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<p>I would take exactly the opposite tack. I would be thinking, “now what can I do for the next six months that would impress the heck out of an adcom?”</p>
<p>I second momrath’s nomination that you consult the counselors at cc. I haven’t had direct dealings with Dave Berry, but have with Sally Rubenstone. She is top quality. Not sure you can do any better than these two.</p>
<p>I agree with Andi. Her son has been through a lot and his gap year can be enjoyable and not planned with the sole thought of pleasing an admissions officer. The kid is well qualified for many schools. His list just needed some more matches and safeties. Swarthmore didn’t want him and the admissions office didn’t show any empathy, which one would expect from a school like Swat, even if there was no room for Andison. Swarthmore is a fine school, but there are ways that they could have eased the pain for Andi’s family and that wasn’t done. When S was rejected from some prep schools, we also saw a real difference in how the process was handled. A warm, personal call from an Admissions Director to me did a lot to keep my opinion of the school high, even though there was no place for my son there.</p>
<p>Respectfully disagree w/ interestdad. These adcoms have seen it all. Can’t imagine what more Andi’s son could do to impress the heck of them. He should do what feels right and comfortable for him, not what he thinks would please someone else.</p>
<p>Interesteddad - I’m hoping that whatever he decides it will be impressive to an admissions office. He’s not the type to sit around eating potato chips and watching Simpsons reruns. I don’t think we should look at our kids as if they’re dancing bears. I’m not going to try to make him into someone he’s not. If he decides to do a humanitarian service that would be great. But I do not think that community service/service to humanity should be a prerequisite for getting accepted to college. People do different activities at different stages of their lives. Jimmy Carter worked for Habitat for Humanity in his 70s. </p>
<p>I’m pretty tired of seeing affluent kids fly to various parts of the world to do humanitarian service for the glory of listing it on their CVs because they know that adcoms will eat it up. There are many ways and many times in life to contribute to the world. There’s a paradox in the fact that certain schools that aspire to diversity and service to the world will turn out to be the most closed-minded by making it the buzz word in admissions. </p>
<p>Andison received a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble for $25. He went there this afternoon and returned with two books. One is ‘Midnight’s Children’ by Salman Rushdie and the other is ‘The Tempest’ by Shakespeare. The latter he wants to read because he has been playing ‘The Tempest’ by Beethoven and he wants to decide for himself if Beethoven was inspired by the play or whether, as some think, he stuck the name on as an afterthought. </p>
<p>Sure, if he wanted to go to China or Africa, I would love it. But why would I want to change him? I think he’s great the way he is and if admissions people are too shallow to appreciate that it’s pretty pathetic. Some people may go out into the world and be inspired to come back and study ways to improve it- others may learn about the world through studies and then go out into it and try to improve it. Just my opinion.<br>
I hope that whatever he does will be fulfilling to him as well as the admissions people.</p>
<p>There is sooo much that can be done right here in the USA. In Boston, I am sure there are tons of programs that your son can get involved in. Sometimes, working close to home, not just for a week or month, but for months, a person can see a real difference. We do our volunteering on a local level. My D interns at City Hall. Its not paid, but she is learning alot. She feels good about herself. With your sons musical talents, i am sure he can find something he can do, paid or unpaid.</p>
<p>In our city, in some hotel lobbies, what appear to be college kids play the piano for tips. Its fun, they get practice, and people are entertained. Your son will find what works. It doesn’t matter at this point. If one volunteers, you can usually move into really interesting areas if you commit and are reliable. I know. If son does what he loves, he will be happier. It may be one big thing, or ten smaller things, whatever it is is okay. My nieces never really had a gap year per sei(sp?), they just spent 8 years in college. They needed to work almost fulltime the wholetime, and took classes wherever and whenever they could. They would go away for a semester, come back, go back, and many of their friends and classmates did the same thing. And many majors changed over time.</p>
<p>Working in restaurants, for friends, translating, tutoring, whatever. They were not alone either. It is amazing how many kids do parttime work and parttime school. They seem to be lacking nothing of the college experience, they just have a different one. </p>
<p>So look local, you will be suprised at what you find. My D takes acting classes, and they are always looking for musicians to help with practice for the musical classes and productions. </p>
<p>As for literature, school etc, tutoring is a real money maker. In SF, we will pay 50 an hour for someone to work with a child on reading, english, math, prep work whatever. Its always worth a shot. Easy money, and if the kid is a pain, ciao!!!</p>
<p>It will work out, and you never know what is someones destiny.</p>
