<p>My child now knows all her options. She is lucky to have many choices and probably would be happy at any of the places. She has probably narrowed it down to 3. She likes them all and could see herself at them but no one stands out as the clear choice.</p>
<p>I have thought to have her make a list of pros and cons of each school. Any thoughts on things she should be thinking about as she makes her lists.</p>
<p>I’m in the same situation with 2 schools mom60…
I made the pros cons lists… factoring in:
-where I’d feel most comfortable/ be happy at
-the location - what it offers
-looked at the course catalogues and made specific points about the courses offered at both (good and bad)
-social scene
-what I think I’d get out of from both…
-future career path
-student:faculty ratio
-the “stereotyped” image
-the 2 diff environments - in terms of everything -> intellectual/learning and social etc (and where u prefer)
-overall experience
-people you know there (at both places)
-weather
-proximity to airport
-neighbourhood and vicinity
-resources offered in both schools/both locations</p>
<p>I also posed a lot of questions for myself…
and also for other people to answer…</p>
<p>I also took the advice from a wide range of people (just finishing up on receiving all the advice). - range of people meaning parents, grandparents, teachers, friends, family friends, CCers, students at both schools.
Talked to students from both school and propsective students from both schools…</p>
<p>And now… I will think quietly till April 30th and make a final decision.
Where is ur D choosing between?</p>
<p>These are not make or break factors, but I count among the important little things that are sometimes overlooked the following:</p>
<p>–when looking at total cost, be sure to figure out ALL fees (health, phone, activity, etc.) and what they cover (e.g., does student activity fee cover the ticket price for those big sporting events? Can health insurance fee be waived if you have insurance?). That misc. stuff can add up.</p>
<p>–does the college have a sleep in infirmary (most don’t these days)? Doctor on call all the time, or “just” a nurse? (or only security?) Can prescriptions be easily filled? (As you can probably guess, my child got very sick 1st semester and we learned about this stuff the hard way.)</p>
<p>–What is the advising system? How personal? Are there freshmen advisers–and how many advisees do they have? Dept. advisers? Pre-professional advising?</p>
<p>good luck…</p>
<p>OK, Ready? Heads, it’s option A; Tails, …</p>
<p>I saw a suggestion on this board several years ago that was really helpful to my daughter. Make a very involved list of all of pros and cons of each school…then rip it up and let your gut make your final decision. Sometimes there are things that we just can’t put a finger on that really attract us to a school…If we try too hard to make an analytical decision, sometimes we lose track of those fleeting feelings (which may be more truthful than our analytical answers)</p>
<p>…Be sure to enjoy this time and take time away from the decision making…just taking a walk in the woods can sometimes help clear the mind more than anything else.</p>
<p>Son just made his decision. He just was waiting for the financial aid package information to make sure it was o.k. to go with his first choice, number one pick…since he visited last summer, Lawrence University. It came down to a heart and mind thing. His mind was with USC, Thornton School of Music, composition. Amazing offer. We visited and he loved the campus. Friendly people, in fact his whole growing up, he has had a USC hat on his head. But after visiting Lawrence this summer also, his heart was in Wisconsin. The school is small; he met the oboe teacher; he had a “real” interview; it was his place. And it is his decision. That part is done! Yeah!!!</p>
<p>I like Kosha’s suggestion - it takes the subjective and objective into account. </p>
<p>overseas,
glad the money for Lawrence came through. Is your son the mythic left-handed oboe player that always gets his first choice in the admissions game?</p>
<p>We faced the same thing 2 years ago. Fortunately, daughter’s final 3 were situated in the same general area, forming a triangle about 2-1/2 hours apart on each leg. I took her back to revisit each one over a 4-day weekend in April, which was one of the more enjoyable experiences I can remember. However, when we got home, nothing had changed. She made a half-hearted attempt at compiling a list, but still no choice emerged. Finally, on the last night before the deposit was due, I spent about 10 minutes giving her my list of pros and cons, told her what I thought worked best for her, and then simply pointed out that she had about an hour to make the decision, because that was just the way it was. She came down from her room in about 15 minutes with a decision, looking happy and relieved.</p>
<p>Dear overseas,</p>
<p>So glad the financial package finally arrived and was, apparently, sufficient! Maybe our sons will meet at Lawrence–mine will be the left-handed trumpet player. 
</p>
<p>mom60–My son has also narrowed his choices to three. A couple other places were eliminated already–one because they offered no financial aid, another because his trumpet teacher said the music school was not as good as the others he is considering. In a week my son will be leaving to visit all three final choices, because he has never been to any of them. He will stay in the dorms at two of them (The other does not allow it.), eat in the cafeteria, visit classes, get a trumpet lesson with the teacher he would have, and just get a feel for the places. I hope (and pray) that when he returns, he will know which is the place for him. (IF not, I will be back on the board feverishly reading this thread again!)</p>
<p>we ranked criteria and assigned points</p>
<p>school size
location ( inc travel time & rapport with town)
academic rigor
ec opportunities
expense
facilities
housing
dining halls</p>
<p>She was deciding between an instate public school that she had planned on attending for years- the cost was equal to EFC but she recieved a small academic scholarship as well as the governors needbased merit scholarship for staying in state.
