<p>My son was invited to a hunting party. Two dads at a farm, overnight, with two rifles and 8-10 boys. Most of the boys have been hunting with their fathers before but not mine. I said “no” and got reamed by the host who felt that I was implying there wouldn’t be enough supervision. (which I didn’t feel there would be). I spoke to quite a few friends who agreed with me. I didn’t think it was a great idea. Would you send your son?</p>
<p>No, I wouldn’t. But then I abhor hunting and don’t think anyone but the police or armed forces has any need to have a gun. I can’t imagine any responsible adult planning such a party for 13 year olds, or any responsible parent allowing their child to attend. I think you absolutely made the right choice in saying no.</p>
<p>I don’t have any sons, but my husband hunts, and I, too, think you made the right decision.</p>
<p>Handling guns is something to be done responsibly, and with only two adults and so many boys, this arrangement doesn’t sound sufficiently responsible.</p>
<p>You did the right thing IMO.</p>
<p>8-10 * 13 yr olds?*
so soon after we have already established that * old men* can’t keep track of each other during a hunting party?</p>
<p>dke~</p>
<p>My dh is an avid (and an extremely careful and conscientious) bird hunter, and I have three sons, two of whom have hunted with him at different times (one is still too young). There is NO WAY that either of us would be comfortable with that situation. </p>
<p>Somehow, I cannot fathom how hunting would make an appropriate theme/activity for a thirteen-year-old’s party!? What sane parent would even WANT to take on that type of responsibility? IMHO, if the parent were responsible enough to handle that, then he would also be aware enough of the inherent dangers of rifle hunting and also the inherent nature of 13-year-olds that he would come to the inevitable conclusion that this is a BAD idea…a sort of Catch-22.</p>
<p>And furthermore, what kind of “host” would “ream” a declining guest? THAT ALONE would raise a serious red flag to me. OMG.</p>
<p>So, rest assured that you made the right decision. I wouldn’t have even considered it, and I would have expected my decision to be accepted with appropriate graciousness. ~berurah</p>
<p>Two dads is enough to supervise two guns, but not enough to supervise 10 boys. Hunting is, by its very nature, a little unpredictable. </p>
<p>My husband and son run a rifle training program at our YMCA. It is for target shooting only (more controlled as shooting only takes place on a given shooting line) and each child must have an adult present. Even then, some of the dads and boys do stupid things that are potentially dangerous to themselves or others. </p>
<p>Also, saying you are hunting might seem macho to a young boy, but actually killing might be traumatic for a kid who never actually did it. </p>
<p>For many reasons, I think you made the right decision.</p>
<p>thanks for all of your comments. It’s the sort of thing where I’m the only parent who straight out says, “no”, where the other mothers are all calling each other and worrying but going along with it. The dads think its macho cool and are all for it. I just know what’s safe for my family and have to stick to my guns (no pun intended, oops!) on this sort of thing! Your comments are especially helpful in that there are a number of you who are familiar with guns and hunting and still think this sort of “party” isn’t a good idea. I might add that I think the dads probably had a few pops as well…great combo!</p>
<p>I can’t imagine those two dads wanting the LIABILITY of having ten boys along while they are hunting. Bad idea. You’re right to stick to your, um, guns, and I think this is something easily explained to your son, due to safety. Two dads with two boys, different story. Even THEN, I’d want a boy who never did it, to have attended a hunting safety course.</p>
<p>soozie is right. I try to avoid providing legal advice outside of my well-defined walls, but if ANY of my friends or acquaintances asked for my opinion I would not hesitate to tell them that they were absolutely out of their minds.</p>
<p>The host said that he had this type of party with his “Daddy” and was incenses that I was concerned about safety. H and I just figure that there’s no way to argue with people who have completely different values on this sort of thing. I didn’t appreciate being called on the carpet by him for my decision, though!!</p>
<p>The remark about liability brought to mind something. When we purchased a swing set years ago (for the same son) someone said to us that we’d better go out and buy a personal umbrella insurance policy in case someone’s kid got hurt and the parents sued us. We thought that was hysterical initially, but when we started asking around everyone said that of course they had one, that several suits had been filed on families around the area…We’re talking swingsets here…wonder what the gun totin’ family would say about that!</p>
