What is the purpose of this dinner?
Why don’t you begin by ordering a red and a white, tell the waiter you want X bottles of each, and XX appetizers for the table. You could inform the upfront of this, and then let guests choose entrees. You could even choose one desert.
Will you be in a private room, or at tables in the restaurant? If in a private dining room, perhaps,the appetizers could be put out while folks mingle…before they are seated.
I’ve been to many psychopharmacology meetings at restaurants. Every person is given a menu with 3 choices. Red and white wine, and soft drinks offered. Vegetables and sides served family style. Desserts are often mini’s on a plate, though can be an item on the menu.
We’ve had family meals at Maggionis several time, where everything served family style. The host chooses the menu in advance. We can make arrangements at our local restaurant for a dinner to be held in another city.
Hosting a dinner for 20 at a restaurant and keeping costs down seem like an oxymoron to me. Whenever we took friends out to dinner, we knew about how many drinks would be ordered, or how many bottles of wine it would take. It sounds like you are hosting a group that you think might take advantage of the fact you are paying the bill. I wouldn’t like that.
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Good point. If I was looking to manage costs I would throw the dinner party at home.
If I attended a dinner party at a restaurant, I would appreciate a hand-selected menu of the host’s limited pics, since I am overwhelmed by too many choices. I hate thumbing through an entire book. A personalized menu mentioning the reason for the party would be a fun souvenir to remember the event. Plus, you gain some control over the timing of having to get 20 people to read an entire menu and make a decision while also chatting and carrying on conversation with the other guests.
I appreciate when thought is put into something. Anyone can pay the bill for a dinner party, but to add personal touches like choosing the wines, pairing up with a few meals, choosing appetizers to share around, a special dessert plate to pass, etc. It makes it seem more of a personalized event. As if you worked with a caterer to decide on the menu if you were hosting the event in your home or at a special venue.
Allow for one vegetarian choice, then you can have sides passed family style if you want.
Sounds like a fun evening, good luck!
Order the wine yourself or bring it yourself. Almost always the bar tab is what gets you in trouble. It’s pretty hard to eat $100 worth of food but not so hard to drink $100 worth of wine
Special menu. As rockvillemom suggested, you can even print one that looks “special”. DH and I did this when she was organizing her Sweethearts Ball dinner for their group of 20. We met with the owner of the restaurant and ask her to put together a menu for under $25 a person. (I think she gave us a break because they were high schoolers, too.) It included a choice of 4 entrees, 3 salads and two desserts and choice of non alc drink. Oh, she also gave then appetizers! I agree with other posters that alcohol will bump up the price.
DH just hosted a 20 person dinner party at a restaurant to honor a retiring key staff member for an organization he heads. He worked with the restaurant and they came up with a pre-selected menu that offered several choices for appetizer, main course and dessert. They pre-ordered bottles of wine to be served. None of the attendees complained or asked to be served a cocktail instead of the wine. I think this is common and people are not surprised by this. On the other hand we have been guests at large dinner parties in restaurants where people do order from the menu and from the bar despite bottles of wine being ordered.
We have hosted a few large dinners and always worked with the restaurants on the menu offerings ahead of time. We usually pre-select appetizer assortment platters to be served as the guests are seated and a salad, then offer several entree and dessert choices. We work with the sommelier to select wines (one white, one red, one sparkling, if toasting) that complement the menu and are in our price point. It’s fine to pick inexpensive bottles. Decide if you will offer specialty coffees or after dinner drinks ahead of time. The restaurants can print personalized menus with your selections and without prices.
I think pre-selecting the menu takes all the pressure off everyone and makes for a more relaxing dinner. You will have a good idea of the projected cost and the guests won’t feel torn about what to order with you footing the bill. Enjoy!
I got such a fantastic deal on our rehearsal dinner by taking everyone to one of the nicest places in Chinatown. Elaborate 10-course banquet for $20 a head (without alcohol). I’d recommend it to anyone.
Do they have family-style service, where several dishes are brought to the table and diners serve themselves? Some Asian or Italian restaurants do.
This is the equivalent of a preselected menu, but it doesn’t feel like it. People like being able to have a little of several different things instead of one entree.
Also, can you limit the alcohol?
Thank you so much for your suggestions. It was really helpful! I will report back after the event and let you know how it turned out.
Did you go with the preselected menu?
When I’ve hosted dinners at restaurants I’ve always had pre-selected menu, red and wine to be served, and no cocktail drinks. I think it was easier for the guests also because they didn’t have to feel like they needed to order cheapest item on the menu. Most restaurants would also only do pre-selected menu for such a large party.
Yes, when we’ve hosted groups of 20 or more, generally, the restaurant limits entrees to 2 or 3 (sometimes requiring the guests choose the entrees before the date). I have gotten restaurants to give us all inclusive prices, with a soup or salad, main course, dessert and glass of wine. It has worked out fine and no surprises on the bill.
What?!?!? No hint about what you’re going to do? :((
We have picked four entrees which will come with soup or salad, and bread. There will be carafes of two or three wines on the table. Sodas, coffee, and tea will be available and will be self-serve. For dessert, we have selected two different cakes. Sound good?
Excellent plan!