<p>I’m an international student hoping for an American education. I have done comprehensive researches about schools and stuff, enough to write a few “Why?” essay. But there is little I know about actual school life. The colleges’ websites all show flamboyant pictures of guys and girls interacting with a great sense of unity, but I know that isn’t all. </p>
<p>Particularly, if I and, say, my roommate has a conflict, how do I solve it in the … American way? Is compromise always better? If my roommate loses his temper, will he shoot me? How frequent is bullying? Are there gangsters on campus? From what I have seen in Hollywood movies, school life isn’t quite positive (pardon my lack of real-life knowledge in this matter).</p>
<p>Please share your experience. Thank you!</p>
<p>There will have to be compromise at some point; you will not find someone you agree with 100% of the time on every topic of living together. You would talk it out like two mature adults and give a little to take a little. You will learn each other’s quirks as you spend more time together. When you run into a problem, you work together on a solution. It may not always work out (they may play music all night when you want it quiet, or have friends over much later than you’d like), but you can always seek a new roommate later on, and if it’s bad enough, you can request a room change. Thousands of students learn to get along together, and those who can’t get along still manage to survive. You can always come back to this site to ask for advice on a situation when it arises :)</p>
<p>I do not think that you should fear being shot…or otherwise physically abused. It does happen, more often when alcohol is involved, but it is not common enough that you should expect it to happen. There might be students who bully or try to act like “gangsters,” but they would be a small minority at most campuses. If you ever feel unsafe you should get away and speak to campus security, or even the police if violence is involved. I personally haven’t heard of anyone being bullied or harmed at college. I never feared it happening to me. You do, however, need to use common sense and not walk around campus alone at 2am. I have heard of students being mugged, but not injured, at such hours.</p>
<p>Most students are new and nervous just like you. It’s their first time away from home, and they just want to make friends and fit in. College is usually a more mature environment than high school. There might be cliques, but for the most part people will interact with a much more diverse group of people. </p>
<p>Don’t base your views on Hollywood movies - they are called “suspense,” “comedy,” and “action” movies for a reason. Most college experiences won’t be quite as exciting as the movies.</p>
<p>What country are you from? Chances are if you’re this ignorant of America, the murder rate in your country is higher than in the US. Most campuses do not allow students to keep firearms in the dorms, so that’s unlikely to ever be a problem. Bullying isn’t really a thing. There’s a few isolated cases the media blows up every once in a while, but in reality it’s very uncommon. There won’t be gang affiliations on campus because it’s college. Unless you’re looking to start selling drugs you shouldn’t worry about that. </p>
<p>As for solving a conflict, it depends on what the conflict is. We as Americans (though I won’t speak for the East coast) like to try to solve our conflicts between ourselves without having to go through the courts or police. Often a bargain can be struck. “You stop doing X and I’ll stop doing Y” kind of thing. Or “I’ll give you $X if you let me use Y” type of thing. Most people are reasonable and not looking to cause problems.</p>
<p>A college is generally a safe and protected environment. The setting the college is situated in may be more or less safe depending on the city/town location. There is a structure and support services, including campus police who are looking out for the safety of the students. There are rules of conduct and students who break them or engage in criminal behavior are asked to leave.</p>
<p>Freshman roommate assignments are generally random so you may or may not be a good match. There are generally accepted rules of conduct. The vast majority of situations are positive or neutral. But of course conflict arise. Usually compromise will work out. The are Resident Advisers that students can go to for help with conflict resolution. It would be extremely unusual to have a violent situation and that person would be removed by police. Even a terribly uncomfortable situations aren’t all that common. Many times you can change rooms, sometimes you can’t, but you will have a new roommate the next year and usually get to pick who. </p>
<p>Typical roommate conflicts would be early risers vs late sleepers and early to bed vs late nighters, neat vs messy, too may visitors, too much noise. Just learning to work around each other.</p>
<p>Bullying situations are real but that seems to be something that happens in elementary/middle/high school not at college. There really aren’t gangster types going to college.</p>
<p>Student life is not much like you will see in a movie. Those are made for entertainment purposes and contain exaggerated and ludicrous situations and characters.</p>
<p>I thank you for your comprehensive responds, NovaLynnx, Vladenschlutte and BrownParent. I feel like I can do it now!</p>
<p>You should be okay unless your roommate is also an international student but from a rival family, different socio-economic class and different religion. In that case you might want to find a gangster and get yourself a gat.</p>