<p>His “Daddy” may have also introduced him to alcohol and women as rights of passage. I wouldn’t want that for my son. I also agree with lkf, a kill could be traumatic for him and how perfectly awful to be in the midst of macho men who might not understand.</p>
<p>Anyone holding a party supervised by only 2 adults for 8 - 10 13 year old boys should be suspect (whether or not there are rifles). Even 5 13 year olds (without rifles) have done me in.</p>
<p>I have no sons, one daughter and a husband who has never hunted and has no desire to do so. I have a sister who has a husband and three sons who hunt as much as allowed during season. They live in a very rural area of Indiana and they eat what they hunt. My nephews were given guns and knives at a very early age and I have always worried about them. They are very responsible boys, but I can’t help but worry about them riding around on their ATVs with guns and knives. They live a totally different lifestyle than we do in that respect, so I cannot understand it. I absolutely agree that you are doing the right thing by not allowing your son to attend this party. Two dads, two guns and eight to ten boys does not sound like a good mix at all. Hang in there … you are right!</p>
<p>Does your son want to go or would he be relieved if you said no for him? (My guess is the later, if he doesn’t know how to shoot a rifle already–no 13-year-old wants to appear incompetent in front of his friends.)</p>
<p>I wouldn’t let either of my children go to something like that at age 13–and they did know how to shoot a rifle at that age (summer camp is an amazing thing—one summer and your kids come home and they’ve learned how to kayak and shoot a rifle).</p>
<p>One boy to one adult is the right ratio.</p>
<p>Dmd77, we were bracing ourself for a major uproar when we decided that he couldn’t go. Ironically, he took it pretty well, and ended up going golfing with H…My son also learned riflery at camp, but I don’t think he knows as much as he thinks he does about safety issues. It almost gave him a false sense of security. Last year we had a "conversation’ with this same father about guns because at a school party (with parents around and about 80 kids) his son pulled out a rifle, ran into the woods and shot a turkey. My son was with him and we almost had a heart attack. There aren’t words to describe how upset we were. A year later (last week) I find out that we weren’t the only upset parents, but at the time the father made it out as if we were the only ones who were upset.</p>
<p>I don’t even get the rationale of this as a birthday party. It makes more sense if a friend and his dad invited a friend to go hunting with them, and that would be the maximum number. Having that number of kids to supervise while toting and shooting guns is a recipe for accidents, injuries or worse. Who would want to take on that responsibility…outta their minds. </p>
<p>I truly believe this is the kind of thing that you can stick to your guns about with your son because it is a safety issue and crosses your boundaries. I know when my kids have asked to do something that compromises their safety, it is easier to make a case for no because of explaining the risk factors. </p>
<p>I have never heard of a hunting birthday party. Lots of people here hunt but it is father/son, father/daughter, that sort of thing. Personally, I hate hunting but am not against others who choose to do it. I get fearful each year when I see hunters walking up the road and think they should choose areas where there are no homes, as there are PLENTY of those in Vermont. One year, a parent of one of my daughter’s friends, who we knew, asked my husband if he could hunt on our property and set up a deer stand. My husband gave him the OK. But when I found out about it because some neighbor was walking in the woods and discovered the deer stand and called and complained, I also was very against it. I think the risk of gunshots this close to home were not anything I wanted. Yes, my D’s little friend caught her deer on our land but once I did learn that they were hunting here, I had to have my husband call and retract his invitation to let them hunt on our land, even though they are friends. NOT SAFE. Not while my kids are around. So, my kids also agreed with me and had no problem that their friends had to be told that. Kids do understand that you have their safety in mind.</p>
<p>thanks, Soozievt. I couldn’t agree more. Apparently over the weekend one of the boys who did attend asked my son why he wasn’t there, and my son said, “Because my parents didn’t want me to get shot”. That works for me. I think he gets it. My son said that two kids wiped out on ATV’s and that some doves and other birds were killed. (no helmets with the ATV’s I’m sure)</p>