<p>L2B - First off, I have to say that Cal Poly SLO is such a great choice! And add to that, that the one thing that makes it doable, is seeing how happy they are! When my son left, we gave him a digital camera & that has turned out to be such a blessing for us! He shares his photos (of the school & his friends & his favorite things) and it’s pretty cool! I have learned (and it takes beaucoup de patience!) that it’s best when they call you! But that may take a few months… and is much more likely to happen if you’re not always calling them! </p>
<p>One other thought, last year @CC, lots of great ideas were posted on monthly or bimonthly gift boxes to send. A sewing kit, a first aide kit, can’t live w/out it kit, etc. Big Hit! Maybe someone knows how to bring that post back?</p>
<p>I’ve also learned to take time for me; I’m actually reading more than one book a month, and working in the garden is becoming fun - who would of thunk it!</p>
<p>we just thought researching the list, the 12 college visits in 1 week, and the waiting for acceptances was the hardest part! I have been trying to prepare myself for son #3’s departure for this entire school year. Hasn’t worked - maybe with support from other parents like this, I can begin to adjust to the reality.</p>
<p>For son #2, on the way in the door to the final parent meeting at Colorado College we were presented with packets of tissues labeled ‘for the ride home’ - my husband joked that we would be throwing confetti instead, so I really appreciate coronax2’s comments about soiling the nest. However, at the end, even after son #2’s horrible behavior, it was clear that the angst was caused by fear - “what if no one here likes me - what if I have no one to eat dinner with?”. Mothers (and Fathers) melt at comments like these.</p>
<p>So, no, it won’t be easy - but if we all support each other and let the tears fall a little bit at a time, maybe we won’t drown as we drive away from parent orientation in August!</p>
<p>I think if someone handed me a box of kleenex that said “for the ride home” I’d lose it for sure right there on the spot! Ha! Ha! This whole thing is such a process. I’m sure it is good for all of us, but it is painful. I’ve decided for me, that I need to accept the fact that I’m going to be sad and miss him so much. That is natural and I am glad that he is strong enough for this big step. That’s what this “job” is all about. Raising good human beings who will eventually stand on their own and hopefully make a difference. My biggest beef is that it went so darn fast. I have really appreciated all the support on this board. I feel grateful to have a place to sound off. Thank you.</p>
<p>I’ve been reading these “letting go” type threads and thinking that it’ll be sad, but he’s ready go, and I’m ready to let go. Then he brought home his cap and gown and graduation announcements. Suddenly, I’m not so sure of myself. I got all teary eyed (okay, I cried over his '06 tassle), and wanted him back as my little boy who was going to with me forever. The years have flown by too quickly.</p>
<p>When my first got accepted to college, I phoned a bed and breakfast near the school to make reservations for orientation week. In explaining the rates, breakfast and all, the proprietor commented that on the first day the students report to campus, she serves an early breakfast, and that the kids generally don’t eat much. At that point, to my surprise, I broke down in tears.</p>
<p>Welcome to the board, learning. We’ll be sending our one and only off to college this fall. Although we are excited for her, we also are also a bit sad for us. She keeps us laughing and is just so much fun to be around. She attended Girls State and Governor’s School for six weeks last summer and I hope that we can remember from it that we will survive. The first few days were miserable, no doubt, but we decided she was having fun and we should, too, so we did. It doesn’t help that she hasn’t yet decided on which college she’ll be attending. Although we would probably prefer to see her at the school that is half as far, we know the decision must be left up to her. She brought home her cap and gown the other day and it really hit me that she will be graduating in just a few short weeks. I wish I could say I won’t cry, but I’m welling up as I type this.</p>
<p>We already booked our hotel room for the weekend we drop our son off in the fall. SLO is so expensive. I am sure it’s because there are not alot of choices. My husband, the thrifty one, says," Hey Honey, here’s a great deal at the Motel 6 !" I looked at him and said, " Are you sure you want to do that? We are going to drop our first born off at college. I’m going to be crying, our daughter is going to be crying and you want to top it all off with a cheap motel room?" Ha! Ha! needless to say, my husband booked the room at a beautiful Lodge/Spa. Smart Man!!!</p>
<p>Fast forward: I already have a note in my appointment book to make a reservation for the hotel room for Family Weekend for her senior year…of college. That reservation will be made later this year. Ulp.</p>
<p>I do recommend that you make your reservations, wherever your offspring is going, for orientation and move-in just as soon as the decision is final. At some colleges, the close/convenient/relatively inexpensive rooms fill up fast.</p>
