<p>For 6 years, all I had to do was say, “Isn’t it time to clean out the guinea pig cage?” and sure enough, a week later, S did it. I had been uber-firm with the warning: if I ever have to clean that cage, the GP is outahere. Fortunately he believed me (I never would have really done that). </p>
<p>Now the zoomaster is a freshman, far away. So it’s finally my turn to clean the cage.</p>
<p>When the youngest began caring for these critters, he was in 6th grade, and his big brother and sister were leaving home. We felt so sorry for him that when a teacher colleague of mine wanted to give away her D’s guinea pig (allergies) I took on one little female. </p>
<p>Then one day, while I was cleaning the house for Passover, the S comes up with the little female, who looked all lumpy. He said, “I think she’s pregnant.”</p>
<p>“How?” I asked. “She lives alone. We talked about this, right?”
Still, she did look all wide. </p>
<p>“Get on the internet and find out about the gestation period of guinea pigs,” I barked. He came back with the answer: “5 or 6 weeks.”</p>
<p>“Okay, now son, what was going on 5 or 6 weeks ago?” He ran to the calendar, and saw that it was the Purim Carnival at his Hebrew Day School.
“I brought her to school for the carnival.”</p>
<p>“Aha. Tell me more.”</p>
<p>“Well, Jeffrey brought his guinea pig, too. We had them in a race. We drew a big chalk circle on the floor, put the 2 pigs in the middle, and all the kids bet on which one would get to the edge of the circle first.”</p>
<p>“That shouldn’t have made her pregnant.” I didn’t want to go into a discussion of Immaculate Conception and other miracles. These things just don’t happen at a Hebrew Day School, anyway.</p>
<p>Then, a long silence. “Oh. I wondered what Jeffrey’s guinea pig was doing, jumping on mine in between the races.”</p>
<p>“Wait, I thought you said Jeffrey’s was a girl, too.”</p>
<p>S ran to the telephone. Jeffrey’s family was in Florida. He called long-distance and demanded an accounting that included a more careful examination.</p>
<p>“Mom, Jeffrey says it turns out his guinea pig is a boy, after all.”</p>
<p>“Great, so now, call Jeffrey’s family and tell them what happened, and maybe we can share the responsibility for finding homes for the little babies on the way.” </p>
<p>I can’t characterize the next conversations, except to say that within l0 minutes my S learned the meaning of “dead-beat dad.” They had no interest in helping us.</p>
<p>Flash forward a few weeks, and we have 4 little babies – 2 boys and 2 girls-- and a proud mama.</p>
<p>A friend of ours was willing to take a boy, so that left us with 2 baby girls and a baby boy. Not wanting to have the boy reproduce with his sister or mom, we called our Veterinarian, who unbelievably could neuter a guinea pig, using very tiny tools.</p>
<p>H paid $75, but on the way out of the vets saw another child who admired the creature. He handed the neutered male over to the family for free. My S howled in protest that he now had “only” 3 guinea pigs left to raise, all girls.</p>
<p>So those are the 3 he has cared for, since 6th grade. He did such a good job, caring for them beautifully. He used it to make his case, in 9th grade, that he could get us a dog and help train it, in preparation for the empty nest to come in a few years. In came the dog.</p>
<p>The 3 girl guinea pigs had a nice life, and at times reminded me of the aunts in Arsenic and Old Lace, just chattering away.</p>
<p>In S’s last year of high school, 2 of these ladies died, and we told him to be proud because they exceeded life expectancy, perhaps thanks to his diligent care all those years.</p>
<p>Now there’s this last one left, and I feel like she’s mine until…</p>
<p>So I put off cleaning out that cage for weeks, until finally tonight I just had to do it. My goodness, I miss my son. Both the old gals…she and me…are doing okay, but a bit lonely, too.</p>
<p>Anyone else left behind with just the pets???</p>