<p>well, ladies, it looks like most of us are batting 100% on the good news front. Got my biopsy results back today and got a clean bill of health.</p>
<p>It was kind of weird, though, because I think the nurse practitioner who saw me today is used to women having a much stronger reaction than I did, to the worry aspect (not that I don’t worry about other things) because she kept saying, “It’s all good news.” I told her that that’s what I truly felt and expected, so I hadn’t been all that worked up since having the biopsy yesterday. On the other hand, had I chosen to wait the six months and go back for another mammogram instead of choosing the biopsy, I’d have been a basket case and made everyone in my life miserable waiting. D2 will be in London for the fall semester and I just didn’t want that kind of potential news hanging out there. I told them both today, after I got the results back, basically saying, it’s no big deal, it’s over with, and 30 years down the road if you’re ever asked if your mother ever have an abnormal mammogram, you’ll be able to give them the correct information.</p>
<p>Teriwtt, That’s wonderful news, and I think you were wise to pursue a definitive answer instead of taking a wait-and-see approach. </p>
<p>HeartArt, I found your comment to be compassionate and genuine. It’s fair to assume that the bald woman in the pink cap dressed as she did to proclaim “breast cancer!” Sure, bc isn’t her complete identity, but it’s evidently a part of her identity that she has chosen to share. Others choose differently. Your reaction was thoughtful and heartfelt and in line with the goal of heightened awareness that leads many women with bc to go public with this part of their lives.</p>
<p>Pathfinder and Teriwtt: Congratulations on your wonderful news, I am sure both of you and your families are thrilled and grateful. It is wonderful that everyone here is able to talk about how difficult this process can be and yet what a relief it is when you know what is going on via test results. It was a special benefit for me because I did not know anyone well who had been down this road before. All the insights and stories shared here were of tremendous help. And I did not feel so alone!</p>
<p>Zip, you made an excellent point! She did proclaim herself with her cap! If she had been wearing a wig, no one would have known. Good for her! Getting it out in the open is very healthy. As a side note, my son attends an all boys school. The beloved secretary at his school underwent breast cancer treatment a few years ago. She worked as much as she could throughout and all the students knew and supported her. They wore pink shirts and ties, pink ribbons, raised money, wore stickers on the their football helmets, families sent food, etc. She came to work with various hairstyles, wigs, no hair, whatever and the entire school community was behind her. Today she is doing very well and still at work, so the students all know her story. No one is more admired, respected and loved than this woman.</p>
<p>And yes, if my results had been otherwise, she is one of the first people I would have contacted.</p>
<p>I was not questioning whether your sentiment was heartfelt or not, just that it sounded from your post that you assumed she would be thinking about her cancer and her own mortality. It was sometimes this kind of reaction from friends and strangers that frustrated me! Yes, I am undergoing treatment, but I don’t think about it every minute of every day and I for one tried to banish those thoughts of “will I be here” away.
As to wearing a wig or not…“getting it out in the open is healthy”
Who are you to decide what is healthy or not. Maybe many women wear wigs to avoid the very kind of judgements and comments that you were thinking. Maybe they aren’t brave enough to be bald in public. It has NOTHING to do with a desire to be mentally healthy.
Maybe she didn’t wear a wig to that dance because they are hot and uncomfortable and she would be dancing and didn’t want to feel uncomfortable.
I just want others to remember that their friends, loved ones, strangers with breast cancer don’t want to be defined by it. It takes over our lives enough as it is.</p>
<p>I apologize once again. I would not presume to know what the woman was thinking, I just relayed my OWN thoughts, ones that were fresh in my mind from having a needle biopsy, not her necessarily her thoughts. Of course, it is also not up to me to decide what is healthy or not, I meant it is healthy to have the topic out in the open as opposed to being afraid to discuss it. And I was not referring to HER mental health!! I am old enough to remember when people would only whisper the word cancer or not tell a patient they had the disease. She was wearing a pink Breast Cancer cap as opposed to a generic cap or hat. I thought it was great. But if she had chosen a wig or whatever, great! I am not passing judgement on her or anyone else. I am sorry if my comments seem to indicate otherwise. Also, I would never “define” someone by their disease, it would not even occur to me to do so.</p>
<p>It sounds like you have had some negative experiences and perhaps some people have been insensitive. If that is true, I am sorry. I am not trying to add myself to that group.</p>
<p>Sending good thoughts your way for now and in the future.</p>