<p>I don’t think your son’s choice of what to do in his GAP year should be done with the intent of what would impress adcoms. I would not ever advise to pick an activity with that in mind. Rather, I think it would be great if your son engaged in SOME worthwhile activity along the lines of an interest he has or an opportunity he always wished to do. WHATEVER the worthwhile experience is, I meant that it will add to his already interesting profile. That is more an upshot after the fact, but not what should drive his decision of what to choose to do. I don’t think his activity needs to be community service. I think it should be whatever he wishes to pursue…but SOMETHING of interest and something worthwhile. Perhaps your son does not like travel or an exchange (both a great thing to do when someone has this time available in their lives). If he chose to do something like that and money was an issue, I agree with the idea of doing this for half a year and paying for it with work the other half of the year. Other ideas are internships of some sort. I liked the the idea of being a musical accompaniest. Perhaps taking some courses locally might be combined with a job. There is undoubtedly a ton of ideas of what he could pursue. If he sees this as an opportunity or gift of time, there has got to be some things he always wished to do. Can he be an assistant teacher in some extracurricular music program in the area? Can he give piano lessons to younger kids? Would he enjoy living some place else for a bit? Exploring some passion? </p>
<p>It does not matter what he chooses but whatever it is, will likely also make his application interesting. If he just were to hang out at home and not do anything that definitive in this year off, that looks less interesting. But again, I would not pick something to do to impress the adcoms. I simply meant that adcoms would wonder how the year off was spent and so this is not unlike the wondering how does a kid spend his extracurricular time or summers. They would look at the pursuit of an interest or activity and the depth of the commitment and what was gained, any achievement perhaps, any initiative…etc. Who cares WHAT it is. Only YOUR SON can say what he wants that to be. He should pick what he wants to do. I mostly meant that an adcom would be interested in a GAP year experience if the kid did something defining or explored something, anything. It only adds to whatever he has done in the first eighteen years. It adds another level to his profile, that’s all. </p>
<p>I’m glad you are going to consult a college counselor because I think it would help for you to get outside perspective…on a balanced list, plus having several favored schools he’d be happy at…and to have someone look over the application with an objective critical eye and how to present him a bit differently (not saying his app was not great the first time but what is to lose by a fresh approach?). I also think the adcoms will look at what he chose to do with his year off and whatever he has chosen, should be mentioned and highlighted and hopefully will demonstrate the pursuit of SOMETHING, anything. </p>
<p>Susan</p>
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<p>I don’t think adcoms eat up “bought and paid for service or travel experiences”.</p>
<p>I think a suburban kid would get a lot more mileage out of a City Year Boston program in Roxbury.</p>
<p>If your S does a Gap Year, he will discover that it is hard to impress adcoms with ‘future’ activities; ie Gap Year activities that happen after Jan 1, after the apps are sent in.</p>
<p>And as the parent of an affluent kid who flew to Africa and China, I promise you that he did it because he wanted to see those parts of the world becasue those places are hard to get to in the space of a two week vacation. He also did it because he wanted to experience daily life in those countries–not because he was impressing adcoms. Pulllleeeeze. All of his travel took place after December, his apps were in. </p>
<p>S had a natural Gap Year because he graduated in November the year before he started university. We gave him a list of 100 things he could do for Gap Year–including a number of hometown activities. The only thing he couldn’t do: live at home.</p>
<p>He has a passion for travel and he chose Africa and China and London.</p>
<p>I don’t think that andison needs look to more “safeties.” All I have heard, he deserved to be in the schools he chose. It was terrible luck and a fluke that caused this situation. Looking at lesser schools isn’t the answer here. The answer lies in what he has to do in the application process to get into the (even better that Swath) schools he chooses for next year. I don’t think I would reapply there, however. The treatment we received from the FA at UofCh was one of the reasons my D turned them down. Her comment was, “if they treated us this was now, what will the next 4 years be like?” The adcoms are the frontline of the school, the first people you deal with and interact with, and establish the “feel” of the school. If the treatment was this cold, then what support will andison get the next 4 years? There are other schools of the same caliber or better than Swath out there, where he can apply and they will love to have him! Isn’t it better to go where you are truly wanted than where they already mistreated you? I know andison is in love with Swath, but my D was in love with another school (1st choice and she was rejected in the EA slaughter), then she really wanted UofCh, where she was accepted, but the $ just wasn’t there, and now she is in love with her chosen school, that treated her beautifully, early write, phone call from the Prez, and they paid for her to come to admitted student weekend. A school that your son will love is out there, andi, and they will treat him with the respect he so much deserves. When that happens, you will know it is right. And when he has his concert at Carnegie Hall, and we all go to hear him, he can thumb his nose at Swath, and thank his new school and teachers.</p>
