<p>Assuming they’re not some uniquely talented science whiz. Because how would they manage to stand out in their ECs and leadership if they hardly ever say anything. And what are their teachers going to write on their recommendations besides what grade they got in the course. Getting into the ivy leagues is difficult enough with good credentials and recommendations, and just getting good grades and test scores is merely a formality nowadays that doesn’t really decide whether you are admitted.</p>
<p>My opinion is that such “top” (vague) colleges want leaders that will contribute something to both the school and society. I think this will be harder to do if someone is very quiet or has anxiety. I can only think that it would be best to break out of his/her shell, if possible. It certainly wouldn’t help if rec letters only mentioned the the person’s grade.</p>
<p>You’re right … it’s harder to get into top schools without strong teacher recommendations, and it’s hard to get strong teacher recommendations if you’re quiet in class or don’t otherwise form a relationship with your teachers. Many public schools focus more on stats than the more intangible elements like recommendations and ECs, so you could consider that route. I imagine for someone with anxiety issues, though, that a smaller more supportive environment will probably be a better fit for you. If you haven’t done so, you should strongly consider seeing a therapist to address your anxiety issues. College is a time that could be anxiety-provoking, and you should look into how to handle it now. Many teens with anxiety disorders successfully conquer this by seeing a therapist and/or medication. There are therapies/medications out there where you can overcome any debillitating issues and allow you to actively participate in school and form meaningful relationships. Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>they simply dont get to private ones, but probally more so state ones that dont care much</p>
<p>They don’t.</p>
<p>My brother was a quiet kid, and he’s at an Ivy right now. He was more or less a math/science whiz, though, and he had great scores and grades and won a really big award.</p>
<p>Which is why I’m a little bit worried too. I’m definitely a quiet kid, so I’m nervous about those recs. My grades, scores, and ECs are very strong, but I know I’m not as as smart as my brother.</p>
<p>But if you think about it… at one of these huge top universities, there has to be a handful of shy kids going there, right? I mean, I highly doubt that every person at Yale is talkative and outspoken.</p>
<p>“I mean, I highly doubt that every person at Yale is talkative and outspoken.” Yeah, but I don’t recall tripping over many of them during my time there… Like Blackeyedsusan wrote: it’s difficult enough to get in to the ultra selective schools with every item in your app file being positive. Having lukewarm recs due to reticence and little to no demonstrated leadership ability and no ultra unique talent (science whiz, Olympic athlete, etc.), your file may well be drowned out amongst the other viable candidates. Good luck however. There are many, many fantastic schools besides these ultra selectives. Find the one that will you feel best about and go for it.</p>
<p>I also have to say that generally, they don’t. You already ruled out the science whiz angle, and if we extend that to include [any other activity] whiz/prodigy, it’s going to be very tough (maybe not possible?). Honestly, if this describes you, I would say that you have a choice to make–push yourself to change into a more typical candidate, or decide to stick with your guns and look primarily at other schools. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t describe myself as quiet, exactly (more introverted, but outspoken), so I didn’t have a problem getting good recs, but I had similar problems with my extras. Frankly, I didn’t want to be the leader/organizer, didn’t want to become involve with things that didn’t especially interest me, and, if I’m being honest to you and to myself, didn’t want to devote a huge portion of my time to extras. I’m the kind of person who need or at least really really wants downtime for myself, and I’m too fickle to easily develop passions. I had to make the choice that I described above, and I chose to make myself–and not an admissions counselor at Yale, or wherever–happy. As a result, I did not rack up a competitive extracurricular profile, and it showed come decision day–I didn’t get into Yale and Princeton, and got waitlisted by Columbia and Brown. Oh well. I think a few hours of disappointment trumps 4 years of doing a bunch of stuff I didn’t want to do. </p>
<p>But, in my opinion, it is narrow-minded to despair incredibly over this. I still got into Wellesley, among other places–being unable to gain admission to Yale is not the same as being relegated to a lousy, no-name school! Plus, although I’ll never know for sure, I suspect that had I wanted to, I could probably have gotten into some very top universities and/or colleges that accept between 13 and 28% of their applicants (the gap between Brown’s and Carleton’s (arguably the next most selective school on my list that I was admitted to) acceptance rates)–there are still Ivies in that range, although perhaps not for long. It’s impossible to know, of course, but it seems likely that I could have. So, my advice is to live your life the way that you see fit, and find a place that wants to have you–whether that place be HYP, or Wellesley, or your state school. </p>
<p>Disclaimer: This post is not intended to imply that all Ivy admits and/or extracurricular overachievers did their extras solely or even partially to gain admission to a particular school. Just to suggest that that would have been the case for me.</p>
<p>I also considered this when I was applying to colleges, as it seems wholly unfair that activities and leadership activities almost require some sort of charm or just general willingness to be loud and a people person.</p>
