How to help a friend get on the right track for medical school?

Parents Forum
1

Hi All,

I’m posting this because one of my good friends intends on going to medical school, but I’m worried that he’s not competitive enough to get accepted into a good school. I’d appreciate any advice on how I could help him without meddling and being overbearing since, after all, it is his life and not mine.

Some background info: he’s a rising senior at a top 20 university, biology major with a chemistry minor, has a little over a 3.8 GPA, but is only part of one club that he joined junior year. He’s never job shadowed, interned, or volunteered at a hospital, and he’s actually never had a “real” job before (his family owns a business and he helps them out when they have a lot of work to do).

Essentially, this guy is very smart, resourceful, helpful, and compassionate. He’s come to my rescue numerous times and always knows how to fix a situation and figure something out. I KNOW that he would be a great doctor because he has all these qualities and is very bright, but I’m worried about him getting in since he basically has no extracurricular activities…

He also honestly hates school. He likes learning and he likes medical stuff, but he hates the idea of a humanities education and of spending so much time studying things he hates (history, literature, etc.). He’s good at these things, of course, but he puts a lot of energy into studying for his hard science classes (like orgo, physics, chem, and all of the other things you need for med school) and does very well in them (aced orgo when I’ve heard it’s supposed to be a hard, killer class). Also, I don’t think he talks much to any of his professors, and the only ones he DOES talk to are the graduate assistants.

Sometimes I feel like he’s pressured into going to medical school (his family is upper middle class and has always pushed this idea), but I think he really does want to do it for himself, too. He just hates school so much that he needs to spend any of his free time doing other things to keep his sanity, and while I can empathize, I realize that this is no way to get into medical school (and honestly, I find it a bit strange because even though I have my school-hating moments, I still do what I have to do to build a completive grad school application).

I’m actually applying for PhD programs in the humanities, so I know my path is different than his and my experiences might not exactly be applicable. But, I think the main things he should do right now over the summer is 1.) start volunteering at a hospital, 2.) ask a doctor if he can job shadow, 3.) maybe look into getting a job at some sort of lab in the fall where he can get a little bit of research experience, and 4.) start working on letters of rec. Are these good things to focus on? Is it still even possible to cram all this in?

Also, how can I tell him all this? I don’t want to push (I do have a problem with getting too involved in my friends’ matters), but I don’t want to see him either get into a crappy medical school or not get accepted to any at all just because he didn’t do all of the right things. It slightly frustrates me since I’ve looked at so many forums for grad school and have been proactive in my own path to graduate school, but he and I are different people and I need to accept and understand that.

Thanks so much for reading, and I’d appreciate any help!

2

You sounds more like his parents than his friend. Your concern is well meant but he has to do this for himself. And by the way, there is no such thing as a crappy medical school - if you get in, you are doing fine and will be a doctor. If you don’t get in, you need to decide what matters to you and whether you want to strengthen your application or look elsewhere for your career. If your friend hasn’t invested the time to figure out what’s involved in a medical career, then he just isn’t ready to go.

3

Your friend, if he applies will either get in or not. Senior year is not really much time to suddenly stuff his schedule with activities. If he doesn’t get in, it sounds like he should find a medical related job for a year (assuming he’s seriously interested) and then try again. Life isn’t a race. And it really is your friend’s problem not yours.

4

Mind your beeswax. It’s his life, unless you plan on marrying him and living off his medical career! ( I’m trying to be funny, not mean!)

5

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he’s not competitive enough to get accepted into a good school.


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???

ALL US MD schools are very good…so you don’t have to worry that if he gets into a med school it won’t be a “good school.”

Does he have all of his premed prereqs complete?

Has he taken the MCAT?

If he hates school, how will he manage med school? The first two years are heavy “schooling”…with info coming at you like a fire hose.

6

Thanks for the replies!

Yes, I now realize that med school is med school and that it doesn’t matter where you go. They’re all pretty competitive (right?), so the actual school shouldn’t matter as much.

He has all his prereqs but hasn’t taken the MCAT yet. I don’t even know when you have to apply to med school (I have to apply to my top PhD/MA choices by December to be considered for full funding, so does med school have a similar time line?), but when we talked about it, he didn’t seem too concerned about when to apply.