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<p>Boy, I don’t agree with that analysis.</p>
<p>Seems to me that Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Columbia, UPenn, Swarthmore, UWash, and Oberlin is a pretty ambitious college list with little or no room for error.</p>
<p>There was only one school even remotely in the solid match category (Oberlin), but even that was dicey applying as a music kid to a school with one of the country’s top conservatories. If there’s a school in the country where Interlochen kids in the applicant pool are a “dime a dozen”, it’s Oberlin.</p>
<p>This list was even more problematic because it’s the same list that kids from every affluent suburban Boston-area high school grabs off the mimeograph machine in the guidance office (Perhaps swapping Williams for Swarthmore or Duke for UWash or Dartmouth for UPenn). For example, three kids from Andison’s class got into Swarthmore and probably a couple more from the high school in the next town over and the next town over from that. They are only going to take so many from a 10 mile radius along RT-128.</p>
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<p>Other than the fact that they waitlisted him instead of accepting him, I’m still trying to understand the “mistreatment” part. I probably wouldn’t apply to ANY of the schools that had failed to accept me the first time around, just on general principle. “their loss!”. But, I wouldn’t call it “mistreatment”. By that definition, all these schools “mistreat” somewhere between 3 out of 4 and 9 out of 10 of their applicants.</p>
<p>I have to agree with IDAd. These were not solid matches, not because andison didn’t have the numbers, but simply because they can’t be considered safeties for anyone. Oberlin is the only school with a greater than 25% admission rate, and as noted by others, the music application may have made the overall admission rate deceptive (I am clueless on this, just going by some other comments). </p>
<p>andison is, I believe, a solid candidate at all of the schools to which he applied, and I would urge him to re-apply to those on his list that he wants to. But to say he deserved admission is, unfortunately, overstating things, because they aren’t safeties and they aren’t even matches – for nearly ANYBODY. I would strongly suggest looking back over andi’s original “What Went Wrong” thread and others, which had a number of good suggestions for safeties and likely admits.</p>
<p>Cheers Hopefully you didn’t think I was referring to your s- I don’t think you did- as I didn’t know he had gone to those countries. Sounds like a fantastic adventure, which he wanted to do because he has a passion for travel. I’m referring to a certain brand of Boston metro kids “some” of whom do community service for less than altruistic reasons. As 40 hours of service are required to graduate, a lot of kids just ‘do’ stuff to get it signed off. Creates a certain amount of cynicism in their peers. I’m not meaning to scoff at humanitarian service it’s just become one of those hot buttons for me because I see too much bs in that regard around here. </p>
<p>I’ve printed out the suggestions for gap years, which CC’ers have pm’d me or posted, and left them in a pile for andison. A lot of adventurous people on this site! And thanks for the suggestions :)</p>
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How much more clear can the lesson of andison’s experience in April be???!?? Respectfully join interesteddad and emphatically but respectfully disagree with evitajr1. To me it is just this way of thinking - that all but the uber-selectives are “lesser” - that can land a great kid like andison where he is in the first place. Lessons: [ul][<em>]Find schools you love in all ranges of selectivity. [</em>]If you can’t find schools you love which are other than the most selective, re-examine what is really driving your thinking. [<em>]Find school(s) you love which have early or rolling admissions.[</em>]Realize what each school needs from you to get into the “Yes” pile, whether it be demonstrated interest; just the rights stats or whatever [<em>]Move hell or high water to obtain an outside review (adcom preferably, top track-record GC second choice) of andison’s 2005 app package[</em>] Do NOT, under any circumstances, fall in love with ONE dream school[/ul] Most of this has been said over and over and applies to everyone. In a case like andison’s, I think the outside review is also critical.</p>
<p>While I like the idea that the Admissions Office is a view into what the college culture is like, I don’t think that’s really true. Once you’re into a school, the adcom is history to you. Let your contact with students/faculty, your visits, your research into the schools programs guide your perception of how you will like it there, not how the Admissions Office functions.</p>
<p>Also agree with safeties, particularly rolling admissions. Andison needs a few early acceptances to restore his self esteem, so he can be making the choice, not be at the mercy of the schools!</p>