<p>I did not lose my hair when I had chemo, it thinned considerably. I did not detect any patronizing here. everyone shows genuine concern. I know I hated the pity as well. I still think about the person who looked me up and down and said “Well you look good”. Same person who did not invite me to her wedding because she had it in her family and it scared her. Fortunately people like her are the minority. and ignorant. When I am frightend (have had 5 bipsies since) My inclination is to circle the wagons and withdraw, Now I search for what I need in the way I need it. To my H -you need or don’t need to come. My friends lets talk about other, things please help me distract. Self care whatever. I inform my caregivers how I am feeling without apology. However I do not involve my kids. With them I tend to embrace my life with them, my family has really gotten me through. My own mothe rsuffered a loss and it seemed to affect the whole family forever, I have tried to mitigate this and not let the whole family resove around this. It is a condition I need to deal with it does not define me. Just like someone is not a diabetic per se- but a PERSON with diabetes who needs to take certain steps to insure their health. I hope the string continues awaiting MRI results.</p>
<p>What makes me “crazy” (with fear) are the constant checkups. (I am leaving in 20 minutes for a scheduled 3 month recheck). I am also having another blood test for ovarian cancer (yes, I know lots of false positives. But if it is a false positive, I am having a hysterectomy in a week.)</p>
<p>I found out something new, startling and importent yesterday: You know how many women (and vegetarians) eat soy/tofu for dietary and menopausal symptoms? Seems it mimics estrogen. Guess what? Unless it is naturally fermented (ie soy sauce) it can add hormones that can stimulate cancer. Check with your doctors…the person who told me this has the braca gene, goes to UCLA’s finest, and is not a nervous hilaria (as my mother would have said). She had a hysterectomy at 33 and is being watched for breast cancer. </p>
<p>As far as how my children reacted: One was there but not active in helping. An older daughter was incredible (despite the fact that I kept telling her enough…she wasn’t over the top, she had a life…but I noticed that she "studied"more at home). My youngest was ashamed of me and what was happening. Oh well…</p>
<p>I learned that about soy a couple of years after my first diagnosis of breast cancer 9 years ago. I’ve avoided it like the plague ever since! There is just an incredible amount of information that a “savvy breast cancer consumer” needs to know and keep up on. And it changes on a regular basis. (But doesn’t change ENOUGH in my humble opinion - come on science, I would really like to see some BIG advances and soon.)</p>
<p>Keeping life as normal as possible was a huge goal - my children were young and it was hard for them to truly comprehend. I could function and cope better knowing that their lives were pretty much “same old same old”. (My barely 13 year old son did not want ANYONE to know, which wasn’t realistic. But I kept it on the “down low” amongst the parents of his friends who DID know and helped kept an eye on him.) </p>
<p>For all the tedious follow up checks - I have treated that as standard stuff, going through the motions, no need to trouble the family with boring details. That helps ME stay calm. I seldom tell my H until AFTER an appointment unless he somehow knows that Dr So and So is on my calendar. I have recently discussed with my now older kiddos that I will discuss or not discuss information with them - they can let me know their comfort level. Their call, within reason as sometimes they MUST be “in the loop”.</p>
<p>Yes, circle the wagons and pick and chose carefully who is in that loop. Most of the “initiated” understand that concept quite well. At least that is MY preferred MO.</p>
<p>I will keep my fingers crossed for good news, downtoearth and ellebud.</p>
<p>I got good news!!! Unexpeectialy good news. I developed a groupd of abnormal cells about a year ago that could have blossomed into leukemia. The blood stabilized and today it went to normal!!! Normal!!! I may need a hysterectomy in the next few weeks, but who cares? I’ll deal with that later. </p>
<p>To all: A safe and healthy weekend. And if you are waiting for results, of any kind, I wish you luck and health.</p>
<p>yes I do circle the wagons but do not go into crisis mode anymore. I know that I am not myself totally, but I try to just carry on. The reality is that none of us really knows. My results will not be available until next week, so I will carry on. In mammogram they tell you that day. Really i just want to focus on my D graduating etc…A day I was not sure i WOULD SEE, yeah! GREAT NEWS Ellebud! You guys should check out the thread in Elizabeth Edwards on Oprah interesting!</p>
<p>My grandmother died at age 51 of “stomach cancer”. It was probably ovarian that spread, but never mind. My mother married VERY late and I was born when most women her age were beginning to look foward to grandchildren. I was young, but I remember my mother was crazed when she was turning 51. Since I was only in junior high her goal was to see me to age 18. Then her goal was to see me graduate college. She got several bonuses: she danced at my wedding and knew her 3 grandchildren.</p>
<p>I wanted to live to see my daughter graduate. And I did. I want to live to see my youngest graduate. And then, I confess to being greedy. I want to live to meet my grandchildren after dancing at my children’s weddings…and then maybe a whole lot more. </p>
<p>Graduation day for me was one of the best days of my life. I wish for all of us that we live to see our great grandchildren graduate from college.</p>
<p>more uncertainty, need a biopsy. I kinda figured, Unfortunately right in the middle of commencement week. I am determined to not let it get me down. (to much)All I have lived for is moments like these and I am going to enjoy it.</p>
<p>downtoearth: I am sorry to hear about everything you are going through. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you deal with the waiting and uncertainty. Congratulations to your daughter on her graduation and I hope you are able to enjoy the commencement.</p>
<p>downtoearth, so sorry to hear this. There’s never a “good time” for these challenges, but darn it all that the timing is so rotten! Hang in there and enjoy the celebration. As you know, so many breast MRI findings end up being benign. Take care.</p>