<p>Subject: How To Communicate Effectively</p>
<p>I was inspired to write this for you as I was walking on college campus and witnessed a large crowd shouting and arguing with one another. So I decided to spectate in an attempt to see what this horrible dispute was about. The topic was of God, the Bible, religion, etc. The thesis of what Im writing for you isnt about the topic which was discussed, but about </p>
<p>HOW it was discussed. Personally I believe that both sides of the arguments attempts to get their point across to the other proved to be extremely futile. The discussion was useless. Why? A normal answer would insist that it is because of the fact that the opposing viewpoints were just too drastically different from each other and incapable of unification. Is that really the cause of why they couldnt effectively get their points across though? Why they were just wasting their most precious asset in life, which is their time, by not communicating effectively? Take a second to think about this on a much broader aspect.</p>
<p>In any discussion, its highly likely that you will have someone who has an opinion belief, thought, etc which differs from your own. However, what needs to be understood is that this is completely normal. Why is it normal? Simply because each individual on this planet resides in their own worlds, and no two worlds are exactly the same. Society (your family, environment, friends, professors, television, music, etc) might influence and shape a few </p>
<p>continents within your world, but you are the ultimate creator. You have the power to choose how it is shaped, created, and ruled. So every time you have a discussion with someone else or a group of people, two or more completely different worlds are actually colliding. So how can you possibly have a successful discussion with another world different from your own? How can you NOT waste your time (your greatest asset which must be used wisely) and ALWAYS communicate with others effectively especially when involved in a debate,dispute, argument? Allow me to answer these questions by first telling you what I seen today, then informing you of the faults. This is what I witnessed:</p>
<p>· The older guy, who held down one side of the dispute, stated, after a while by the way, basically that part of his purpose of speaking today was to inform everyone that we are all currently dammed to hell (or something like that).</p>
<p>Excluding my personal beliefs, I still find two things wrong with this. First off, his point wasnt established throughout the beginning of the dispute, nor the 15 minutes which I was there for. He was just voicing his opinions. Have you ever been speaking in a conversation, and you swore you were being understood, and someone asked you after a while, So whats your point?. In any debate, your point needs to be established to the other world(s) during the first few minutes of the conversation, and any speaking you do afterwards should be backing up your point. Pertaining to the other half:</p>
<p>· The students, who held down the other side of the dispute, were cursing, shouting, and ganging up on the older guy.</p>
<p>The second BIG mistake the older guy AND the students made when communicating with eachothers worlds was by disrespecting and insulting them.</p>
<p>You will never get your point across by disrespecting opposing viewpoints.
-Stefan Johnson</p>
<p>No matter what the topic may be, or what points people are trying to get across, it is important to both Acknowledge and Respect all opposing viewpoints, and then state your own in a friendly manner. Thats the key to effective communication with different worlds. People are more willing to hear what you have to say IF you listen, understand, and respect what they have to say. Listen, understand(or at least acknowledge), and respect are the three keys to getting your point across and having an effective discussion. Period.</p>
<p>Listening but not understanding, or acknowledging, leads to disrespect, which leads to a wasted conversation and a loss of your greatest asset.
-Stefan Johnson</p>
<p>I will end this with quick tips on how to listen, understand, and respect other worlds, therefore allowing you to always communicate effectively with others.</p>
<p>How to Listen: When an argument flares up, the wise man quenches it with silence.</p>
<p>You may not be aware of this huge secret when it comes to a conversation, but the most important thing to do when speaking with others is NOT TO SPEAK. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen to what others have to say before you attempt to speak, make your point, etc. Listening will put you on a spaceship in your world and allow you to enter theirs. Its important to see where theyre coming from, what its like in their shoes, etc.</p>
<p>How to Understand (Acknowledge): Comprehension of the opposition will always carry with it the solution to the problem.</p>
<p>You can understand a completely different world by first being open to it. Yes its important to establish your own beliefs and create your own world. As a matter of fact thats vital if you want to live a great life. But its also just as important however to be willing and open to learn from others no matter what their apperances or beliefs are. You can learn just as many lessons in life from a college professor, parent, or friend, than you can from a homeless man on the streets. Be open to other worlds and you will become a better person. </p>
<p>Knowledge is an unlimited source of power and every single world has beneficial knowledge to offer another. Another huge secret when it comes to a conversation is that when you dont understand whatever it is theyre trying to get across… You Can ASK politely! Its really that simple and constantly avoided. For example you can simply say, Excuse me, Im listening to what youre saying but I didnt quite understand that, can you please explain that further? 90% of the time you will receive, Sure Id love to! </p>
<p>You will see how easily an argument can turn into a simple discussion of opposing viewpoints by being polite, listening, and asking questions. You will also see how easily they will accept your viewpoint as well ;). The acknowledgement part is achieved by stating that you hear what theyre saying, or understand what theyre saying, etc.</p>
<p>Acknowledging others is crucial as well because people are more willing to listen and speak to those who listen, understand, and acknowledge what they have to say. Believe it or not its the truth. Even if you dont understand ones verbal language, you can pay close attention to body language, tone of voice, etc. I learned a lot of spanish that way :). Also, </p>
<p>remember that no matter what your age, financial status, or position in life, everyone is equally important. Dont begin to think that because someone speaks a different language, comes from a different city, has more or less than you in the form of finances or position, that they have more ultimate power than you. That is ridiculous. Always remember what the ultimate power is knowledge. And EVERYONE has this power which can benefit others.</p>
<p>How to Respect: When a man uses profanity to support an argument, it indicates that either the man or the argument is weak- probably both</p>
<p>Dont curse. Be polite, show courtesy at all times, and dont shout. The biggest mistake you can make in conversation is trying to speak over others. Remember that listening is the key. Respect their beliefs and opinions then voice your own. Respect goes a long way and opens up a lot of new doors to new worlds. Dont knock down another persons statements </p>
<p>before you make your own. You will realize that youll be wasting your time if you followed that method because they dont want to hear what you have to say. Everyone wants to feel important one way or the other. Its basic psychology. If you completely bash anothers opinion, your opinion is now worthless to that person. Remain respectful and positive at all times, and just watch how wonderfully you will get along with others, the amount of opportunites you will be blessed with, and much more.</p>
<p>These are the keys to effective communication. Every conversation should have a concluded agreement of some sort so time is not wasted. Arguments are a waste of time, and personally I dont believe in arguments at all. I simply believe in having discussions and I have been able to coincide with completely opposite worlds by implementing that into my life.</p>
<p>Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument is an exchange of ignorance</p>
<p>Wouldnt You Agree?</p>
<p>Rose Sawyers
Graduatirement Family
Graduate College and Retire Professionally…At The Same Time!</p>
I bet a lot of viewers started reading this thread and couldn’t make it to the end. I could have chopped it down to 3 succinct paragraphs.</p>