<p>You sound like a very caring person. And I am so relieved to find myself reading a thread about eating disorders that doesn’t have to do with people thinking they’re some diets or that the person suffering from an eating disorder can just instantaneously “recover” by eating a sandwich.
I feel your pain because I too, had a friend who struggled with an eating disorder. She had both anorexia and bulimia and was very evasive about her illness. She passed away last year. It was suicide–most people with eating disorders who pass away usually do so by means of suicide or because of the complications of the illness (i.e. electrolyte imbalance leading to heart failure, multiple organ failure, etc). She didn’t want to deal with it anymore. And she didn’t want to keep on hurting her friends and family, and also didn’t want to recover because the illness is very consuming.
Her struggles and her pain made me disgusted over all of the people who think EDs are some “diet” or joke and constantly label thin people “anorexic.” Of course, the media has a large part in this cloud of ignorance too. And by being a part of this cloud of ignorance, people are oblivious to the psychological and physical pain that the suffering are dealing with, oblivious to the dangers, oblivious to compassion and empathy. As you can probably understand, I get extremely agitated and frustrated with someone shows ignorance toward an ED.
Anywho, I just felt the need to say that. I am so tired of people misunderstanding eating disorders. So it was a godsend to read this thread and realize that you, the maker of this thread, are so open-minded and sympathetic.
I would suggest that if you do call her (please do), don’t talk about her illness directly. I’ve realized that many people with EDs resent others talking about their illness (for many, it’s a control problem and having someone know about their illness/talk about it makes them feel violated and even more empty). I think that is something that her therapist should deal with. I think you should just talk about general things, but don’t make her feel deprived because she’s in a clinic. Always, always tell her just how much you care/love her, because usually people with EDs are very, very alone inside and excluded from love. Just tell her that you believe in her and all of that and the general things going on in life.
I wish you and your friend the best of luck.
Oh, and I’d also like to say that just because she gains weight/starts eating a bit more doesn’t mean that she’s recovered. You probably know this, but anorexia is a psychological illness and the physical emaciation/strange eating habits are just the symptoms, not the problem itself. Furthermore, one does not need to be totally emaciated to have the mindset of someone who is suffering from anorexia nervosa. I say this because often times, when someone struggling with anorexia is “recovered” and out of the hospital, people tend to think that the person is completely recovered just because he/she has gained weight and is eating a bit more. What needs to be done is the recovery of the mind and the emotional pains the person has gone through. Many sufferers tend to relapse, so watch out for that. Once she’s out, I wouldn’t comment blatantly on her body if I were you. Focus on her other qualities, i.e. personality and intelligence and all of that. Avoid body talk–that generates self-consciousness and is triggering to those who have EDs.
Whoo long post.
<3</p>