<p>I’m not going to go into my story again… I’m pretty sure most of you are relatively familiar with it.</p>
<p>Long story short, I contacted a local voice teacher and asked for a “trial” lesson, specifically so she could assess my voice and see how much I’ve actually progressed with my voice teacher (and to possibly point out why I’ve had **** luck with auditioning into colleges). We had the trial lesson, and she said I’m “well on my way” but there are a lot of little things that, when combined, pretty much set me up for failure. She also said that she can really hear “that special something” in my voice, and thinks that if I let her work with me, we can really make leaps and bounds of progress. Basically, she said she’d love to work with me. We really hit it off, I loved every minute of the lesson. I’m going to my third lesson with her in around an hour!</p>
<p>My voice teacher has been wondering where I’ve been. I’ve made up my mind that I want to switch, but my compassionate personality does NOT like the fact that I have to tell him I’m switching. I honestly feel really bad, haha.</p>
<p>So I need help. How do I break this to him?</p>
<p>You’ve gone about this all wrong and now have to do the right thing and be honest with your former teacher. The music community is very small and it’s hard not to keep running into the same people throughout your years. It’s one thing to take a “trial lesson” with another teacher, it’s an entirely different issue to keep going back and establish a working relationship with the new instructor before having severed the previous ties. You must call your first teacher right away and let him know that you deeply appreciate what he has done for you but that you feel that the time has come for you to try something different and move on. You needn’t tell him that you’ve had several lessons but you owe him the courtesy of a thank you and good bye. Be polite, stick to the issue and don’t be drawn into a confrontation; this may be hard, since from your own admission, your former teacher had tried to find out why you are not booking or attending lessons. He’s holding a spot for you in his schedule and it’s only fair for you to allow him to give that spot to someone else.
It’s great to hear you excited about the new teacher and hopefully, you can make progress with her and get where you want to be. However, and I’m going to play Devil’s Advocate here, she’s said what you wanted to hear. Not many local teachers are going to tell you that you’re barking up the wrong tree and need to pursue a different line of work. They want students and need the income so they will give you enough “positives” to keep you on the hook and coming back. I could be entirely wrong, and I hope I am, but go into this with your eyes open. You have not had the success you wanted in your applications to schools which should have been good matches, and you want this teacher to turn things around and make it possible for you to reapply and gain admission to your dream schools. If all is as she says, then work and attention to detail may do the trick- that would be wonderful! But, is it possible for you to make arrangements with a teacher in a good college/university music program within driving distance to give you a dispassionate evaluation of your voice currently and your potential? You’ve been through a lot this past year and it would be good to get on the path that would be of the most benefit to your future. Good luck!</p>
<p>I totally agree with both of Mezzo Mama’s main points. 1) you need to quickly fix up the situation with your teacher, and 2) alarm bells went off for me too about what she’s told you. The comments about her really wanting to work with you, and hearing the “special something” in your voice would make me feel slightly wary, but maybe that’s a singer vs instrumentalist issue.</p>
<p>As for what do you tell your teacher, I would buy a nice present, write a heartfelt card about some of things you’ve really appreciated from him, and then call and ask if you can make a time to go and see him and have a chat. I would probably make some comment on the phone about not being prepared for a lesson, but wanting to have a talk for a few minutes if he has time. He’ll probably already know by this point what you’re going to say when you see him in person, so then its just a matter of saying a lot of thank yous, goodbye, and giving the present. You don’t need to tell him about your current/future plans unless he asks, and if he does, just stay with specific facts; you had a trial lesson with X and enjoyed it, so you’re going to try that route.</p>
<p>Yeah, I know I went about this in a really bad fashion. I meant to call my former teacher right after I decided I wanted to switch, but I honestly felt bad, and that kept me from calling him. Sounds like a ****ty excuse, but it’s true.</p>
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<p>Ahhh I didn’t mean “where I’ve been” like that. He wanted an update on what my plans were for college. Not in the sense “where have you been for lessons”. He lives in the city and only comes out here (eastern Long Island) when there are four or more students on board for the day, and that’s tricky, because he has a total of 5 students. So most weeks when I was all ready to go for a lesson, I’d get a text from him basically saying “sorry, not coming.” It got a little frustrating.</p>
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<p>Yeah, I thought about this too. But I honestly don’t think she’s doing that. She has a good amount of students, and also has a job. She doesn’t need my $45 by any means. </p>
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<p>Another reason why I don’t think she’s playing me is because she’s advised I cut my losses for now, and we’ll pick schools in a few months.</p>
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<p>I’ve actually done this. I did this around a year ago, right after I started community college. I basically got the same laundry list of improvements that my new teacher gave me.</p>
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<p>Thanks, I appreciate it. Obviously you don’t have all the details of what I’ve discussed with my new teacher, but after talking to her about my past lessons, experiences, and auditions, I realized I was going down the correct path but with a broken compass, so to speak.</p>
<p>Anyway, I called my former voice teacher. He didn’t answer so I left a voicemail basically saying thanks for everything, but I’m going in a different direction, let’s keep in touch.</p>
<p>I was in the same position but I’m a violinist. You need to GO AND MEET YOUR TEACHER IN PERSON <em>note: this is very vital that you MEET IN PERSON</em> and thank him for all that you’ve learned from him. You need to feed his ego then tell him that you feel as though it’s time to move on. Thank him and promise him to keep in touch — then move on. That’s it.</p>
<p>I agree, I think seeing him in person is pretty essential to avoid bad feelings. A real phone-call would be a possibility I suppose, but a voicemail? Not great form IMO. If that means you need to make the commute to wherever he lives, so much the better.</p>
<p>Riku92mr, I understand your feelings all too well. Breaking up with a teacher is very difficult and painful, especially when you are an empathetic person who shies away from conversations such as these. But fisheee and the others are correct. This is a small world, and you have to make this right. </p>
<p>I speak from past experience, having bumbled a few breakups with teachers whom I knew would react badly because of their own temperaments. It’s always easier to shove the task away for another day, but trust me, this is a small world, and the consequences of the bad breakup can far outweigh the pain of an uncomfortable meeting. At this point you need to do damage control. </p>
<p>Call your teacher in person and ask to meet in person. Take him or her to lunch or coffee, if s/he is willing. As fisheee said, give him a present. It should be something thoughtful. If your teacher likes plants, a small plant, or a book related to music (Alex Ross’s book, for example, with a warm inscription inside… something that shows you care.) </p>
<p>Your teacher WILL talk to others about the way you left the studio-- you need to make this right; otherwise this bridge is burnt.</p>