<p>I absolutely agree that Andison’s new college list should include a broader sampling from the many great colleges out there. Don’t apply to places he would never go to, but at the same time, be more open to the many wonderful programs at non-Ivy schools. This sad story has been an eye-opener to all future applicants.</p>
<p>Just recently, my friend was ranting about the discrimination against smart white males, as her son was not admitted anywhere. I asked where he had applied. Now, granted this kid is brilliant, top of his class at a well-known private school…but he applied only to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Dartmouth and UPenn (as a safety). I could not even stammer out a response. He then applied as a rolling candidate to our State School in April, and was accepted.</p>
<p>Good luck Andison, I truly wish you the best.</p>
<p>Hhmmm…I have a few thoughts that I feel compelled to share…these are gut reactions to the last two pages of posts… as usual, I will try and float a thought and then back it up with personal observations from my own experiences…I hope this is useful…</p>
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<li><p>take the personal out of it…Swarthmore didn’t do anything to mistreat Andison…or Andi… Swarthmore is known for their high ED acceptance rate…so, the sooner an applicant indicates their preference for Swat the better…in this instance, the lobbying is increasing as the application cycle is shutting down, or even closed. Andison needs to make a decision in the near future if he is going to apply ED to Swat this fall. </p></li>
<li><p>understand that almost every single school lets their admissions folks have time off NOW… the response, while it may sound like DMV, sounds to me like Swat has basic staff sending out canned responses because there is no one with authority in the office. The life of an admission officer is extremely difficult, a lot of travel, long hours of reading and trying to identify great kids who want to come to their school. They ramp up in early fall with roadtrips…they start reading the early apps as soon as they start coming in…and they are not really done until the middle of June when the waitlists shut down… with minor adjustments for summer melt. </p></li>
<li><p>what distresses me is that it sounds like there really has not been much effort in planning the “gap year” since April…Andi mentions that her son was sitting in a chair the other day with paper and pencil writing down some thoughts of what he wants to do…and he was not communicating those thoughts to her. It is almost July 1st…3 MOS of the gap year are gone…with no better understanding of what he is going to do then on April 1st when the tsunami of bad news hit. </p></li>
<li><p>I am in complete agreement with InterestedDad…if college is important to this child, then I would scrap this list of schools and start over. I would “do the math” to begin to understand what the likelihood is of standing out in any school’s applicant pile. Don’t DO the gap activities for admissions officers…but keep them in mind if these activities are needed for differentiation. I don’t know if you read The Gatekeepers, or A is for Admissions…it is all a very big business and you must understand and accept that to be successful in the big league. </p></li>
<li><p>there is an underlying theme to some posts that brains/talent trump athletes, brains/talent trump humanitarian efforts etc. I have a nagging perception that a lot of Andison’s eggs are in one basket… and while it may be true that schools are looking to build well-rounded classes, not focusing on well-rounded kids… it may actually explain why andison was not accepted at his application list. He was a typical smart piano playing kid who has a passion for classical music. My oldest took piano lessons alongside a bunch of extremely talented kids, many Asians in the group. They would get up and play long classical pieces, my guy would get up an rip off a 3 or 4 minute jazz piece. He was never as good as them…but I was happy he was playing, learning and exercising his brain. But, classical piano/music is just not enough to differentiate oneself. Maybe the defenses have been up for years, perhaps Andi and Andison do live in a very competitive area… but, the defenses need to come down and they must recognize that there are millions of extremely talented kids…and that there are hundreds of schools in New England alone that provide a background for all sorts of growth…mentally, physically, socially etc etc. I was at an 8th grade graduation service the other day… a child received the Secretary of State award for Citizenship. You would not believe the resume this kid has… top honors for grades, finalist in state geography bee, jazz group, chorus, track, soccer, drama lead, math team, civil rights, soup kitchen, winter weekends learning to become a ski instructor… very involved with his church… and oh by the way, my son’s best friend. So I know this kid really well…he is very smart, really talented, LOVES to read, and a lot of fun to be around. He always sounds like he is happy to see me, or to take a call when I phone their home…and I am a parent… his joy of life is evident to anyone and everyone… and he is only in the 8th grade. My point is that there are a lot of really great kids out there who are your son’s competition for the rest of life. My son does not make the same choices as his friend. But, I bet that just hearing his friend’s resume the other day will inspire my own child to be more proactive. I hope…along with my own leading by example. </p></li>
