<p>A friend of mine had a late baby (boy) when her son was entering highsschool. I can remember that toddler perched on big brother’s shoulder for years. The girls loved them both and I think it worked as date-bait for the older boy. He had a wing-man.</p>
<p>To look at him at first, you’d think he was a young dad, but then he’d say it was his baby brother, so awwww, isn’t that cute how he takes care of the little guy! Date-bait.</p>
<p>In my H’s family there is a 17 year span across 5 brothers, with 5 years separating each of the older 2, then came the last 3 within a year of each other. </p>
<p>What I notice is, as middle aged men all, the younger three bridle at the older two when they reminisce about their remembered lifestyle, when parents were very active and (in their case) times much happier. There seems to be two sets of nostalgia going, with the younger ones hearing incessantly from the older ones, not really getting how much things had changed for the younger three. </p>
<p>The youngest kids in that family, as well as my own, are truly gracious and compassionate about physical limitations of their parents, as they never knew them tossing them up on their shoulders. The idea that a late-born baby is “my comfort in old age” may have some merit.</p>
<p>My mother’s siblings --brothers-- were 9 and 11 years younger than her. When her younger brother was born, she wouldn’t look at him for day because she had wanted a sister.</p>
<p>In adulthood, they became best friends.</p>
<p>I know other people who are very close to sibs who are much younger than they are. That closeness often seems to happen in adulthood.</p>
<p>ScottieMix,
My kids are 20 years apart. I have raised 2 “only” children, it is nice to focus on one child, no sibling rivalry to deal with. My S’s daughter loves having very young auntie.</p>
<p>My wife and I, both born in 1951, had our first two kids at 18 (1969), fraternal twins. Boy and girl. Our kids are 43. Then a little whoopsie in September of 1994 gave us our now 16 year old. 27 year age difference. One of the hugest gaps</p>
<p>OMG, Dowsiewuwu, please do not take this the wrong way, but I believe I would have rolled over and died if I’d had a “whoopsie” like that. I’m obviously selfish because I, at the age of 49, am thinking how happy I am that DD (only child) is 22 and on her own now. I would have welcomed more children when she was young, but an ectopic pregnancy meant emergency surgery and I never got pregnant again. </p>
<p>There is a sixteen year difference between my dad and his sister. She is just eight years older than me so she and I are more like siblings than the two of them.</p>
<p>Congrats! All 3 of my cousins in one family had “bonus” babies in the same year. All 3 were girls & close to one another as their moms were. It seemed to work out for them and their individual & extended families.</p>
<p>I come from a large family–6 sibs. There is a 12 year age gap between the oldest & the youngest but they are closer to one another than they are with any of the rest of us. It’s interesting that both my older sister and younger brother share a lot of the same values and tastes. Additionally, he’s not that much older than her girls, who also enjoy their uncle who is “cool.” My oldest niece just turned 30–her youngest uncle is only 15 year years older than her.</p>
<p>Relationships are interesting. I am closest to the relatives (by birth and marriage) who have the personalities most compatible to my own. I try to limit my time around my higher maintenance folks, whether or not we’re related–dislike drama.</p>
<p>My B & S are 11 and 16 years older than me respectively. My own two boys are 7 years apart. None of us or my Ss are particularly close. I have very little in common with my own sibs although we get along. There’s just not much to say. My two have such different personalities. I don’t think they’ll ever be particularly close either. </p>
<p>It’s important not to automatically consider the older one a free babysitter. Babysitting duties shoudl be discussed and paid for beyond what might be minimally agreed upon. Once S1 learned to drive, he was delighted to chauffeur his little brother or do errands for me that involved driving. Also get a babysitter for you to participate in the older child’s hs activities. At times, it’ll be cute to have a little one, but taking a fussy toddler to concerts or other performances that the older one is involved in can be an annoyance.</p>
<p>It wasn’t exactly something that we were laid back about. Having a kid in our 40s wasn’t exactly something we were planning. Luckily our kid came out without any genetic deformities. We were extremely worried. We had our kids at 18 because we wanted to start early and that was going to be that. No more kids. We had grandkids before we had our last child, and we thought we were done, but it’s better having a kid at 43 than 14. Trust me, a 25 (my original math was wrong) year age gap was not intentional.</p>
