A friend I’ve known for about a decade who works at a nonprofit I volunteer at has had a tough year. Her boss who was admired internationally for his great work died a year ago, after being in a coma for a year.
A foster grandmother whom she and her preschool daughter were close to died a few months ago. Her dad died about a year ago.
This month, her daughter’s buddy and cousin who was just 4-years old died suddenly.
I really feel for this young working mom, her daughter and husband. Any thoughts on how to help, be supportive, or anything? I believe the mom of the buddy is my friend’s sister. I live about 5000 miles away.
Thanks for any thoughts and help. Our kids didn’t have to deal with deaths of young people—mostly folks in their 70s and older.
Is it possible for her to visit you? Maybe not immediately, but with some planning. You could say “You have had a really tough year and I’d love for you to come visit and just relax.” If she can do that, you’d of course be spending time with her and showing her all around Hawaii.
@HImom – how kind of you. I think “I’m thinking about you” cards are a such wonderful way to show you care.
Just an idea – a woman at my son’s church was recently diagnosed with cancer. Her daughters are six and two years old. I can’t begin to imagine the anxiety and/or physical weariness she must be feeling while still wanting to be the best mom ever. While I don’t know her, I sent her a package of small gifts/activity sets for her to give to her girls at times when they may need a day brightener or the world seems chaotic or when she wants to enjoy doing an activity with them. I wanted to help her be the mom she may not be able to be right now. Perhaps, you could send something to this mom for use now or to keep in reserve while navigating these rough times.
I have experienced lots of deaths in a short period of time. My reaction was to treat others with kindness, patience and respect. My home is decorated mostly with crosses. Food became more important than money. I wish that I had spent more time at the beach. I spoil my dogs. I have always spoiled my dogs–I just do it more now.
Your friend probably would appreciate a kind word or thought.
After several family crises the past few years (deaths and serious illnesses), I can say we really appreciated cards, small gifts, and gift cards for restaurants. Just knowing that people were thinking of us meant so much. I had gotten close to my CC friends who had kids the same age, and they banded together to send me thoughtful gifts for several months after my son’s mental illness diagnosis. I will never forget that.
In my opinion there is no lonelier feeling than to feel like people have forgotten you. Just a quick simple text or email goes a long way as it lets the other person know that you remember them and their situation.
I have just bought enough little gifts for their D to fill a medium size express mail package and a large express mail package. I’m just awaiting her personal mail address–or perhaps I ought to send it to her office so it doesn’t get stolen on her doorstep. I’m pleased with the little surprises and wrapped them so she can give them individually to her little girl or however she chooses.
I likely won’t see her until May, but will see if she and I could carve out some time so I could take her out to a nice meal when we are both at the same event.
Happy news—they received the 1st box and enjoyed it. They sent me an e-photo of a balloon dog they made from the balloons and book I sent. Put the 2nd box in the mail today.
