<p>Mom–you are thinking of college as a trade school. Go to X program and become an X…preferably one that makes a lot of money.
I’ve had similar concerns about my kids as well. My D went to art school (that was way off my radar at the time). She’s gainfully employed and loves her job.
My S is in college and still hasn’t settled into a particular career path (and yeah, I pressure some) but he’s smart and I’m sure he’ll do well no matter what. He’s talented in math and science but just isn’t interested in pursuing those fields.
I refuse to push them into any particular career path because I know way too many people who while very capable of doing the math and science required of many professions are unhappy in those professions. Many have done some real extreme career changes later on.
It is hard to predict the future in this day and age. Web design, internet business, computer science, digital anything wasn’t exactly on the college curriculum when I went to school. Architecture was big then–not so much now on the job front.
I was interested in advertising growing up but the concensus was you needed to live in New York…not exactly true now–wish I had done it. And I’ve been fairly happy in pharmacy too…but like lamm I am jealous of those who major in their passions.</p>
<p>Here, I guess are the two sides (as posted on a NYTimes blog):</p>
<p>===============================================</p>
<h1>Get a degree that makes money. Forget that Boomer advice of studying what you love & everything will fall into place. Unless (parents) are paying for the whole thing. Otherwise, get a professional degree: medicine, engineering, math & science, accountancy, law . . . forget the fluffy stuff. Don’t join the ranks of the indebted college grads with no jobs and no health care, no house, no spouse, no babies . . . that’s no fun!</h1>
<h1>Students will not succeed in programs that do not interest them. Workers will not be successful in careers that do not interest them. Some people are drawn to and find success in pursuing … the liberal arts. If a student can afford to pay for college (with help from parents, scholarships, financial aid, work, or loans) they should major in what they want. Literature and the arts are important to a civilized society and even English and Art majors find jobs and health care. Finally, “no house, no spouse, no babies . . . that’s no fun”-I beg to differ. Recent college grads have a world of opportunities open to them.</h1>
<p>I wish I knew the right answer.
I suspect I will work with my daughter on trying find an approach that combines the best of the two positions.</p>
<p>Just because your son isn’t good in math right now doesn’t mean he won’t get better with it as he goes along, if that is in a degree that he wants to do. I was horribly at math and science when I was in high school and took a semester in physical therapy and did very well in all of those classes. It depends on his mentality and if the program is something he is really interested in, then the classes, although they will be difficult, will become easier for him to do. Just let him decide on what he wants and let him do it. As a parental figure and college student myself, we are suppose to make mistakes and learn from them. That is what life is all about, do something you love and then change your mind years from now and then maybe again change it. Very few people today find their dream careers in the first year or two of college so I would say let him go and take a semester, he will figure out whether it was a good idea or not.</p>
<p>This might likely be your son’s story in a few years if you force him into a major for which he has no aptitude or desire:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1193934-have-your-parents-forced-you-into-major-you-werent-prepared-didnt-want.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1193934-have-your-parents-forced-you-into-major-you-werent-prepared-didnt-want.html</a></p>
<p>Have you actually sat down with him and had a discussion about what he wants to study and what he intends to do with his education? I may have missed this in one of your previous posts but I think that communication is vital in making this choice unless your intentions are to make his decisions for him throughout his life.</p>
<p>If your son is worthless without an engineering degree, he is worthless with an engineering degree. Unless you truly believe that your son is worthless, don’t have such a trembling knuckled grip, and don’t look so narrowly down the path to a “guaranteed” job. If your son is not worthless, he should learn to flourish independent of his degree. If your son is worthless, get him to a nunnery. Now tell me, is your son worthless?</p>
<p>Where did she say her son was worthless? Don’t try and twist the dialog to support your argument and try to “score” against another poster asking a valid (albeit controversial) question.</p>
<p>The OP said a worthless college career - meaning it won’t help her son, not that her son’s worthless.</p>
<p>However, I don’t think any college career is “worthless” if the student is getting something out of it (and this needn’t always be a ton of money). I found my education to be very fulfilling even if it didn’t land me the best job. I learned a great deal about things not just pertaining to my major, which makes me well-rounded and adaptable to many changing situations. </p>
<p>If your son majored in a liberal arts field and did poorly - bad grades, doesn’t do homework, learns nothing, skips class, etc. - then maybe I would classify it as a worthless college career.</p>
<p>“I have never been the type of mother that told my children that they can go to college for ANYTHING and be successful no matter what, because that is simply false!”</p>
<p>While mommy didn’t call her son worthless, basically the above statement is saying to the kid that if you don’t do what I think you should do, you are going to fail.</p>
<p>Or she means exactly what she said, that - unlike the rest of you - “I’m not going to shine my kid on”.</p>
<p>So then, ANDS!, you agree that anything outside of a STEM major is a big mistake?</p>
<p>Qualify “big mistake” and I (and no doubt the OP) will answer that.</p>
<p>People wonder why some adult children want to have minimal contact with their parents. They should read this thread.</p>
<p>You’re right. It is totally because Mommy wouldn’t let Timmy pursue a degree in History of Latin Woodworking.</p>
