<p>It’s probably not that she doesn’t want help, not exactly. She’s sick. She’s not seeing or thinking about it the same way you do. She probably actually sees it as a HUGE problem, but cannot deal with the emotions attached to it, and no one is helping her with those. (Not suggesting that you should; from your description, I think she needs professional intervention, and soon.) But seeing this as you and I naturally would – as a concrete problem which can be approached with concrete solutions – misses the mark entirely. Again, the accumulation of stuff is only a symptom.</p>
<p>Oprah addressed hoarding on her show; that may have been my introduction to the disorder. She would follow up on them later. Most of them did not sufficiently address the issues behind their hoarding. Naturally, when they checked on them later, they were back in the cycle. The one I remember the most, however, actually did change. They went through her house and cleaned it out top to bottom and put all the stuff she had spent buying and not using into a warehouse for a big sale. Her 2000 square foot home had housed what it took to fill up a 10,000 sq. foot warehouse. When she saw it lined up on shelf after shelf of that enormous place, I think the light bulb went off. She had known she had a lot of stuff, but she thought her house was clean in spite of it. When they began to clear stuff out and found mice feces and mold in some of her rooms, she was horrified and astonished. They followed up on her years later, and the home they had redone and redecorated for her looked pretty darned good. But she had been willing to listen (finally) and examine the why’s for her behavior.</p>
<p>Eastcoastcrazy: “Nobody is ever making another Pinewood Derby car!” I hear you sister! (Ah ha ha, best line of the day.) I also have a “donate” spot and found, somewhat to my surprise, that I haven’t missed anything yet that has gone out the door…</p>
<p>“I’ve offered to help her (and other friends have, too), but frankly I have no idea where to even start! However, I think if she spent 30 minutes a day, eventually she’d see some progress.”</p>
<p>If YOU spent 30 minutes a day you’d see progress, certainly. Hoarders collect their piles one item/container at a time, and each is collected with a specific memory or purpose or possibility in mind. In time the item is buried … out of sight, out of mind. But tackling the pile uncovers the item and with it the memory/purpose/possibilities. With the meaning of the item rediscovered, it’s hard to discard the item. And discard is the only real option, since “putting it in its place” in meaningless in a hoarded residence. (If it had “a place” then it wouldn’t be “stored” in a pile!)</p>