The private school vowed to meet need- but that still meant that we would be paying out EFC as well as taking loans as part of package.
It was a hard decision- they were equal in some ways- but other ways not.
but the kicker was when we visited the public college( known for its protests) during admit week and saw a flyer for a rally against daylight saving time ( no rationale was given)
we both just thought that was too silly 
She much prefered the talking heads dance party at the private school</p>
<p>I suspect that Digmedia might have been being a little facetious about the coin-flipping, but it is actually sometimes a good way to determine what you REALLY want. If it comes up “heads” and you are deep down sorry it did, you know you need to go “tails!” </p>
<p>I also like the rip up the list idea! </p>
<p>But when it all comes to decision time, if all is equal, one can be pretty sure happiness (or what a friend of mine suggests is more important, a movement toward greater WHOLENESS) can be found in more than one place.</p>
<p>Digmedia- I can laugh at your post but it might come down to that for her. And as momofthree has pointed out, There is not the one perfect place for anyone. I firmly believe she will grow and be happy no matter where she ends up.<br>
Driver- I think that if she visited all 3 again she still might not have a clear choice. And unfortunately they are all in entirely different parts of the country. And she will probably be like your D and decide at the last possible moment.
silver wavez- you’ve given me some great things to have her think about.
Susan- good luck to your son on his visits.</p>
<p>Ohio_Mom, right-handed oboe & compositon probably helped!</p>
<p>Susantm, Wouldn’t that be something!</p>
<p>So glad to know we are not the only ones see-sawing over the choices we have to make! When I’m lying awake tonight worrying I’ll think of you all!</p>
<p>overseas
ah - composition! Nephew is a composition major at CIM. </p>
<p>Best wishes to all in the decision process!</p>
<p>I like Kosha’s idea also.</p>
<p>In our case, DS has fixed his mind on his EA school ever since he was accepted. He applied a couple of more, equally selective schools (to compare financial aid), and got into one. The latter provides an extremely generous financial aid ($8K difference, both are need-based), which makes his choice more difficult. </p>
<p>For parents, the latter seems a better choice for a financial reason. I let the EA school know the other offer. But I do not expect a matching.</p>
<p>He set up visits to both schools. (he never visited any college). He will likely decide at the last moment.</p>
<p>Silver, you sound so mature and smart. I had to double check to make sure you are only an 18 year old. No doubt in my mind that which ever school you decide on, you will do well! Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>Mom60: I like what Silver said about thinking quietly. Once your daughter has weighed the pro’s and con’s, she should probably just let it sit for a few weeks. She will find her answer.</p>
<p>Silver - we’re with you, and our list is very much like yours. We are coming up with definite positives and definite negatives for each school in equal proportion though, and we can’t visit the campuses. I am awake almost all night every night and D is jumpy and restless and frantic, going slowly mad “letting it sit” and waiting to hear in the next couple of weeks from people she’s in contact with in the cities of all the schools in question. Why, if we know she can probably be happy at any one of them, are we so terrified of making a wrong choice? We all want it to be over, but it feels like it will take another week or two…</p>
<p>Aww thank you carolyn, usmominuk such sweet comments made me smile.</p>
<p>Ummm… I totally know what you mean usmominuk… I was stressed about waiting for decisions and not knowing my fate… now that I’m spoilt for choice, I’m stressed again…!!! Unbelievable eh?
Such is the human mind… never satisfied LOL.</p>
<p>I’m “letting it sit”, and praying every night, and every morning I wake up, and I’m closer and closer to the answer.
My heart tells me to go to Barnard, and I think I will most likely end up there… but I’m still reading up on Chicago and talking to students there etc…
So yeh, still swaying, but in the end, I think I need to follow my heart. I don’t want to go against what I live by, and definitely don’t want to compromise my overall happiness.
Ultimately, I think all of us (and your D’s and S’s) are very blessed, spoilt for choice… and I don’t think we can go “wrong”… we’re in a win-win situation.</p>
<p>And like many people have told me - college is what you make of it.
Whereevver I or your children go, we will make the most of it and I know that we’ll be happy and enjoyy ourselves. I think that’s probably the most important thing. I took the advice of many parents on these boards, to put aside ‘name’ and ‘prestige’… makes it a lot easier…</p>
<p>Up till May 1st, it will probably be a little stressful… with our minds racing and going around in circles, weighing out all the possibilities… and going off on “what if” tangents… but I think personally, I need to chill out and not take myself too seriously… if I stress about it, I’ll miss the last few weeks of senior year - and I really don’t want to do that…
I take reallllllll comfort in knowing I can’t make a “wrong/bad choice”.</p>
<p>I hope everyone here chooses wisely, but at the same time not take it too seriously that you forget to celebrate the accomplishments and be thankful for our “predicament”.</p>
<p>Btw, I just want to say, you CC 'rents rock!! :D</p>