<p>My D2 is upset because we don’t seem to be making graduation special enough for her. We just found out that my parents will be unable to attend her graduation this weekend because Nana unexpectedly is in the hospital (hip replacement problem). D1 is still studying abroad and won’t be back in time. So no one else from our family will be able to attend. </p>
<p>Any suggestions on how to make the day more special and the days leading up to graduation more special?</p>
<p>I’m a bit confused. Your mom (or MIL) is in the hospital, and your daughter is upset because this is making her graduation less special? I can understand being disappointed, but surely she understands that this is beyond any one’s control.<br>
I would think that there will be many opportunities to celebrate with her classmates. I remember the weeks leading up to HS graduation for both my kids seemed like a whirlwind of activity with parties, grad practices, prom, and the traditional graduation night put on by the school (actually, parents of the school but school sanctioned.)
Doesn’t your daughter’s hs have these kinds of activities for their grads? I remember mine being so busy, they hardly had time for family and had to squeeze us in for dinner before they took off to the grad night event.<br>
If your kid’s school doesn’t do these things, maybe she could have a graduation gathering with just her closest friends to celebrate at home, or they could plan an evening out. Ask her what would make it seem special to her.</p>
<p>School has been over for about 2 weeks. It’s a commuter school so no neighborhood parties. Other friends have family coming to town for the big day. There are some graduation activities but not many and they aren’t highly attended because of the distance kids travel to school. Of course, she doesn’t “blame” her grandmother for being ill but is understandably disappointed that only DH and I will be her cheering section.</p>
<p>Is this HS or college? I presume HS and understand why she is upset. HS graduation is a rite of passage and traditionally all sorts of relatives attend. It is hard when everyone else has a lot of “hoopla” and she doesn’t get any extra attention. Her older sister undoubtably had more people aqnd excitement surrounding her graduation, she wants the same. It is a bummer being younger- I remember attending my older sister’s but having her gone for mine (HS or college?). I can’t believe her school waited for 2 weeks after school was out, by then it is ancient history.</p>
<p>Maybe the family could have a celebration for your younger girl when her sister gets home and her grandma is out of the hospital. A special dinner at home or a favorite restaurant with the extended family, with gifts and wishes saved for that event might make it seem like a more memorable occasion.</p>
<p>Our DD just graduated in the Bay Area. We flew in along with her BF, did a nice dinner, BARTed to the city one day and ate at the Pier and walked around, did a take out dinner from a place she loves and watched the Lakers, did a morning grad ceremony, lunch at a place she loves, and flew out.</p>
<p>She got to eat at all her old favourites and we had a fun time. DD was happy, no grandparents, they no longer travel, no siblings, they are in school elsewhere.</p>
<p>Are there just some fun memorable places where you could spend some one on one times together?</p>
<p>I’m with Wis75 – she is understandably feeling a little down if it looks like everyone else gets the hoopla and she doesn’t. She gets it intellectually, but emotionally she is feeling a bit abandoned. My suggestion would be to let her know that her cheering section may be small in number but hugh in pride. The trick is how to do that and that’s where I think the OP is asking for suggestions.</p>
<p>We live in a community where most people live within shouting distance of their entire extended families, so things like graduation parties are hugh, with lots of relatives all over the place. Our son had just us, his younger brother, and one grandma who flew in, but is confined to a wheelchair. Hardly the big hoopla his friends seemed to have- so I understand what the OP is saying.</p>
<p>One thing we did to show our pride was I went to the fabric store, bought a couple yards of bright colored fabrics (about half a yard each of five different colors), split the fabric in half diagonally to make long pennents and then I tacked them to long bamboo poles from the garden center. Graduation morning I put them all along the driveway and across the front of the house. It looked festive and made us all feel festive. The whole thing cost me about $10 and took a couple of hours.</p>
<p>Perhaps if the grandparents are nearby, you or your husband could take a lot of photos at graduation, and then your daughter could visit them and share the photos and her graduation stories. This could be delayed until her grandmother is feeling better if she is not well enough at the moment to enjoy visitors.</p>
<p>I would think that the grandparents (who are probably bored anyway because of the restrictions placed on their lives because of the grandmother’s hip problem) would enjoy hearing all about it and would make a suitable fuss over your daughter.</p>
<p>It sounds like this is HS graduation…our situation is similar. Younger DD is graduating. No family but DH and I. Brother is too far away to come for graduation.<br>
After the ceremony we will go out to a “her” choice dinner and then the school has a party (thank goodness).
One thing that we do around here that might be fun is decorating the kids cars. Get some paint made for car windows. Decorate with the colors of the college she is going to, or just writing Congratulations on her car.<br>
I did this for DD’s 18th birthday. She pretended to be embarrassed but I think she enjoyed it. All day everyone she saw or parked near told her Happy Birthday…</p>
<p>I understand too. We have a similar kind of situation, aggravated by son and step-daughter graduating a week apart, with son having very few family to support him and step-daughter having tons of family from both dad and mom’s sides.</p>
<p>For S, we are hosting a dinner after graduation at a restaurant near the graduation, for family and friends. For step-daughter we are hosting a brunch the next day (which is also Father’s Day), with her mom hosting a luncheon before graduation.</p>
<p>Or could you afford to buy her a really special gift to celebrate the occasion? Maybe a used car or a great vacation or something she really wants for college but isn’t expecting?</p>
<p>Thank you all,
I’m off to Party City for car paint, streamers, lawn signs…great suggestions! She “facebooked” her friends and their parents to have a post-graduation-practice luncheon tomorrow at Dave and Busters. I’m bringing a big Congratulations cake for the lunch. I’ll surprise her Saturday morning with balloons in her room, paint on her car, lawn signs and streamers. </p>
<p>More suggestions would be great. I think this will work!</p>
<p>P.S. Yes, it is high school.</p>
<p>Tell her she won’t even care once she graduates from college. They all start to lose their significance once people move on to bigger things.</p>
<p>Some suggestions: Flowers for the big night–presented after she has crosses the stage;
Another idea, stolen from one of my friends, …you could change your answering machine message, congratulating your recent/upcoming graduate…Hello, you’ve reached the Smiths. …We’re not home right now, probably busy celebrating Susie’s graduation from XYZ High. We’re SO proud her!..<br>
I love the idea of balloons galore in her room the morning of commencement and a perhaps a bouquet of them on the mailbox! You could tuck away little notes of congratulations in her purse, car, bathroom, dresser drawers, etc. In addition to the yard signs/streamers, you could paint her bathroom mirror with a message…I prefer the h.s. school colors rather than the future college’s colors–just my $.02.</p>
<p>She’s worked hard for this accomplishment and deserves to feel special!!</p>
<p>Shesonherway, it sounds like maybe she took some control of making it a special day by planning her own celebration. Good for her!</p>
<p>Oh, I just thought – If at all possible, get her big sister to call the morning of graduation, even if you have to call D1 first to set up the call, pay for the call, threaten D1, whatever, but I bet it would mean a lot to D2.</p>
<p>Love all the festive decoration ideas.</p>
<p>When the time comes, I’ll be using lots of fairy lights in the trees, also.</p>