Speaking of hair. My hubby cuts his own hair and helps to color mine. So no cost for hairsalon for us.
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I’m going to be a little contrary here. The best time to be frugal is before your kids get to college. We paid off every bit of loans we had…so our cash flow would be better.
Honestly, I was not going to scrimp because I had kids in college.
Yes, we were careful spenders and had some savings as I put above, but we didn’t cut back on everything we enjoyed doing.
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I didn’t mention anything about hair, but ok…
Agree to disagree on Costco - some will agree with you, some with me.
As long as you can exercise avoiding unnecessary purchases (like any grocery store) you can def save $ overall on dairy, produce, meat and canned staples. Especially if you still have a family at home.
I think pairing Costco with Aldi as a second stop (don’t most of us frequent more than one food store anyway?) you’ll do pretty well with your food budget.
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But his daughter is there - no time to go backwards! And sometimes even with penny pinching ahead of time budgets can still be tight or tighter when college comes into play.
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That is actually exactly what we do. Running to Costco only once a month. Put everything in a deep freezer. Then Aldi…
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That’s true. I think I would make a priority list of things. I would try to do something that costs money because I like to do it…maybe just not everything.
I guess the biggest thing to do is think before you spend.
One thing that we did that really helped us was being able to pay the kids’ tuitions/expenses on installment, monthly instead of all at one time in a huge lump sum. The charge for doing this was minimal—maybe $10 more.
We always prioritized paying the essentials 1st and pretty much cut out dining out. H brought sandwiches for lunch. If we wanted a splurge, we would very rarely go and order takeout and make sure it served us for 2x as long as it was supposed to—2 takeout meals for 4 meals instead of just two. There are a ton of free and low cost ways to enjoy the city—we did a lot of those. We cut down to basic TV—NO cable.
We also only borrowed books from the library—no book purchases. When buying from Costco, we would divide things into portions which were meal-sized and freeze them for later use instead of huge sizes. Freezer paper, tape and sharpie markers are your friend—date and label clearly, so you know what’s in the freezer.
Our kids’ college didn’t charge extra for using the CCard to charge the tuition, so we charged tuition & fees (as long as we could pay it in full by due date). We received cash back rebates for all our charges. We made sure we never had to pay any late penalties or interest.
Shopping at thrift stores and Savers is also a great bargain. Our neighbors purchased nearly all their kids’ clothing there. I repair my garments and have them last for decades (literally).
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There are certainly changes in our lifestyle and spending when we now have our “empty nest” and a private school tuition to contribute to, but I think kids should be frugal as well.
Get your student use a budget app and encourage them to get a job they can handle, even just several hours a week will help and put things in perspective for them - there are tutoring, research, TA, concert hall usher, library clerk and other hourly job opportunities on campus and beyond.
Call your insurance company and ask for “Student Away” discount if your kid does not have a car on campus - it can shave anywhere from $600 to over a $1,000 a year from your car insurance policy.
Sell their textbooks they no longer need, some of those books cost hundreds of dollars, even when they are sold used.
Their bodies and minds are changing - sell their clothes they no longer like, need or fit into.
Sell their music instruments they no longer use, or sport equipment.
Get them apply for paid summer internships and summer jobs.
Also, it is OK (gasp!) to skip Family Days on campus or travel to visit your kid during less busy and less expensive time.
Simply talking about money with your young adults helps. Although it is a taboo topic in many cultures and many countries, including the United States. Seems so much healthier and caring to discuss things with your family members in the open.
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My S sold his textbooks and any friends who wanted to dispose of their textbooks. He would be given a portion of the proceeds for the sales of their books and always made a profit on the sales of his books. Never had to pay for his books after the 1st term. He handled it.
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Each family member can figure out how to stretch the family dollar on their own terms and help the bottom line. Sounds like the OP and his wife are already discussing budget optimization - and his kid can see what she can do.
The daughter’s current year expenses might be fixed (tuition, room, board, fees, etc.).
Two things: on campus there are generally opportunities she can participate in that are funded. Clubs, events, conferences - have her research ways to attend in an affordable manner. Departments will also have information on scholarships for current students. Have her student status help with any subscriptions to libraries, entertainment, resources, stores, services, etc. she would be using. Student discounts are real and helpful.
(Wrote this as @RussianMom did - great minds think alike!)
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Oh yes, S formed a university school club and had his club apply for student grants to get supplies for the club. It was a rock climbing club. He loved it!
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I made fun of H and older S, but they had the last laugh. When we were moving him out of the dorm freshman year, H was appalled at all the textbooks in the dumpster pile. He and older S pulled them out of the dumpster and took them to the bookstore. Didn’t get much per book, but it wound up being $200-300!
