<p>I’ve recently taken a pretty big confidence hit with my job as a writing tutor. I had a couple cases of difficult clients and a few instances of not knowing how to help someone, and I’ve been feeling quite inept and sad about it all. I’d appreciate any advice on how I can pull myself up by my bootstraps.</p>
<p>I briefly told my boss about this and she assured me that I was doing fine, but I still don’t feel at ease about it. I’m a writing major and so one who’s well-versed with writing and its various forms, but I don’t necessarily know if that translates to being someone fit to tutor others. I get so nervous sometimes because I worry about not being able to help my clients, and at times I inwardly dread going to work because I don’t want to deal with the stress that I create. I do have some very good sessions where I really connect with a student and teach them something, but I’ve also had some very bad sessions where I want to just throw in the towel. </p>
<p>I know that I absolutely do NOT want to give this up. The people I’ve met and the skills I’ve gained are extremely invaluable and beneficial to my well-being. Though my first instinct to a stressful situation is to run away and never come back, I’m trying to swallow it because this is something that is worth staying for. The money is good and I can certainly use it, and I’m not really having problems balancing it with school since I only work 10 or 11 hours a week.</p>
<p>Basically, is it normal to doubt yourself and to sometimes feel uncomfortable with helping others? How do I know if this is just a “growing up” thing or a real issue where I maybe shouldn’t be a tutor?</p>
<p>Thanks for reading, and I appreciate your time.</p>
<p>It is very normal to doubt yourself and have concerns about whether you’re making a difference in a student’s life. If anything, this shows you have the right attitude and heart for tutoring and should do your best to find supportive friends and family to work through those feelings. </p>
<p>I’d continue and chalk up the few bad tutoring sessions as inevitable downs which happens to everyone. </p>
<p>Also, keep in mind that not every student is ready or more importantly, interested enough to take tutoring sessions seriously. This is especially the case if the parents foisted the tutoring sessions on the student who have other priorities which take precedence over academics. </p>
<p>Contrary to some, I also believe teachers, parents, and some educational activists need to accept that there are many cases where students themselves needs to take responsibility for his/her academic shortcomings or behaviors in class/tutoring sessions. </p>
<p>In short, you won’t be able to reach every student you will be teaching/tutoring and sometimes, one needs to accept that. </p>
<p>I would say it’s very normal to doubt yourself AND it’s very normal to NOT connect with every student who comes in. People are just different and what works for one person may not work for another. Time and experience will teach you more skills and different approaches to different students.</p>
<p>If you decide to go into academia, keep in mind that entire classes also differ in tone and personality. I always thought I was a decent instructor. Then one semester, I got a class who just stared back at me without any sign of understanding or awareness. You bet I doubted myself. I thought I was doing something wrong. I brought in a guest speaker, who was a very good speaker. She got the same non-response as I did. Afterwards, she asked me what she did wrong. I told her (with great relief) that it wasn’t her, it was the class.</p>
<p>I think other parents that have mentioned that you won’t be able to help everybody are absolutely correct. I used to tutor calculus/physics, and I felt like I made some incredible gains with some students-- but there were also students who didn’t go to class and didn’t want to put the time in to learn the foundational math that they lacked. I wasn’t able to help them, and because we worked with weekly appointments, I dreaded the hour I spent with them every week. But I also had a lot of really wonderful students, and that’s what I remember. </p>
<p>As a tutor, your job is to help everybody as best as you can, and that’s it. It’s not goin to be possible to help everybody-- some students may simply not see things as you do; with others, you simply won’ t have time time to really make an impact.</p>
<p>One of the things that I used to be able to do when I was tutoring was request an observation session, so my boss would come in and watch me with a student and then meet with me one-on-one to give me feedback. If you feel like you’re struggling (or being praised emptily, an observation session might give you specific things you’re doing really well on and strategies to help you improve the work you do with your students.</p>
<p>Thank you for the input! You all really offered some helpful advice.</p>
<p>I’m also a perfectionist, so I think a lot of that is funneling into my job as well. It almost serves as a buffer for my academic performance, but it seems to be a hindrance in this case. I know that I shouldn’t strive to be the perfect tutor that can help everyone and anyone, but sometimes it’s just so easy to fall victim to that fantasy.</p>
<p>I like the observation idea. That might make me really nervous, but it might offer me the formality that I need. I also might ask to observe other tutors to see how they handle their sessions.</p>
<p>I have a few thoughts. Take what’s useful and discard the rest. </p>
<ul>
<li>Find strengths, not just weaknesses.<br></li>
<li>Is there a rubric used for scoring the writing? If so, you can review the student’s writing using it, giving specific examples of where he excelled and helping determine what needs surgery, er, could use polishing.</li>
<li>If there’s not a rubric, has the student been given a model you can use as a guide to ensure what you are communicating is in sync with what the student is being taught?</li>
<li>Criticism of writing can be hard to take and feel very personal, so not too much at once. One way to avoid getting caught up in details is to have a student read the writing aloud, waiting until she is finished before giving feedback.</li>
</ul>
<p>I have been a tutor for years (mostly math) and am also a classroom teacher (again, after many years–I was originally an ESL teacher, and used to tutor at a writing center. Now I teach English, math and test prep). I understand the feeling you are talking about and also get stressed out/dread work at times. I want to “succeed.” I want to help ALL my students. I want them to take in the material and improve their performance in that subject. I worry if students drop my classes–I wonder if I did something wrong. I wonder if they (or their parents) just don’t LIKE me or my style of teaching. I am very sensitive about it. I wonder if I’m doing a good job or not. What if I really AM incompetent?? Or just not cut out for this work because I take it too personally. I just have to tell myself that there will always be a few students who have some “issues”–poor preparation, ADD, no work ethic, family problems/distractions, etc. that prevent them from doing their best. I can’t control all those things. My personality or teaching style will not always “click” with every student. I can’t please everyone. I have to focus on what I am doing right, and improve my weakness, but I can’t control others. (The bright but lazy students drive me crazy. But I can’t go home with them and FORCE them to do their math homework. Very frustrating to see students taking a D in a class, when they clearly are bright enough to get a B or better.) Some things are just out of my (your) hands.</p>
<p>I agree with the others that some things are out of your control; however, not all of them are. If your batting average is lower than you think it should be or dropping, then it’s time to work on it. In the post above I listed a few items I feel can make a difference working with students. You may find there’s something you hadn’t considered or see confirmation you’re on the right track. It sounds like this is a new job, and I’m betting getting more experience under your belt, observing, and adding tools to your arsenal will help. Good luck, and I hope with time it gets easier and you come to enjoy the job.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for the replies! That list is very helpful, and I will definitely go over it to prepare for my sessions. </p>
<p>This week, I actually did arrange to be observed and to observe other tutors, and it helped a lot. After seeing exactly what I do and how I approach things, my boss and co-workers were better able to help me improve. They liked a lot of of what I did, and though I sometimes talk too fast and have a sort of nervously-anxious air about me, they said I’m doing fine. I’m going to try observing other tutors to see how they handle things, and hopefully I’ll get back into into the swing of things after a while. </p>
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