H and I have had NFL season tickets for longer than we have been married. In the past few years, with the increasing awareness of concussion issues and long term effects to the players, I’ve become more aware of the costs and less interested in continuing to support such a violent sport.
Don’t get me wrong, I love watching a great game, the tailgating, the parties, and there’s nothing quite like a football game in a huge stadium in the autumn air. But.
As we approach another Super Bowl Sunday, I’m wondering if/how I can tell H that I want out of going to the games, watching every Sunday, supporting the home team, all of it. (Or at least MOST of it.) I don’t expect him to do likewise. I don’t care if he doesn’t. The rest of my in-laws are as rabid as he is. I feel it’s like trying to quit smoking when you are married to one. Or becoming a vegetarian or something.
There were 281 reported concussions in the NFL this season (so far). Anyone else had enough? Thoughts?
You could schedule something you prefer when the games are going to be taking place—meet a friend, exercise, go out for a meal or dessert, book club discussion, take a class, go to a movie, etc.
I am not a fan of sports which cause concussions and try to avoid watching football. My sister told our folks no more football games (she, we and my folks had season tickets for our local U).
At least after this Sunday you have several months to break the news to him!
How about saying that with all the health news out about football and injuries you need to take a step back from being an “active” football participant. Maybe don’t make it a “I’m never watching a football game AGAIN!” but more of a stepping back move.
Rip the bandaid off quickly. Tell him he needs to get someone else to go to the games with him, that he’s in charge of the entire process of organizing the tickets and the day, that you’ll be ____ (shopping, taking a walk, joining a bridge group) on Sundays.
Unfortunately not the case, since the NFL locks in season ticket holders in the Spring. If he is to give up our tickets or go in with someone else, he has to know soon and very soon.
I don’t have any suggestions, but I just read Bennet Omalu’s autobiography this weekend (he is the doctor Will Smith played in Concussion) and am seriously reconsidering my love of college football. It feeds into the NFL, which is clearly evil. I have zero problems giving up the NFL, as I was never a fan in the first place. But does that also make the SEC evil? The mascots? The band? I’m not sure where to draw the line.
Anyway, carry on. I have nothing to add; just struggling with a related issue.
Does he have to find another person to commit to the whole season, though? Around here it would be no problem finding a friend to go to games on a week-by-week basis.
If the financial aspect of the tickets isn’t s huge deal (and you don’t mention it, so I’m guessing it’s not), can’t he just buy the tickets and then ask friends, family, whoever, to go to games? At least for this year, and maybe find a permanent person to split them with fir future years.
I feel guilty these days when I watch college football… rarely watch pro to start with. I was a 3rd generation attendee of a big time football program, and rooting for them has been instilled in my since I was a toddler. My own kids could sing the fight song before they could sing the alphabet, although neither attended or feels a lot of allegiance now.
I agree that you need to let him know, and I’d tell him why. I wouldn’t try to make him feel guilty, just say you are going to back away from buying tickets and watching, and you wanted to let him know so he can decide what he wants to do about next year’s tickets. Now… if you don’t go and he buys 2 tickets, and just takes a friend, I am not sure that you’ve done anything except make yourself feel better (he is still giving revenue to the team).
My personal opinion is that lawsuits are going to bring big time football down over this eventually, regardless of what ticket holders do. And they will either change the rules from HS on up to make it lower impact and safer, or go under due to legal costs. I also think fewer parents are going to let their kids play to start with, so the pipeline of players may dry up a bit.
I’ve lived with a rabid Wolverine for 41 years and I can’t stand watching ANY type of sport. I just consider his addiction charming and do something else while he’s watching or attending. The best option, though, was joining the local alumni club and having him watch the games with the club at the venue they “own” on football Saturdays. That provides me with several hours of peace and quiet to do with as I wish.
SuperBowl is another animal; he definitely needs to be out of the house for that one. Fortunately, there is usually a party or two he can attend without me.
Probably a good discussion to have with him on Monday so he can start deciding about the season tickets. And kind of like being a vegetarian, you’ll have to come up with your elevator speech about why you changed your mind, and let people know you aren’t going to lecture them if they keep being fans. Otherwise people will start moving away from you at gatherings to escape your judgement. But you seem pretty grounded about the whole thing.
I don’t like the concussions, and just can’t tolerate the special treatment that high school and college (revenue) athletes get. The dumbing down of course requirements, and the forgiveness for offenses that the rest of the population would be ousted for. And that is not to say that athletes are, as a group, “worse” than the general population. There are probably about the same proportion of sociopaths on the football team as in the science club. But the athletes get a pass, and there is community-wide agreement in many places to paper over any offenses rather than let the athletes pay the price and set the standard of behavior for future participants. It becomes toxic.
Also, Stan Kronke.
But I digress. Let him know, and find some other fun things to do on autumn Sundays.
I’ve found in my very populated pro-football addicted city that during games is a great time to do things on Sundays that otherwise might be really crowded (shopping, museums, etc). I literally scheduled things like that during the games this past fall.
Become a Cleveland Browns fan and you will stop watching after the draft. Most anticipated day in any Browns fan’s season is the day before the draft. The team mucks the draft up and its over until the next draft. This year they have something like 750 picks in the first 3 rounds. They need to take the George Costanza approach and do the opposite of everything they think they should do.
As to the question, I would just tell your husband how you feel. He should understand and appreciate your being honest with him. I would be upset if I found out my wife was going along with something for years that she truly disliked (aside from visiting with my parents but that is a whole different story :)). And there isn’t anything wrong with doing some things separately.
My daughter-in-law, a relatively recent MD, has banned football in her house because of the TBI concerns. My son chafes a little bit, but he has never been anything like a rabid fan. And they're newly married. He's proud of her principles!
Her parents are immigrants, and certainly never saw American football played in any context until they were well into adulthood. Nevertheless, settled in Wisconsin, they figured out quickly that rooting for the Packers was an essential component of assimilation, so they became committed Packers fans. (The Packers . . . and Santa Claus. As far as they were concerned, those were the key local avatars of godhead they needed to honor in this country.) Their daughter probably had a Brett Favre poster in her bedroom growing up. I haven’t asked them what they think of her new anti-football stance.
My wife has never been interested in football, or really any sports that aren't part of the Olympics. She generally tolerates my interest, but way overestimates the time I spend watching it. Last year, in mid January, she happily announced that she had finally snagged a reservation to the hottest new restaurant in town, a place we had been trying to get to for months. It was a Sunday evening, to be sure. Yes, she managed to get a restaurant reservation during the Superbowl.
The meal was really good. I got home in time for Atlanta’s utter collapse.
I think not going to the games will be okay. It sounds like you support a team with a lot of super fans and the husband can find someone else who appreciates the opportunity to attend a game.
The tailgating is trickier to walk away from. OP, do you attend the games and tailgates with a big group of friends or relatives? Are you the designated pimento cheese dip provider? Most of the tailgaters I know like to do the same exact thing before every game. It’s like a ritual and the group may be reluctant to accept your change to the routine.