<p>I have made my fair share of errors in my life. When I first went to college in 2003, my parents wanted me to go into Pharmacy, but I stubbornly chose broadcast and communications. Iended up doing bad, and ended up getting kicked out because I put my social life ahead of my studies. After that, I took some time offf, to re-evaluate my life. I won’t say what I did during the time off, as that’s a classified matter. Fast forward to 2009, after my “sabbatical” I went to a local CC to get my associates in International business. In 2011, I got accepted to Rutgers, where I am currently attending to get my Bachelor’s in Economics. Originally went towards a STEM major, but realized I went into it for the wrong reasons, which is why I changed over to Economics, which is much more practical, not only career wise, but also at a personal level as well. So you see, nothing in life is automatically set in stone. Maybe your son may not want to go into a STEM field now, but he may have to complete some science , math, and technology courses as a GE Requirement. During that time period, he may come to the realization that he wants to pursue a degree in CS, Engineering, or whatever other STEM based major. Allow him to make his mistakes, as that is the only way he will ever learn. I know, that my mistakes have turned me into the man I am today. I am almost finished with my education(1.5 years left, maybe less if I take a couple of overloaded semesters), am currently a consultant,investor, and funds allocation manager at my friends start up, and a wonderful woman that loves me. Let everything work out, like the market system, where there is a invisible hand to help achieve success and growth.</p>
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<p>Sure, we can end up changing careers a few times in our lives. But not everyone does/can. And by forcing a child who hates/is not good in STEM fields into that field, there may (or may not) be a life-long negative impact. For some people it turns out very, very badly. For others it’s not so bad. But we can never know until it’s done.</p>
<p>People have this false notion that you will end up in your major field after college, or for life. If you have a solid, well-rounded education, your opportunities can seem endless if you know what you want and plan out how to get there. You might major in math and end up in an entirely different field after graduation. The same with business, or art. I know quite a few people who studied one thing in college, but plan to do (or are doing) very different things. </p>
<p>Implying that it’s pointless to go to college unless you’re majoring in STEM is ridiculous. We have enough people running around who don’t know how to write a resume, or proper sentences for that matter. We should encourage the pursuit of education. This doesn’t mean you have to go to an expensive private school. </p>
<p>I do resent my parents for never being supportive of my interests. I am the person who has to live my life in whatever career I end up in. I am the one who has to budget myself on whatever salary I make. As long as they aren’t paying my bills, they have no right to tell me what I must do for the rest of my life. This kind of pressure is often harmful to kids who are 17 and trying to make a big decision about their life, and who are raised with this kind of narrow mentality. But what do I know, since I only studied psychology.</p>
<p>ANDS!, why should I qualify big mistake. Those were the words of the OP.</p>
<p>I actually wish more parents thought like the OP. Part of the reason students get in over their heads with debt after graduation is because they major in what they like/what takes the least effort. Well unfortunately there ends up being a lot of overlap in those areas, and the market doesn’t need 100,000 new artists every year so most of these graduates can’t find jobs. Students need to consider where the labor shortages are as well as their interests, and not be afraid to struggle when choosing their major. I keep hearing my peers talk about how hard it is to find a job now, but there’s actually over 3 million job openings that companies just flat out can’t find anyone qualified for. And I hate to burst everyone’s bubble, but the vast majority of those jobs ARE in math and engineering.</p>
<p>^^ Not all students rack up large amounts of debt. You can be an art/English/philosophy major and not graduate with any debt or very little debt if you are smart about your choices. </p>
<p>And what if their interests don’t lie where labor shortages are? And where the shortages are now, they may not be in 10+ years.</p>
<p>I am quite good at math and science, but hate the courses and the prospect of working in those fields more than you can imagine. I would rather take a lower paying job than despise every moment I am alive in a job I hate. Some people are just this way. Others, sure, they go with the flow and don’t really care where they end up, as long as they’re making money. Not all of us can stand to live that way.</p>
<p>However, I don’t believe someone should rack up debt for an uncertain major. If they want to be an artist, start off at community college and transfer to a low-cost state school with some merit aid. For some fields - such as the arts - I believe that if you are good, you will develop and do well even if you don’t go to the best art school because it is a field requiring skill, not just knowledge. Some majors require strong critical thinking skills…which some people just don’t have, and it’s a hard quality to teach. You shouldn’t shove kids who lack critical skills required for their majors into those majors just to see them fail. I’m terrified of all the nurses I see who somehow made it through the courses, but say and do the most ridiculous things (relating to their jobs), and who just don’t seem to have a clue about nursing. Or all of the teachers who just don’t care about teaching. Or doctors who will require unnecessary tests to pay off expensive equipment or help their hospital. It’s just sad.</p>
<p>People like the OP should realize that not all STEM majors have good job and career prospects. In particular, biology is the most popular STEM major, but it does not have very good job and career prospects.</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/internships-careers-employment/1121619-university-graduate-career-surveys.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/internships-careers-employment/1121619-university-graduate-career-surveys.html</a></p>
<p>While it is true that many of the math-heavy majors do have better job and career prospects, it does no good for a student who is not good at or does not like math to try those majors and do poorly in them.</p>
<p>What I said was that they should CONSIDER labor shortages, not base the decision entirely on one factor. If you’re interested in, say, film, english, art, history, and economics, then you should take into serious consideration that econ majors make significantly more than the other four. I think college students are basically isolated from market forces by their parents and easy government lending policies, which causes them to make uninformed decisions. But they pay severely for that when they graduate, and so does the economy. We keep getting an influx of new talent that is not at all aligned with the skills needed to meet market demands. This is a dangerous trend that everyone sees, but no one is willing to tell college students what they need to hear. People need to stop telling students to simply study what they love. That’s not good advice. They need to find a balance between their interests and where the jobs are. And if there is no overlap at all, then at the very least don’t waste your money on college. You’re going to be waiting tables regardless. If you’re really interested in a topic that isn’t marketable, double major or just simply read.</p>