<p>Colleges, wondering what you can do to get your USN&WR ranking scores up? How to pass by your peer schools and be a true campus hero? Well, look no further, were here to help. The key factors to improving the perception that your school has improved are: </p>
<p>Peer Rankings (25 percent). Believe it or not, worthless nonsense about what how some dude who has never set foot on your campus scores your college matters and this bit of fluff is the highest percentage of all ranking categories. You dont need to be a math wiz to want to improve this baby. What to do? Simple, extort leaders at other schools. Rather than plead with them to join their own little group of Ill think you are great if youll think Im great cronies, simply give them an offer they cant refuse. After all, it would be a shame if that picture of the topless underage girl sitting in the lap of some college president were to be leaked to the press, wouldnt it? For just some chump change out of the colleges discretionary fund, this will be the best investment your college ever made. </p>
<p>Student selectivity (15 percent). This is not the highest percentage but a category that can really help pull your school up over peer schools. If you are a good public university wanting to look like you are a top 50 school, get your state to pass a law that the school can only take kids that are in the top 10 percent of their class. If you are a good private school, pass over better kids at better schools to take students that are in the top 10 percent of their chump high school classes. Now to cover up the fact that you are passing on better students make the SAT/ACT optional (except for merit scholarships). This means that only kids with really good scores will report them and your college should be upfront about what scores you do care about to help these kids decide whether to submit their scores. Ya see, being helpful is helpful. Now, as you are going to optional score reporting, only accept one of the two services, either SAT or ACT as USN&WR will only consider test scores of the service that the majority of kids report to that school. This will ensure that you dont lose precious top scores. Also, offer OOS and minority students to apply free to your school. Admissions is roughly a fixed cost so you can do this without it costing much, after all, it’s not like you really need to read these applications. Simply reject most of these kids and this will improve your applications to admit ratio and make it look like a bunch of kids really wanting to go there but are not getting in. </p>
<p>Retention Rate (20 percent). Not much you can do here without real work but by taking those mediocre kids that still were in the top ten percent of their class (see Student Selectivity), this will help retention rate as these kids arent going anywhere else so they will help both your freshman retention rate and 6 year graduation rate. </p>
<p>Faculty Resources (20 percent). Piece of cake. In their infinite wisdom, USN&WR has decided that paying faculty more means students have a better education. Fortunately this is both salary and benefits. You decide that benefits will include the faculties ability to suggest what the college should spend their operating budget. Oh, and you include 60 percent of their salary as the value of that benefit when reporting to USN&WR and 0 when reporting to the IRS. The other major factor is class sizes fewer than 20 students and those greater than 50 students. Simply put in a bunch of small classes that few kids can actually get into and avoid >50 classes like the plague. Remember its better to have one class of 500 kids than 5 classes of 100. You have to love the stupidity of USN&WR, theyre the best. </p>
<p>Financial Resources (10 percent). See Faculty Resources above. Paying added benefits to faculty counts here too as instruction spending counts in the per-student educational spending number. Doubt benefit whoot!</p>
<p>Alumni Giving (5 percent). Not to worry, now that youve gamed the system, alums pleased with their schools improved rankings will be throwing money at you. Its all good.</p>