<p>^Newhope - I would at least expect him to drive down the proper on-ramp, rather than risk a head-on collision. I believe my fears are somewhat justified.</p>
<p>When my husband is stressed he becomes very aggressive on the road. I have been minimizing it by giving him the cold shoulder at night after riding with him earlier. It is working, but who knows how crazy of a driver he is when I am not around.</p>
<p>"Do what I do when DW drives.
I fall asleep. "</p>
<p>I can’t sleep anymore when my DH drives because I never know when I might need to grab the wheel. Even my kids notice the driving and ask for me to drive. DH is quite sweet most of the time, but when we are reaching the end of a long drive, all bets are off. He watches the scenery and then drifts toward whatever catches his interest. When he needs to change lanes, he starts fo huff and puff and says that no one is letting him in. As calmly as possible, I suggest that he turn on his signal. I am going to be one of those old ladies driving the hubby around.</p>
<p>The other problem is that he had hip replacement a couple of years ago and finds the passenger seat in the car we take on trips very uncomfortable (I find it pretty uncomfortable too, but for a different reason). My next car will have a comfortable passenger seat.</p>
<p>I have to say, this is one of the most frightening threads I have read on CC, judging by the responses of people who aren’t confident in their spouses driving ability.</p>
<p>^So sorry Emeraldcitykity. I see your location is Pacific Northwest. Be on alert for H’s dark grey VW Jetta :)</p>
<p>This might help. The next time you have your vision tested, have your depth perception tested. I have always thought that my husband drove like a maniac (I still think this) but he has never had an accident - and I recently learned that my depth perception is abysmal. My judgment on “we almost hit that guard rail” is inaccurate. He has better depth perception and he knows darn well we were nowhere near that guard rail. :o</p>
<p>I still think he should be more careful!</p>
<p>What is it about bad drivers getting defensive about criticism? And not always criticism, sometimes it’s more like gasping in fear and shock. People should be allowed to have their fear reactions without being scolded (as well as terrified).</p>
<p>My H isn’t too bad, but he does get defensive and he’s a great non-reader of signs. And he ALWAYS believes the GPS over me. Recently we took a hideous 15 minute detour because he didn’t go back to the highway the same way we had just left it to get gas. “But it says to go this way”. Hah! There was a state highway sign pointing that way also but he followed the GPS directions without, AS USUAL, looking at any signs, and since the road was relatively newly changed (less than 5 years ago?) the GPS was outdated and … well, it took 15 minutes to get back on track to visit D at college. </p>
<p>Arrived very frazzled. </p>
<p>As bad as he can be, his father is far, far worse. Wrong way through a traffic circle anyone? And defensive about it too.</p>
<p>“… judging by the responses of people who aren’t confident in their spouses driving ability.”</p>
<p>Um, this is not quite right. To be accurate it should have said “… judging by the responses of WIVES who aren’t confident in their HUSBANDS’ driving ability.” Clearly we’re looking as a gender-linked genetic defect … the question is, which gender???</p>
<p>In my father-in-law’s last years, I would not let my children ride in the car with him. It worked out because he had a five-seater. My husband talks about how bad of a driver his father was and the rest of us roll our eyes.</p>
<p>I have a few suggestions:</p>
<p>If your husband trusts the GPS over signs or maps, make sure you get the latest and greatest maps for the GPS. Your car dealer should have them. If he trusts maps over the GPS, print out the Google maps (I find them the best) before departure. </p>
<p>If your husband is a bad driver, buy him some adult driver’s ed. My husband regularly takes his car to high performance driving school, where he gets to drive 125 mph on a closed track. He comes back a better driver every time. So do I. And it’s great fun. (I learned a LOT from the skid-car class.) Every major city has a race-car driving school.</p>
<p>If your husband is uncomfortable in the passenger seat, or you are, consider that a new seat–just the seat–is far less expensive than a new car or physical therapy. And you can move the seat into the next car, and the one after that. Recaro makes some lovely aftermarket seats. </p>
<p>As you get older, get everyone’s eyes checked. Glasses may be in order. Good sunglasses or aviator sunglasses (which heighten contrast without dimming the view) can really make it easier to see further down the road, making your driving much safer.</p>
<p>I hadn’t opened this thread previously, but am happy I did so that I can complain about my dh. </p>
<p>Skillswise, he is the winner hands down. If you need someone to back up at 80 mph in a straight line, he’s your guy. But common-sense driving? I’d win every time. He cuts corners, rolls through stop signs, goes too fast in neighborhoods, too slow on freeways and has no “road vision.” When I’m driving he’ll urge, “Watch out for that car!” like there is imminent danger, but I saw the car wanting to pull out 40 yards before he did. He has no sense of direction. NONE.</p>
<p>Ahhhhhh … I feel better.</p>
<p>In terms of OP, you need to put the blame on yourself. “I know I’m irrationally freaking out, but it is what it is, and I need to drive.”</p>
<p>BTW, did he do the on-off ramp thing on purpose, or accidentally?</p>
<p>For my fiance it’s just that he doesn’t seem to be aware of what other cars are doing. I was taught to not only be watching the car in front of me, but the car in front of THEM, and so when we are driving I see cars stopping and he doesn’t slow down until the last possible second. And he leaves hardly any room between him and the car in front of him, which then exacerbates the problem because he has very little room to stop and doesn’t see that the car in front of him is about to stop very abruptly.</p>
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<p>You think that’s bad? In college I went out on a date with a guy (H student no less) who missed his exit and decided it would be a great idea to BACK UP on the highway (as I’m yelling something along the lines of “No, no - just go to the next one!!”) We got rear ended, of course. No one was badly hurt, but needless to say there were no further dates!</p>
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<p>I have terrible depth perception which is usually not a problem for me, but I am teaching my son to drive now and, as with my other kids, I have a terrible time being in the passenger seat because I can’t judge well if we are in the lane or not or too close to parked cars. My kids assure me they are fine and often have to tell me when I’m parking that I have a lot more room than I think I do. But being in the car with a novice driver and having poor depth perception is very unnerving. But my husband would be a much worse teacher than me. He is not the person you want sitting next to you when you’re learning how to drive.</p>
<p>Teaching a teenager to drive! Now that is another topic all together. Early in this thread someone talked about the imaginary brake. In a Parade magazine story a few weeks back, the topic was teaching a teenager to drive and the author talked about the IPB–imaginary parent break. I guess we all need the ISB, but not imaginary.</p>
<p>I think my H is a pretty good driver but I think we both improved our driving by teaching S to drive. I had to really pay attention to all of the safety rules so that I would set a good example. I actually think that I am a better parallel parker after spending 2 Sundays at the exam course while S repeatedly practiced his parking.</p>
<p>Ford just came out with a car that could parallel park by itself.</p>
<p>^^aw, no fair! isn’t learning to parallel park some sort of rite of passage? ;)</p>
<p>Solved the problem of H bad driving. He has a problem with his eyesight and can no longer drive. Yay!</p>
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<p>What kind of work does he do, an engineer, a lawyer, or?</p>