<p>I am 13 years older than my sister; my brother-in-law is 13 years older than HIS sister. In both our cases, these are wonderful relationships. I was neither a real sibling to my sister – no competition/rivalry, plus I left for college when she was 5 – nor a real authority figure because I just kind of… spoiled her rotten Having a little one in the house made coming home from college fun - because kids can be really fun. I was the one who took her to Disneyland for the first time. I taught her how to spray whipped cream directly from the container into her mouth. I bought her her first high heels. We’re still very close, but more like friends than sisters. </p>
<p>My brother-in-law wasn’t as close as I was to his much-younger sister. But by the time she was in high school, and he well out of grad school, they became such good buddies he once took her to Hawaii for 3 months, where he was spending the summer (he’s a college prof.) He paid all expenses. She did much of his cooking, something she loved to do anyway. </p>
<p>A win-win situation. Just like may prove to be in your family, OP.</p>
<p>One of our neighbors was happily planning her lawyer/son’s marriage. He was 26 at the time. She got the flu…yeah, for a month. The rabbit died. (She was “so old” that they used that term when she had her first.) Husband mid 50s, wife…we don’t admit to an age here. There were three problems: health of baby. (fine). Ensuring the custody of the baby in case something happened to the parents because was in his mid/late 50s. And, they did postpone the wedding because the son wasn’t, in his words, “going to walk down the aisle with his mother knocked up.”</p>
<p>Other than that, things were fine. Challenges yes, but with age came enough money to take care of many of the challenges.</p>
<p>congrats! My two are 7 years apart and they truly love and watch out for each other. After your D gets over the initial shock, and probabaly “ick” factor (in her mind) she will adore the new member of your household.</p>
<p>I’m 17 and a few months away from graduating high school. Two months ago, my dad died when he was hit by a car. My stepmom recently told my 19-year-old brother and I that she was 9 weeks pregnant with the child she and my dad were trying to have before he died. I also have a 7-year-old stepsister. </p>
<p>I’m afraid that when I leave home and go to college 2000 miles away, I’ll just never see my family anymore. My stepsister and I get along great, but she won’t remember me all that well if I’m only around for Christmas. And with a little brother or sister on the way, my stepmom might even not want me or my brother around that much. My brother is already in college, so we’ve gotten used to only seeing him every so often. He doesn’t even like kids that much, and can barely stand my stepsister, so he probably won’t care if he doesn’t see the family that much. </p>
<p>Overall, I’d say the 10 years between me and my stepsister hasn’t really been an issue. I just feel bad that I won’t get to see her all that often. I actually plan to stay in constant contact with my family when I leave home, so I hope that the 18 years between me and my little unborn sibling won’t be an issue either…</p>
<p>Whether it’s an issue or not depends on how much you wish to make it one. Since you want to keep in touch, can you set up a Skype account with your mom and teach her & your stepsister how to use it? That can help you keep in touch and let them share your life even though you may be away from home. You could even choose to attend a U closer to home so you could visit more often, if there is one that might work well for you. There are a lot of options and I’m sure your mom, stepsister and little baby sib will be happy that you’re choosing to keep connected.</p>
<p>I know a woman who had two children, they were around the age of leaving for college (late teens) and she became pregnant with change-of-life triplets. No joke.</p>
<p>zestybillie - You have a great attitude. Using Skype, as HImom said, you can keep in close contact with your 7yo stepsister and stepmom. My college freshman and 12yo D skype frequently. An occasional card or letter from you to her will also help. It will be harder to develope a close relationship with the baby, but just make the effort and when the baby grows up s/he will have fond memories of you.</p>
Having a little one in the house made coming home from college fun - because kids can be really fun. I was the one who took her to Disneyland for the first time. I taught her how to spray whipped cream directly from the container into her mouth. I bought her her first high heels. We’re still very close, but more like friends than sisters. </p>