<p>Many awards, sports, competitions, etc are individual ones so being a quiet person is not really an excuse. Standing out depends on merit and people can get quite far with it. I doubt someone applying to a top college will be completely without some sort of talent. It is a bit more difficult, but gathering accomplishments and recommendations is not impossible. Teachers notice sincerity, hard work, and passion.</p>
<p>And I hate it when other fence quiet people into the math/science category. I know there are artists, writers, athletes who let their work and efforts speak for them. Colleges have a diversity of personalities (imagine if everyone was a “leader” type, it would be chaos) so don’t be discouraged.</p>
<p>If you’re comfortable with what you’ve been doing, then continue with what you do best. There’s no need to force yourself into the mold just for the sake of applications. Find your niche/talent and use that rather than half-heartedly throwing yourself into things.</p>
<p>There is a difference between being quiet and shy and being invisible. </p>
<p>I am basically shy and an introvert, and don’t talk as much as most people in my class. At times being in social situations even scares me. Last year (when I became a junior), I realized I had two choices: I could either do what I’d done throughout school, and just blend in and hope to pass unseen- or I could make an effort to do better. I chose the latter. </p>
<p>This doesn’t mean that I forced my whole personality to change. Not at all. I’m still shy and quiet, but have managed to get both some good leadership ECs, and gotten to know a few of my teachers well enough to be able to expect good recommendations from them. </p>
<p>Leadership is not about talking a lot. Being a loquacious person is not the same as being a good leader. I might not be that talkative, but I am reliable and responsible; hence, I was able to join the board of a large (300 member) club, and act as secretary. Getting that position was scary, but without being willing to do scary things, nothing is ever going to happen. And anyway, for me the thought of my own discust with myself at giving into that fear was worse than the fear of actually doing it. </p>
<p>As for not speaking up in class, that does not necessarily mean that you can’t get great recommendations. Firstly, I don’t think it’s the amount you say in class that matters as much as the quality of whatever you do say. Even if you only occasionally speak up, but on those occasions have relevant, insightful contributions, I don’t think the teacher will hold it against you that you don’t say stuff often. This has been my experience at least. Secondly, getting to know a teacher, and having a teacher get to know you, doesn’t have to take place in class. Because of not liking to speak in front of the whole class, I tend to go up to the teacher afterwards and ask questions I might have, or simply talk some. I find this much less intimidating than talking in front of everyone, especially if the teacher is someone I like and respect. So, despite being quiet in class, my teachers know me well. </p>
<p>I really don’t think being quiet should be that large a problem, as long as you’re willing to make an effort to do things that might, at first, seem a bit uncomfortable. It’s not bad to be quiet- quiet people are not inferior- and there is no reason why a less talkative person shouldn’t be able to reach the same goals (good leadership ECs, good teacher recs) as others; its just a matter of figuring out how to do it in other ways.</p>
<p>the only negative things about being quiet in applications are if they affect:</p>
<ul>
<li>Recommendations</li>
<li>Extracurricular Activities</li>
</ul>
<p>If you are strong in those, colleges treat u just like if ur the most talkative guy in the world, and see no evidence either that it is a negative trait. Mabye make recs sound like your “focused”? =</p>
<p>I have a lot of leadership Extracurricular activities, but don’t talk that much during class (so probably one teacher rec is going to be bad), is it still impossible for me to get into a top school?</p>
<p>Also, I highly doubt everyone in Princeton or Yale or any other ivy is extremely talkative and outgoing</p>
<p>mavsin, don’t listen to any of these ppl… A lot of the world’s smartest/world’s most talented people are socially awkward. </p>
<p>For example,
<a href=“http://youtube.com/watch?v=QxxbDhmJWiM[/url]”>http://youtube.com/watch?v=QxxbDhmJWiM</a></p>
<p>^ But it’s not a question about whether the world’s smartest people are socially awkward, it’s a question of whether the colleges will accept you or not if you are.</p>
<p>I think the advice here is really good - its the simple truth. He seems to be good enough, and colleges arent going to flip out just because of one small aspect of one teacher recommendation =</p>
<p>“Frankly, I didn’t want to be the leader/organizer, didn’t want to become involve with things that didn’t especially interest me, and, if I’m being honest to you and to myself, didn’t want to devote a huge portion of my time to extras.”</p>
<p>Indeed, the same goes for me really. If there’s one thing that most frustrates me about college admissions, is that top colleges look almost exclusively for “leaders”. But if everyone is forming their own clubs, being President of a bunch of groups, etc. then there is no one to follow. Leadership skills are helpful, sure, but you can’t force someone to be a leader. Anyway, as advantagious pointed out, it’s not the end of the world if some schools don’t want you. There’s nothing wrong with being a quiet person, even if it doesn’t help you in college admissions. I would brush it off and be yourself. You could even write an essay about your personality, making it into something unique and positive.</p>