it over the top masculine. Not in a good way. Too alpha only for our taste. Glad other boys schools don’t necessarily have that issue, but we won’t take a chance. A coed culture of acceptance is a must.
Thank you for your perspective on Hill. Very helpful.
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Have you looked at Governor’s?
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No rowing. But it looks like a wonderful school.
My son is in his 4th year at the Hill school and he has had a great experience. Feel free to PM me but he has a great group of friends who are serious about their academics and athletics and support each other. I don’t know if it is “one strike” but they are very clear on what the rules are but my son doesnt find them overly restrictive. We have seen several students leave over the years. We don’t always know why but my son has said they were for “serious violations” so they are not hesitant to enforce their rules regardless of who the student is or who their parents are. The head of school is in her 2nd year and seems great - we have no complaints.
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