<p>oh well- we never really made it to family weekend- sister has soccer games on the weekend in the fall
I also had big plans to stay at a “nice” hotel for graduation-
we are staying at the “travelodge”
decided the money we save can be used to help set up housekeeping.</p>
<p>Learningtobalance,I was also quite anxious about my older son leaving home this last fall. He was an ideal teenager during high school, and we always enjoyed his company. My biggest concern when we left him at school was how he would adapt socially – he had always been on the quiet side, and I wasn’t sure how that would work for him in college. Within a week he was happily involved in classes and social activities, and his happiness made it easier for me. When he’s been home on breaks, it is still great to see him, but he has grown up in many ways. He is more independent, and less likely to just do what we want him to. In that sense, it’s almost easier when he’s at school – his energy is focused on activities and classes, whereas he seems to be a little restless at home. So we look forward to having him home for summer, but I hope he’ll be busy with a job!</p>
<p>I thought I had let go. Yesterday we were in Asheville having lunch and a young man walked into the restaurant. He could have been my son’s double from the front. I burst into tears.</p>
<p>You know, I wasn’t reading this thread, since it’s been two years since I sent the youngest off, and overall I think the adjustment, though difficult at times, has been really good, as long as I know they’re happy.</p>
<p>But then I read this, and y’all made me tear up at work. Thanks a lot!</p>
<p>Special message to DrDRewsmom: I was there with you. it wasn’t easy, was it? Both families were very supportive, but it sure did change my life around in ways I hadn’t planned for at that age. But then I look at my beautiful, funny, smart, accomplished D, two years out of college and independent, and I know it was all so worth it.</p>
<p>No, it was not easy, but it’s something I am so glad turned out the way it did. I ended up marrying the dad, so I feel like I had it easier than some girls (and we are still together). And we’ve had other children. But that first one was so different and I had to listen to so many negative comments, even though the people spouting them may have had good intentions. </p>
<p>Plus it’s fun being a young mom (I mean now…not so much back then!). I remember when I met soozievt in person and it didn’t take long for her to wonder how old I was. I felt flattered, but really, I think I look my age. I am just young to have a kid going off to college this fall!</p>
<p>S1 is now a junior in college, so I have a little distance on the letting-go. We had such a rocky time senior year, with college apps, falling grades, me being insane about getting the college stuff done, that I have to admit I breathed a sigh of reliefe when I dropped him off at school. But that night, I pretty much cried for hours–running a mental movie of his toddlerhood, childhood, adolescence. The first few months of dinner for 3, no loud guitar, no worrying until he came home weekend nights, was really hard. But I’m here to tell you that, 3 years down the road, he and I have the best relationship we’ve ever had. I am absolutely adoring him now that he’s more or less off on his own. Our conversations are fun, meaningful, interesting, and affectionate. I’m thrilled when he’s home and and just as thrilled when he drives off back to school:) </p>
<p>Now I’m gearing up to let go of the ‘baby,’ who’s a junior in high school. I know it’ll be wrenching, I know we have a hard year ahead with the college stuff, but I’m going to believe that, when the dust clears, the letting-go will bring us to a new and different kind of closeness, the way it has with his brother.</p>
<p>This <em>is</em> a sweet thread, as SBMom said. I am not one to feel bereft, but I did keep his hs cap and cord hanging from a drawer handle in my room for many weeks beyond his leave-taking. I liked the reminder.</p>
<p>I second the IM suggestions. DS is decidedly not a communicator; cell phone calls to him are likely to yield only monosyllables. Just signing on to AIM and finding him there is a comfort; he will chat a little; puts a friend on some times (<em>much</em> more informative ). Unexpected bonus: his Away messages are more chatty than he is, often clever, sometimes poetic and give me a glimpse into his daily life.</p>
<p>Tonight, DH arrives in New Orleans to take S and friend(s) out to dinner. I’m not even envious, just thrilled for H. He will take pictures with his camera phone. Originally, I thought I’d wait to see them until DH arrives back home (who wants to donate an extra nickel to Cingular when there are college tuitions to be paid? :rolleyes: ). But I just called S and told him to teach Dad how to send me the photos right away. I can’t wait!</p>
<p>I haven’t read this entire thread, but keep in mind that college only takes up seven and a half months each year. We get our kids back for four and a half months each year. A long summer and generally a long Christmas break. And counting the visits to see them at their colleges, it’s really not so bad.</p>
I have really appreciated all the support on this board. I feel grateful to have a place to sound off. Thank you.</p>