<p>zpmqxonw, I think the thank yous are a very nice gesture.
If you cannot personally deliver, can you discreetly place in the appropriate mailbox/cubby?</p>
<p>I would suggest a note of appreciation for the opportunity to work, and learn, on the research professor’s team, and for your wish of continued research success.
You always want to leave on a positive note for future networking possibilities.</p>
<p>Thank you for the update, zpmqxonw. It sounds like you are doing great! :)</p>
<p>As for the thank yous: I like what mominva’s said.</p>
<p>remember too, that anything you write down will become public knowlege. Know if you do it at the workplace it will be like gradeschool- where if a 2nd grader passes out valentines to the class, he is expected to give one to all the class- not to all but 2 or 3.
Those who don’t get one at your office will feel slighted. Since you have chosen the high road, now, I recommend you do any wording very carefully. Be sure to thank those you feel deserving without slighting those you choose not to thank.</p>
<p>zpmqxonw, it’s a shame your managers are so immature. I’m sorry this has been so difficult for you, but it will serve you well in the long-term. Everyone will remember you as someone who went above and beyond, and one day this will get paid back to you.</p>
<p>I think it depends a lot on the organization from which you’re resigning. Sometimes it’s pretty easy to make a graceful exit. Sometimes it’s unpleasant no matter how hard you try.</p>
<p>My last job I left a couple years ago was a small company experiencing enormous growth. The management was inexperienced and there was tremendous chaos and stress. I just couldn’t keep up with the late nights and weekends with our family needs, as well. So I resigned by telling my supervisor in person and then sending him an email thanking him for a great work experience, wishing the organization well and cc-ing his boss. </p>
<p>Well. It was as if I had stabbed him in the heart. He was very emotional, said he felt I was abandoning him in a tough time, worried for our friendship. It was uncomfortable. Then I waited and waited for him to announce to the rest of our team that I was leaving but he didn’t. I finally asked and he told me emphatically not to tell anyone. My two weeks notice passed, I worked as hard as I could to get my work in good order before leaving but it was terribly stressful not to tell any of my co-workers.</p>
<p>On my last morning an email went out from my boss to the entire company announcing a new hire into my position - still no mention of me leaving. I gathered my stuff at 10 in the morning and left.</p>
<p>Several colleagues have since also left the company.</p>
<p>Janet Jackson is not the only one who says: “What have you done for me lately?”
It applies to most people including bosses.</p>
<p>Thank you all for the advice and support.</p>
<p>I met with the research professor this morning to “tie up loose ends.” I gave her an update about what I had found out, we talked a lot about the study, and she spent a while trying to teach me some life lessons. I was very sad when it came time to leave and just barely held it together long enough to reach the bathroom, where I washed my face, and went back to work. </p>
<p>I’m left now with mixed feelings. I appreciate that she was so flexible with me and supportive. I wish I could erase the last 6-9 months, as the time before that was really, truly awesome. I think, in the recent chaos, I forgot a little about that. It was nice to leave on a good note, although, in some respects, that made it harder.</p>
<p>I’m filled with self-doubt now; I feel like the new position will be a better fit, but I don’t know for sure. I found out this week that there were over 100 other applicants and that has me a little spooked. My currently position was not absolutely horrible – just not a great fit for me. On paper, the new position, looks like a better fit, but I don’t know that for sure…</p>
<p>Trust yourself! You will never KNOW, all you can do is make the best choice you can with the info you have available to you at any time. You have kept a good relationship with this woman and she will remember that, no matter what the future brings.</p>
<p>Move forward and see what this new position will bring and be glad about all you have learned in the job you held while you put forward your best efforts.</p>
<p>Take a deep breath and throw yourself into your new job and see where it takes you. Good luck & I’m sure you’ll learn a lot of very interesting things about the job and yourself–we’re all always learning, if we’re open to it!</p>
<p>I am glad you left on a positive note.</p>
<p>I’m sure your new position will be a great fit; they saw that in you when they chose you!</p>
<p>Check in in a couple of weeks and let us know how it’s going.</p>
<p>I guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t post an update here too soon – it appears this saga will continue for at least a while longer…</p>
<p>On my last day at work, I wrote up a summary sheet of the status of all my projects and checked to make sure all files were transferred to appropriate locations. I felt like I really was leaving on good terms, thanked my supervisors for the experience, and even received a birthday card from the group!</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the situation since then has deteriorated and I’m left with very negative opinions of people who I used to really respect. The first day at my new job was blissful; none of my old coworkers knew where I was working, and I was able to work all day without interruptions! Then, slowly, requests started to gravitate back to me. Most were relatively minor, and I tried to deal with them in my free time, but the tasks were snowballing (in quantity) and everybody seemed to want me to do it for them right that instant. </p>
<p>This past Monday, I got back from a meeting and found my old supervisor waiting for me at my cubicle. She actually sat down on my desk (this was really weird to me!) and started firing off work requests and questions. It was very weird. Then, the next day, another former coworker barged in and interrupted a conversation I was having with a current coworker to ask if I could fix something on her computer. My current coworker was shocked and encouraged me to tell my manager.</p>
<p>So, last night, I sent an email to my new manager. She was great about it. Very encouraging and clear about the expectations; I am to do no work for the old group since 100% of my time is billed to a different grant. She also sent a letter to my old supervisor to let her know (cc’ing the new research professor). Old supervisor replied that they expected me to help out of “professional courtesy,” new supervisor replied that they can’t expect that, since they’re not paying me at all, but can set up a discretionary account to do so, if they would like. </p>
<p>Long story short, the whole situation has become very messy again. I am very happy with the new group, so it was definitely worth switching, but I do wish it would have gone a little smoother. I honestly don’t know what I could have done to do that…</p>
<p>zpmqxonw,</p>
<p>I am so glad to read your update.</p>
<p>I know you think your situation has become messy. It is not your fault! </p>
<p>Your old group is inappropriately crossing boundaries, but now you have a clear directive from your new manager.
