<p>Even though we know we can give specific, relevant and insightful advice to our kids, especially re grad school (H and I have both been through the process), we have found that much of that advice isn’t taken seriously. It’s not that we don’t know what we’re talking about–it’s because it’s FROM THE PARENTS! </p>
<p>What has worked far better is when the advice comes from that unbiased 3rd party several have mentioned here. For D, personal networking works very well, ie professors, advisors, etc. For S, not so much. He seems to respond better to books and articles of advice, then filters down from that to decide who he’d want to talk to. For him, a “final” career path may end up being far more serendipitous than it will be “planned”.</p>
<p>It’s frustrating as a parent to watch your kids lose out on opportunities because they didn’t get that req request in early enough, or didn’t time their classes to allow for GRE study, or simply don’t seem to be focused. We’ve lived it. And especially for me, it’s been hard to see them make these mistakes—because I personally made several of those mistakes in my own academic life! But without a doubt, the learning that comes from those mistakes is far more valuable than the easier route may have been. </p>
<p>The whole thing is a learning experience for ALL of us. I still don’t have it quite right yet :)</p>
<p>Since you are a parent, you can now qualify as an “old person” which means you can freely send links & articles to your kids :D</p>
<p>Perhaps when you see info pertinent to her situation, email her a link to the Chronicle of Higher Education or CC and to the person other than her parent who knows something of value to her.</p>
<p>One of my DDs would listen to anything I shared, the other 2 did not want to hear it, but when the most resistant DD was applying for grad school, she did accept info from me by email, not so much talking, because then I was her annoying mom.</p>
<p>Thanks to all of you! It really helped me a lot. My husband has been telling me to stop trying to tell her what to do (trying because dd doesn’t listen to me). I thought he was being too insensitive, but after reading all your posts, I think my husband and all of you are right. I should calm down and not be afraid if her life is “not perfect”. She’ll survive. </p>
<p>bethiert, thanks for reminding that she’s a young adult now. dd should depend on herself. After all, I know very little about her field of study.</p>
<p>mythmom, i don’t think my dd wants to go to grad school to an Ivy because of the brand name. Dd wants to go to Ivy because the Ivies (only 3 of them) have the very best programs in her field. She’s very passionate about her major. But, I know what you mean. thank you for your comments.</p>
<p>artloversplus, got it. I may try and see if it works.</p>
<p>happymomof1, “She just wants to be heard and she wants her emotions validated” thanks for reminding me about it. I didn’t think about it before. </p>
<p>curiouser, thank you so much!. “It’s frustrating as a parent to watch your kids lose out on opportunities because they didn’t get that req request in early enough, or didn’t time their classes to allow for GRE study, or simply don’t seem to be focused. We’ve lived it. And especially for me, it’s been hard to see them make these mistakes—because I personally made several of those mistakes in my own academic life! But without a doubt, the learning that comes from those mistakes is far more valuable than the easier route may have been.” This is exactly how I feel. I didn’t know until I read your post that I was being too controlling because I wanted her life to be “perfect” to save her for making mistakes that will disappoint/hurt her. Again, thank you.</p>
<p>hunt, i agree. it’s too soon to be thinking about grad school. She is very passionate aobut her field and has been working very hard. However, her field of study is very demanding and getting a good gpa will take her a lot of discipline and time management. </p>
<p>somemom, thanks for the tip. Maybe e-mails will work for her.</p>