How to get over an infatuation

<p>I like this girl and she kind of likes me too…but the thing is, our lifestyles & cultures are too different, she is a white conservative, devout christian and I am a liberal agnostic indian…not to be mean to the girl, but she is mediocre looking but nonetheless I am infatuated with this girl probably because of her values & morals. I need to get over her as it is affecting my studies and other activities(I have actually started going to church with her)…give me some tips to get over her.</p>

<p>Just stop hanging out with her. Replace the time you spent with her with friends, activities and whatever work you’re not getting done…eventually a new girl will come along and you’ll be all good.</p>

<p>Or…just develop better time management skills?</p>

<p>i would probably like this girl. but for other reasons.</p>

<p>Find another way to spend your time. Talk to your parents. I’m surprised Indian parents would let you go to church with a white conservative friend (I don’t know any Indian parents who would allow that–they’re usually too conservative in the cultural sense.)</p>

<p>Why the heck are you going to church with her? I’ve got nothing against church, etc, but your attendance is a fraud. You say you’re agnostic and she’s devout…going to church with her is dishonest if you’re not doing it out of values and morals.</p>

<p>see, the thing is I believe in god, but I do not follow a specific religion…I guess I am truly not agnostic…I’ll do my best to stop hanging out with here…but the trouble is she lives in the same dorm as me…so its kinda hard…at least I’ll get spring break to get her out of my mind.</p>

<p>Just for yuks, next time, try posting the same thing without mentioning that she is a “white conservative devout Christian”, then you’ll get people advising you to try to make the relationship work.</p>

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<p>Sage, if crude, advice.</p>

<p>Have you tried talking to her about your busy schedule? She seems like a nice girl. Maybe if you worked with her (explaining how you need time for activities and grades) she could be more accommodating and you could still hang out. You say you like each other, so what’s the problem? Nothing automatically wrong with having different cultures or values.</p>

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<p>Are you a mother? The OP is 18+ and shouldn’t have to listen to his parents over personal things like church. And don’t generalize. My best friend is Indian and his parents DO NOT do any of that conservative-traditionalist Indian culture/style you americans are so quick to make fun of.</p>

<p>dude foxdie!, chill out man. your best friend is by far the exception to the rule. most indian parents (1st generation or otherwise) still carry and impress south asian cultural values on their kids, regardless of age. This whole idea that you’re 18 and hence an adult is usually poohpoohed by most Indian parents as a purely Western mindset; in Indian culture, ur pretty much pressured to submit to your parent’s will till ur married(sometimes not even then ~_~)</p>

<p>what scared me today, was when I asked her what is the most important thing in her life and she answered having a family…I am running away from her now…I guess we can still have a platonic friendship.</p>

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<p>I think this is true, but I’m an Indian living in India, not the US. I’ve got lots of relatives in the US too. (and hopefully I’ll be studying there this year - when will April come!?!!?!?!?) My parents aren’t like that, though, which is very very very very very rare.</p>

<p>I don’t mean to turn this into an argument on Indian culture.</p>

<p>foxdie, notice that I didn’t <em>approve</em> of that attitude (that of most Indian parents, which is to keep their children romantically distant from “white conservative church” folks). I personally don’t share that attitude. I didn’t see a problem with the cultural difference of the OP and his girl. If you read my last post:</p>

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<p>I suggested that the OP have a talk with the girl and talk about his schedule, commitments, etc., so that he could have it both ways (get the girl and the grades). I think they should make their relationship work. When I expressed surprise that his parents allowed him to go to church with the girl in my first post, I didn’t know that he was a college student living in a dorm away from the parents. It was an expression of surprise–I didn’t think an Indian high school student living at home would be allowed to have this relationship. I wasn’t telling him he was doing something wrong. And by the way I’m not white either…</p>

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<p>…do you have any idea what a platonic relationship is?</p>

<p>Spooning is most definitely involved.</p>

<p>Rofl to the previous post</p>

<p>I’m telling the truth. My dictionary defines ‘platonic,’ of love or friendship, as intimate and affectionate, but not sexual.</p>

<p>I’ve had several, and it’s like sex but with clothes on.</p>

<p>The truth is her parents would be as opposed to this relationship as would mine. You would think that Indians are the most bigoted and ignorant people, which is far from the truth.</p>

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<p>I have Indian parents, and believe me it isn’t.</p>

<p>Familiar with the abbreviation “BMW”? No, it is not in reference to the car.</p>

<p>^ hahha I know what it means!! I think you should go for it because if you fight against your feelings you’re going to like her even more. Besides, you can find a balance!</p>