Since 100% of your time is billed to a specific (not your old) grant, you are no longer able to work on the old project.</p>
<p>You are handling this transition admirably.
I am so glad you are working with this new manager.
Be sure to thank her for her support.</p>
<p>Wishing you continued success.</p>
<p>I agree completely with mominva.</p>
<p>Only a month or so into my “new” job, and I’m realizing now that I’m not enjoying this one much either. It is better then the last, for sure, but it is not what I want to do with my life. I still feel as if I’m just wasting time and just spinning my wheels. I make enough to live comfortably, but not really enough to save much; I rarely feel as if I’m actually using my brain; and I hate that a very significant part of my time is committed to working there week after week. It feels constricting, depressing, and unbearable at times. </p>
<p>I’m feeling quite “stuck,” at the moment, as I just recently accepted this job, and I know they will not be happy if I decide to leave. I really would like to go back to school to finish up the courses I need to apply to medical school. When I was younger, I was very interested in becoming a doctor, but I let a few weeder classes at my alma mater discourage me. I passed all of those classes, but got Bs in a few, and let that discourage me from following my original dream. I thought I would be just as happy in psychology, but have realized recently that I will most likely not feel as satisfied. At my job now, I feel as if I “settled” for something lesser than I truly wanted because I wasn’t good enough to follow my dream. </p>
<p>At this point, I wish I never would have switched. If I would have told my old supervisor my plan to go back to school, I think she would have been supportive (or at least more supportive than me transferring to another position). Now, however, my relationship with her is damaged, and my relationship with my new supervisor will likely be negatively impacted too, if I choose to go back to school now. Because I’m so unhappy now, I’m very close to risking it, but I am feeling uncertain about my ability to make good decisions now…</p>
<p>I’m sorry that work is stifling and dispiriting right now. </p>
<p>Regarding med school: Is there someone IRL with whom you can meet and discuss your plans in a bit of detail? Perhaps someone in admissions at your flagship med school?</p>
<p>What would be your preferred way to take the few classes that you need? (full-time, part-time, etc.) How else could it be done?</p>
<p>How are you regarded in your current job? Is your supervisor satisfied so far?</p>
<p>To zpmq… It may not be fully consoling, but know that not many of us have an absolute dream life. I’ve not 25 yrs old, hit the lottery, and dating both Nicole Kidman and Scarlett Johannson while I travel Europe. I’d be willing to give that life a try, but I don’t see it happening.
I have a job I like(not love) but it helps bring me a life with wife, son, home, friends and hobbies I am wonderfully happy with. My joy is not from my job but from my life. </p>
<p>Not to say “settling” is right for you, or for anyone. I’m trying to express that sometimes happiness is where you find it, and we don’t always find it where we expect.</p>
<p>Thank you both for the wise words of advice and support.</p>
<p>I had been planning to go back to school full-time, and perhaps switch to a lower-pressure part-time research job. I realized last night, however, that I would likely miss a significant portion of classes this summer, due to a week-long talent ID camp and other multi-day athletic events already planned for the summer. I also realized that it’s not possible to be ready to apply by Fall 2010, since I still have a year-long sequence left to complete. So, I’ll be most likely looking at Fall 2011 (applying for Fall 2012 matriculation date). Seeing that I don’t really need to rush to finish all prerequisite courses helped me to see that it’s not crucial to take classes this summer. </p>
<p>Also, as luck would have it, I got a chance to talk to my new manager today (and my old one – can’t believe she is still asking me to help!). I decided to decrease my hours at work to help prevent burn-out and asked to pick up a few more tasks at work to keep me busy (it’s really the downtime that is hard for me). The new tasks seem to have helped my mood and I really enjoyed being at work today. </p>
<p>I’ve decided that I’ll stay with my current job until at least December 2010, and then re-evaluate then. It helps a lot to not see it as something I’ll do forever. I’m trying to think of it more as a potential stepping stone to get to where I want to be. It also feels good that I’ll be able to make a positive contribution to this group and avoid leaving them after such a short tenure.</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>I’m really glad that things are looking better today!</p>
<p>:)</p>