<li><p>Andi, you said you need your life back. I TOTALLY agree with that… I don’t know if there is an Andidad…or Andifriends…or Andigirlfriend… but, there seems to be a vacumn in your posts about friends and joy and what Andison does for others. Yes, practicing and playing the piano takes hours…but understand that dedicating HOURS and HOURS to a life alone at a piano could in fact be indicative of a kid who is not finding peer acceptance…and this may be coming thru in what the guidance office or the recommendation letters are saying. Even though they were glowing, sometimes it is what is not said in an application that can sink an applicant. If not one mentions his contribution to the community (any community, not just school) then they pick up on the fact that the applicant is a taker and not a giver. You mention that you were not going to tell him about this latest reply from Swat… and while it might be ok to sit on it for a day or so until his mood is not completely raw… it is not fair to deny him information or status on his own options. You cannot run interference for him any longer. He has to own his plans…he may be a very late bloomer…but he has to accomodate others in his actions and plans…and if he doesn’t, then he will flounder for a while or for a lifetime. (I am speaking from experience…a sibling who has a lot of potential…but also has a penchant for immediate satisfaction and inability to stay responsible for long. Our parents died when he was a college freshman… he was at a school way out of his league…he got in on an athletic advantage… it was a huge mistake, way in over his head academically. But, the truth is that the decision to go there was extremely well intended… our dad only wanted the best for him…not realizing that his son needed an environment where he could at least be a peer.) Back to you and your life, you said you are going to hire a professional… let it go and let them develop a plan of action going forward. Do not expect this professional to tell you what went wrong… focus on the future… choose to delight in his choices… don’t measure him or you by others choices or even the options they had that your son didn’t… maybe even build YOUR own gap plan. What are YOU going to do for the next year for yourself…so that when YOU are an entire year older, you will have something for you…a new skill, better fitness, improved ability in something you have always loved and want to do better in yourself. Get yourself a few more baskets to put eggs in… </p></li>
<li><p>finally, let go of the disappointment and frustration and anger. It is what it is…celebrate every day with what is good… count a few blessings every nite before you go to sleep… Andison will do what he wants… you cannot do it for him…so, try to find your own joy… you may both benefit from your autonomy. I apologize if I am too candid or harsh in my comments… it is a gut feeling that drives my comments and while I know our intentions to love and protect our kids comes from good, sometimes it really is just tooo much. I don’t know you, I don’t know Andison…but my emotional intelligence is triggering a need to speak up. I really do wish Andison success in his future…however HE defines it.</p></li>
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<p>Maineparent:
I have enjoyed your posts this year (and could possibly be at the point where I need to quit the CC habit myself and plan my future year sans senior to focus on…) but gee I think it is pretty OK that Andi and son are not quite done with feeling disappointed…waiting lists only closed this past week. I think it is a bit of a leap to talk about vacuums…we don’t tend to give full blown descriptions of our kids’ social beings on this forum. My son’s graduation gown still drapes over a chair and the cards and stuff are still all over the mantel…we will all “move on” in terms of parental separation soon enough, but graduations haven’t even happened in some parts of my state. I have to admit I think it is still AOK to not have been able to address the Gap Year plan just yet.<br>
However, I am sure andi will take some of your well-meant and good advice to heart. She has handled our attentions/critiques and advice with more grace than I would have been able to muster.</p>
<p>The assumption seems to be somehow that a safety school by definition offers an inferior education. I don’t see why. Beyond a certain point, selectivity adds nothing to academic quality (actually, it might detract from it as it attracts the hyper-competitive - and the very rich).</p>
<p>Speaking personally, I wondered why Swarthmore (an absolutely wonderful school!) was so high on the list to begin with. I can name three dozen schools with better music departments, and where the rest of the academic program isn’t exactly chopped liver. It is a decent choice, but certainly not the be-all-and-end-all. (I realize that it wasn’t initially the focus of such heavy attention, and that this was a result of the WL status.)</p>
<p>I don’t think they acted inappropriately. The worst thing is to hold out hope when there is so little. Canned responses are the best way to insulate both the admissions staff AND the applicant from inappropriate responses, and even worse feelings.</p>
<p>If it were me, I’d make a new list. Not that I think the previous schools were bad, but I’d want to feel like I moved on. Of course, if Andison feels differently, then he should go for it! Good luck!</p>
<p>Maineparent your post was full of many of the same thoughts I (as a lurker) have. Very well said and very helpful I believe. Just wanted you to know.</p>