<p>I make good grades in school, and have earned a full scholarship, so there’s no reason that I should feel depressed, but I am. I’ve always been frugal, and that caused me to sacrifice what I most desired for financial reasons. I went to community college for two years,( with a scholarship that covered everything) and have now transferred to a small college with a full scholarship. My finances for college are paid for, and I should be happy, but I’m not. I read reviews online, and it’s like no one takes my small college seriously. My program isn’t programmatically accredited, (even though it’s in the process,) and I don’t know if that will affect future employment. I’m worried about finding employment in the future and I don’t want to end up working at some grocery store.</p>
<p>Back to feeling depressed, I feel like I settled as far as colleges go. I could of went to any college I wanted, but went with the smaller college for financial reasons and because it offered the full scholarship. My sister is going to a much bigger and well known university, and I’m jealous. Whenever she talks about her college events I feel bummed out that I didn’t go there, (even if it doesn’t offer my major, which again, made me regret my major.) I went to her college and it was beautiful, and it made me feel bad that I was going to such a small college.( Her university’s parking lot was even bigger than my entire school!) But it wasn’t only the size, it was also that I felt that I was losing out on the college experience. Past students have said that my small college is like a glorified high school and that it’s a scam, but I shouldn’t worry about that, considering the fact that my tuition is paid for with the scholarship. Again, financial reasons trump happiness for me.</p>
<p>I guess I’d feel better if I was excited about my studies. I’m a Graphic Design major, and I should be excited for my classes but right now I just feel burnt out in art. At this point, I’m halfway finished and just want to get my degree already. Now you’re probably thinking, why did I major in it then? Well, at one point I was so passionate in art, so much that I didn’t care about the financial aspects… but then I just got burnt out from the classes, and the pompous, critical nature of art. I’m just not as excited to be a graphic designer as I was before, and I’m not sure if that’s normal or not. Others students are so passionate about art, they’ve wanted to do this since they were in diapers, and me, I 'm more like, “I just want to finish my degree already.” I kind of have an outlook of doing graphic design as a day job until my book gets published, or just finishing my degree and getting a master’s in something English related so I could at least teach. </p>
<p>I’m not excited about future employment, even though I have no experience working in a Graphic Design work setting. My true interest is writing, but there isn’t much of a market for that, and also I feel like I’m too far gone to even start over again in another major. Plus, I always feel like the majors I like aren’t even financially stable, which conflicts with my personality. I always feel like the fields I’m interested in, (english, art, humanities,) are fields that lead to lackluster employment and a low salary. I wish I was into the sciences or math like my sister, because at least that way I wouldn’t feel academically inferior, especially when someone asks my major. On the bus a stranger asked me my major and when I said graphic design, he actually laughed and said that it was funny that I majoring in something that wasn’t even worth it. He was uneducated and knew nothing about graphic design, but later on that hurt me…because I always thought people were thinking that, but maybe they were too polite to say it to my face. </p>
<p>It’s like no one takes the arts seriously, and that the only thing that matters is the STEM, and you are only smart if you’re in the STEM. I guess this came down to my dad always telling me to be a doctor, and me feeling like I was disappointing him by choosing graphic design instead. He never said he was disappointed in me, and didn’t force me to do something else, but sometimes he would say things that made me feel bad…such as being excited when the healthcare students showed up, and saying, “Why don’t you do “insert medical profession,” like them?” </p>
<p>One time I talked to him about painting and he said, “You know you don’t need to go to school to learn how to paint.” Like the only thing I was learning in school was painting, which wasn’t true at all. I showed him my schedule for college and he said, “Everyone can do web design now a days,” when I showed him my major’s concentration. It hurt because I wasn’t really into web design, I just did it because it was the most marketable field in G.D, so that was like a kick in the stomach. My dad isn’t a bad guy and doesn’t say things to spite me. He wants us to do what we like to do in college. I just feel like his remarks are sometimes unintentionally hurtful. My sister is majoring in Engineering and he told me that engineering was a good field, but he never once told me that about graphic design…it made me feel like I’m going to clown school or something. It’s like he has all this praise for engineering and the “Godly Medical Profession,” and when it comes to graphic design he says, “Oh, well you’re good at anything you do.” Like I could be majoring in basket weaving and I’d still be good at it.</p>
<p>My mom is the complete opposite. She loves the fact that I’m doing G.D., so much that it’s like she’s pushing me into this field. But that doesn’t make me that excited. It actually makes me want to do the opposite.</p>
<p>So the gist of the story is—I’m feeling depressed about my college, my major, and my future career plans. I know this isn’t “therapy.com,” but I wanted to know if there was any advice from someone who’s been down a similar path before…Sorry if I typed a handful, or more like an essay. I’m a writer so it’s naturally easy for me to whip up paragraphs of text. I know I have a terrible outlook on life. As you can see, I’m naturally a pessimistic person. I didn’t mean to depress anyone reading this. I just wanted some positive insight from someone who might have experience from this. Thanks.</p>