I know it’s none of my business, but I do care about him and want to see him succeed. I haven’t done any meddling yet (except for casual “so when are your applications due?” and “so what kind of medicine do you want to study?”), but I take it that I probably shouldn’t meddle at all…

It’s just so weird because he was so on top of things when applying to undergrad. I worry that he’s feeling too much pressure from his family and that he feels stuck, even though being a doctor is something he talks so passionately about. He’s always so short when we talk about med school but he’s always so interested when I talk about my grad school, so I just really find this unbalanced and it makes me feel bad that we never talk about his application stuff. I’d like to support him as much as he supports me.

7

The fact that he is short with you is a clear indication that he does not want any guidance from you. Let him find his own way and know that you are a good friend to worry so much about his future. I wish he really knew how lucky he is to have you!

8

Ok…there’s nothing wrong with being a good friend, particularly with this process since it’s complicated.

Here’s basically the timeline…

Your friend needs to immediately line up some medically related ECs…he can ask his family’s doctors if he can shadow, he can volunteer at his local hospitals…he needs clinical experiences (in the wise words of the famous LizzyM…if you can smell the patients, it’s clinical.)

Your friend needs to prepare for the MCAT and take it sometime in the next few months (dates/seats fill up fast, so he needs to register). He’ll get the results back a month later. If it’s good enough and balanced, then that part is taken care of. If his score isn’t good enough, then he’ll have time to test again (but no later than March/April of 2016)

(BTW…what is his home state?).

He may want to take a Kaplan MCAT prep class…they’re pricey, but sounds like his family would pay.

He needs to line up who his recommenders will be. He’ll need them to have them written by early next spring (be sure that he tells them deadline of when they need to be done). I think he’ll need 5 (if I remember correctly)…and I think at least 2 have to be from science profs.

If his undergrad does Committee Letters and Committee Interviews, then he needs to find out how EARLY he can “get in line” for those, and how EARLY he can have the LORs sent to the Committee (important!!!)

He needs to create his app list…all of his instate SOMs (public and private)…and privates that fit his stats. Don’t bother with many/any OOS publics…unless he has a strong tie to that state.

Sometime next winter, he needs to start working on his Personal Statement, and he can look on premed sites to find essay prompts for various med schools and start working on those. Have someone with excellent editing skills proof the essays…have a few sets of eyes read.

The one thing that I can’t stress enough is do everything EARLY EARLY EARLY. Being late-ish is an app season killer.

Then, in Spring AMCAS med school app will open…I think it opens around May 1. (AMCAS is somewhat similar to the Common App…it’s the one app that is used to apply to all MD schools). Then the student can submit around June 1st. SUBMIT AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE!!! I don’t care that it says a fall deadline…anyone who submits then is dead meat. Seriously, get that app in by June. The SOMs have a limited number of interview spots and they fill them quickly. They only hold a few open for super hooked applicants who apply late.

After the HUGE app is submitted, transcripts and scores sent, then AMCAS verifies the app…this takes 30-60 days…another reason to submit EARLY!!!

In the meantime, if the undergrad does Committee Letters, the LORs get sent to the Committee and the student will be scheduled for a Committee Interview and then they will write the Letter which will go to AMCAS.

If the undergrad does not do CLs then the LORs will get sent to AMCAS.

After verification, the med schools on the app list will get sent the student’s app, and then Secondaries go out. Each Secondary has more questions and essay prompts. Get those turned-around asap.

Then wait for II’s (interview invites).

After interviews, wait for decisions.

I’m sure I’ve left some stuff out. It’s been 3 years since my son went thru this, so brain can get foggy. lol

Others will chime in with more info or corrections.

9

Mom2. I think the OP said the friend is a rising senior. I don’t see how he can get any of this done. He is a year behind your timeline.

10

^^Combine with gap year for medical volunteering and research?

11

@surfcity He’s not behind. many kids do Glide Years. Not all begin med school right after graduation.

12

Oh! The term is ‘glide’ year?