I feel like I’ve answered this question not long ago. You have to prioritize what is important to you and what’s not. I won’t give up my $150/yr gym membership, but I don’t drink alcohol.
And being a fashion don’t helps immensely. If I was destined to be in a fashion model magazine, I think it would have happened by now. So I don’t worry about it. I’m finally turning over the last of my old work pants - the ones I bought for $8 when older S was born. He’s 26. I keep my few pairs of shoes a good 2-3 years before getting a replacement. (See closet thread for how few shoes I own)
We’ve never eaten lunch out and don’t get fancy coffees. We do eat out fast food once/week and eat out once/week but those dinners are almost always <$50 and often in the $30-35 range. No alcohol helps a lot, as well as buying from the cheaper parts of the menu.
I keep everything as long as possible. If it works, great. If not, patch it or modify life so you can make do with what you’ve already got.
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S also became excellent at buying (& reselling) items on facebook marketplace and ebay for furnishings, as well as picking up things on the curb. He would sometimes supplement with a few items from IKEA. It made furnishing his place quite reasonable. When we were in town, we would take him and his friends for a Costco run and buy them whatever they were short of. We also bought some school supplies on sale locally as well as initial bedding and helped bring them up for him to use in his dorm.
After freshmen year, he was able to get a job on campus in his department, engineering. D was also able to talk her way into a job when she got to campus.
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Call insurance companies and get quotes for home, auto, etc. I switched a couple years ago and we saved about $3000/year!
Go through your credit card and make sure there aren’t any subscriptions that you forgot about. Maybe a free trial that wasn’t canceled and is now $20/month or something.
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We don’t eat out more than maybe one or twice a year. That’s usually a result of circumstances, not intent. We pack lunch for work, generally leftovers but not always.
I cut what’s left of DH’s hair, and get my uncomplicated cut about 3x a year at an inexpensive place.
We don’t fly, and our trips are to family. No resorts, Europe, etc.
I buy clothes rarely, we are trying to use the library more, and we don’t have cable, just two streaming services. We’d cut our landline but our mothers rely on it (long weird story)
Anything we can still do ourselves, we do. No cleaning service, meal prep service, lawn people, handyman.
None of this reflects a particular virtue — we struggled maybe the whole first 15 years we were married and the habits developed out of necessity. That, and I was raised by Yankees. Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or go without…
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Also remember that this time is temporary. That there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Economize now so you can live later.
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We lived like paupers when our son was in boarding school doing most of the things listed above. Others in our boat liked to joke they were reduced to “rice and beans.” I said we were reduced to “rice OR beans.” We stripped out everything – no subscriptions, eating out, store-bought coffee or treats, services, new clothes, retirement saving, etc. Like @greenbutton, a lot of this was pretty normal for us anyway, but we really were living stringently. Also agree, not a virtue, just necessary adjustments.
And, of course, it was temporary. When our son chose a “free” college and the boarding school bills went away, life went back to normal.
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Yes, although I would say that the frugal living can be really good living. Shopping at Aldi is fun. Likewise thrift store shopping/estate sale shopping. Likewise the library; it’s like a free bookstore. Camping is amazing and staying at hostels is a hoot. And fixing your dryer from a Youtube video leaves you feeling like a genius for the next 3 days.
Compared to the standard of living throughout human history, all this frugal living is living like a king.
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So many great ideas here! I stress about the monthly fees that add up, so this is what I’ve done – (1) when we’ve added a streaming service in order to see a particular show/event etc., we then immediately cancel it for the end of that first month cycle so it doesn’t auto renew and we keep paying. (2) calendar when annual online subscriptions are set to renew, and then go through steps to cancel which typically prompts a one year drastically reduced price. (3) borrow ebooks from public library. (4) check with cell phone provider customer service about discounts, there’s often an employer discount, a teacher discount etc. available. (5) I realized I could replicate my gym regimen at home so cancelled my membership, though that may not work for folks who are more serious lifters or need more specialized cardio equipment.
Finally, we did save money when we were no longer feeding a ravenous teenager, driving all over kingdom-come for their ECs etc.
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I think I am probably more frugal now than when kids were home/college. I just remember I was so busy with work and taking care of them that it was easier/faster for me to pay rather than to save (I wasn’t going to stay on a phone for 30 min to get $50 back).
Now through some research and effort I am able to cut my internet cost to $15 and streaming service to $75. I decided to give up my car after 35 years of owning multiple cars. I rent or uber when I need a car.
As someone mentioned, this is a temporary situation. I would try to enjoy the time - spend money to go to your kid’s college activities, take him/her on family vacations. Time passes by so fast.
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