How to make friends with American students?

College Confidential Community
1

I am an undergrad international student from India, attending college in America. It’s been a few weeks since college started, yet I don’t have any American friends. My only group of friends consists of fellow international students (mainly Indian, a few Chinese, and a couple Koreans).
Long story short, the main reason why my parents were ready to pay 60k+ to attend college in the U.S. for undergrad education was so that I could make friends with different races. I hope to travel a lot after I start earning, so being able to click with people from other countries or races is a good skill to have. In fact, my parents had warned me before I left for U.S. that they would not pay for my U.S.A. education next year if I didn’t befriend Black, White, and other race Americans.

Here in India, honoring wishes of parents is very important. I have tried to socialize with Whites and Blacks at the dining hall and playing fields, but they do not seem very interested in being friends with me. It cannot be my English as I have always scored 100 marks on almost all my English exams, and 90+ marks on the oral exams. I watch a lot of American movies, and have read American novels. I do have a heavy accent, but not too thick.
Could it be my interests? I am a somewhat reticent and nerdy fellow, as I am very much into watching cartoons, playing video games, and watching sci-fi movies. This is very dissimilar to American students, who like sports, music, and parties.

I am very puny and weak, so sports clubs on campus is not an option for me. I don’t really understand American music lyrics, so I don’t listen to it much. Although jazz music is appealing to my ears… I wouldn’t mind attending a few parties though, as long no alcohol is served.

I honestly don’t know what to do, or what I am doing wrong. My relatives back home suggested that I speak to a therapist so that I can learn techniques to make White and Black friends. Should I do that? Don’t get me wrong, I very much like my fellow international student friends, but I would also like to be friends with Americans.

2

Remember that everyone is trying to get to know other people, so do not be shy about starting conversations. Remember to listen as well as talk, and be interested in learning where they are from, what classes they are taking, what they might major in, etc. Go to every social event and talk to people. Hang out in your dorm’s common room. Walk down your hall and see which other students would like to join you at meal times. Join a club or music group or intramural sport or some other group that does an activity you especially enjoy.

Is there a club that plays video games or is into sci fi? Whether there is a formal club for this or not, plenty of Americans enjoy video games and sci fi! You will find your niche.

You do not have to drink alcohol to attend a party where it is served. No one will care if you are drinking water or soda when they are drinking beer. And you may be surprised at how many other people also do not drink.

And yes, there is no harm in speaking with a therapist/counselor at your college to get advice and to role play interactions. Maybe it might be helpful to you. Counselors at colleges are used to helping new students make friends.

3

Your parents have good intentions but tying payment for college to making friends seems a bit harsh. It takes time to make friends. Try looking for students who were born in the U.S. to Indian parents. They could be your link to other Americans. There are plenty of nerdy American students.