<p>Apparently, I’m too nice to people or w/e, and I don’t want feel used in college, or have someone take advantage of me. [like, i do NOT want my roomie to feel that its ok to just go through my stuff and take what she needs, take the shower during my time, or make me do all the cleaning]</p>
<p>how do i set the rules without coming off as obsessive, but i dont want to be stuck doing everything either and come off as an airhead! </p>
<p>thanks a bunch, bumble</p>
<p>Learn what to care about. Roommate wakes you up one day, let it go. Roommate steals your computer, go through the whole knife across the throat routine.</p>
<p>Tell your roommate for the get-go your rules and boundaries, and if they fail to follow it tell them that they will be reported. </p>
<p>Simple put your foot down. But don’t be overbearing.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t “set the rules” from the start (besides the obvious ones) because that might become a little awkward and enter the obsessive territory, but just learn to stand up for yourself when you need to.</p>
<p>for example:
the day before a large exam
roomie: “Hey, can you clean up our room? I’m bringing some people over later.”
you: <em>looking at the messy room</em> “I’ll try to clean up my side, but I’m kind of busy so I don’t think I’ll have time to, sorry.”</p>
<p>just put your foot down when you need to, but also make sure not to refuse doing things just for the sake of refusing them and “toughening up.”</p>
<p>and don’t worry; while self-assertion is a valued trait, generosity is as well. :)</p>
<p>I think your tone of voice matters.</p>
<p>I’m also the “nice guy” which sucks because sometimes people don’t take me seriously. Make sure you have a “normal” voice and a serious voice. I use the “carefree” tone too often… Make sure you start off with the characteristics you want to show. The first impression is very important.</p>
<p>thanks everyone!!! *i will do my best to put my foot down… im so scared that some of my stuff will get stolen/go missing esp. cause i lose stuff so often =S</p>
<p>but yeah, i will try to give a good first impression =D</p>
<p>Demand respect with a voice that could command a squadron of the most vile armed men!</p>
<p>If you’re not me, then speak in a cool, firm, collected voice.</p>
<p>uhhhhm… i dont want to seem scary!! LOL. but ok… cool collected but strong. gotcha. </p>
<p>thanks =]</p>
<p>LMAO. You sound exactly like me…Sometimes i feel like i’m a doormat.</p>
<p>But now I’m getting better & better at not being too nice. I’ve learned how to be kinda mean …and it’s actually…kind of…fun? specifically to the ppl i HATE…i will call out on them…it could get ugly…lol</p>
<p>bumble, I have the same problem :b</p>