13

Mom2collegekids, thanks so much for the thorough response!!! That’s definitely helpful, but as it was noted, he’s a rising senior, so I don’t know if he can pull this off so quickly.

I know his intention was to go right after undergrad (home state is Michigan), but if he were to have to wait a few years, he’d still have to take the MCAT, secure the letters of rec, write the personal statement, and gain some sort of experience in the short term, right? The gap year could be working in some kind of medical field or doing some kind of medical research?

I actually offered in the past to be his proof reader for everything (I study writing), so if anything, at least that can be my contribution!

I think I’m going to retouch upon this issue with him after a month or so and get a feel with where he’s at and what he wants to do (in the most sensitive way possible)

14

Now that the OP knows how to get into medical school for herself, I still suggest that she mind her own business. He is getting enough pressure from his parents. I would back off. I have a friend who tries to give me unsolicited advice all the time. I find it so annoying, and she has lost a lot of friends because she is always trying to put her nose where it doesn’t belong. If you were in medical school, you would have more standing to give advice. But you are not, leave it alone.

15

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Mom2collegekids, thanks so much for the thorough response!!! That’s definitely helpful, but as it was noted, he’s a rising senior, so I don’t know if he can pull this off so quickly.


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Nothing I wrote is incompatible with being a rising senior. Do you understand that the timeline I wrote out would be for the next 18+ months?

The timeline I wrote works well with someone doing a Glide Year.


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know his intention was to go right after undergrad (home state is Michigan)

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well, that ain’t happenin’

He doesn’t need to wait a few years, he only has to delay one year if he starts NOW.

Oh good, Mich has a few MD schools, plus he’ll apply to various privates. He’ll need a sensible list once he knows his MCAT scores.

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The gap year could be working in some kind of medical field or doing some kind of medical research?


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Well…yes, but that’s too late. The app would go in before that, so he needs the ECs before that to write them down on his app. He needs to start this summer doing shadowing, volunteering, etc.

16

I suspect that if he is a rising senior and has not taken the MCAT yet, then he does not want to go to medical school in fall 2016. And he is doing this consciously or subconsciously. So if you were to be a busybody in his business, ask him about that, and then point out that subconsciously he does not want to go to med school, well, at least for 2016. You should definitely lay off about all of the other stuff because that is putting the cart before the horse. I do think that med school applications are turned in during June (only 13 days away) for fall 2016.

It will be just fine to do clinical work or research or a masters of public health or something after his senior year. Or do something other than medicine.

17

Not to be critical but: Why is it so important for you to “retouch”? I don’t understand why it is your job to keep him in line. Isn’t he an adult?

18

@OP, if your “friend” doesn’t have the initiative to keep him/herself on track, then I wonder about the suitability of medicine as a career choice…

19

If this is not a sibling or a significant other, I would back off.

If it is either of those:

His college pre-med office may have a timeline of applying in writing, starting all the way from freshman year. You can find that and send that over.

The good news is he is in excellent shape due to his GPA. In addition to the things already recommended, I have seen admissions people to be really gung-ho about medical scribing.

Clinical exposure is truly necessary, and everything else is gravy. On the other hand, he could do research and try to get published to increase his chances at the most selective of medical schools. If he is upper middle class and can do it without pay, he will have even more gap year options. He will have to fit in shadowing in top of that, though.

My guess is that he is just nervous about his chances, so doesn’t want to research and find out he is doomed. He is not doomed in the least.

20

Thanks again, everyone!

I know it’s really not any of my business, and that’s why I haven’t really gotten involved (except for a few general conversations). I absolutely understand how annoying it can be to have someone hovering over your shoulder and giving you advice left and right, so that’s why I’m treading this carefully and am trying to find ways to support him without being overbearing. When the time comes where he DOES apply, I’d like to be able to help him since he’s been helping me as I work on graduate school applications.

Since he has been putting things off, I do wonder if he plans on attending later. That would of course be fine and all, but wouldn’t you still want to show some medical involvement in undergrad? So, if the plan is to apply 3 or 4 years down the road, doing research and clinicals during senior year wouldn’t be too late, right?