<p>DH doesn’t like to be alone. If I am not home, he is on the phone to have dinner with his Mom or a friend. If I go first, I just know he will be one of those guys who remarries so quickly that he will probably **** off my girl friends. It wouldn’t be because he didn’t love me or miss me, quite the contrary. He would want the companionship and love he had with marriage. He would wither away without it, he’s so social.</p>
<p>I, on the other hand, love to go to our lake house even if no one else wants to go. I’ve traveled alone in Europe, taken trips by myself to California, Colorado, and Wyoming. I like other people and am not a hermit. But I am perfectly happy by myself. Walks, sitting on the patio enjoying a nice view, sipping on a glass of wine, reading a book, watching my favorite shows. It’s no problem doing those things by myself. DH just cannot imagine it…</p>
<p>“I don’t necessarily want to be the center of attention at friends’ parties, but have a very difficult time controlling myself. I talk too much, tend to put my foot in my mouth, and more often than not, unintentionally and inadvertently insult the VIP guest of honor in some way. The next day I always feel terribly guilty and am sure no one will ever invite me again…”</p>
<p>Whenever I have had to present a topic in school or at work that I’m excited about, I am just fine! But in general, no. DON’T plan a surprise birthday party, graduation party (my DH did this for me when I graduated from nursing school, to my total horror), etc. I even had trouble getting married because the “bride” is such the center of attention. I DON’T like it!</p>
<p>And alh, you sound EXACTLY like the kind of person I would want to have at my party. You are the energy and the joy that makes a party fun!</p>
<p>Okay, we are planning a party soon at our new house after moving out of our neighborhood. We don’t know anyone here in our new neighborhood. Will you please come and bathe the evening in zest and verve? :)</p>
<p>Oh, and emilybee, you too! Can you make it?</p>
<p>^^^^It’s so interesting to hear about the talents of CC members which sometimes make themselves known. Wow, improv…can’t imagine. I’m so humbled by the talents and intelligence of this community.</p>
<p>I can play the hell out of a difficult flute concerto, though. :o</p>
<p>Cartera, did you see the list of celebrity ENTPs I posted the other day? Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, Stephen Fry, Billy Crystal, John Cleese, and Rowan Atkinson. ENTPs may not rule, but they sure like to make fun of those who do! :)</p>
<p>This describes me just about perfectly. When I talk about something I know and love, or demonstrate a skill that I’m adept at, I have no problems commanding the floor. But surprise parties are an absolute no-no, and parties celebrating me (aww it’s weird to even type that!) I enjoy only if it’s a small affair with my closest friends.</p>
<p>I have been known to forget that it’s my birthday. Those kinds of milestones just don’t matter that much to me.</p>
<p>Okay… so this is the kid who followed me around to talk when she got home from school, and called me EVERY DAY in college and about every other day for her first year working. About a month ago she was promoted at work, and I noticed her phone calls dwindled to about once a week. I asked her about it today, and she explained that in her new position she is talking to people all day every day (previous job was a reseach analyst, which she said is somewhat solitary). She said, “It is EXHAUSTING to talk to people all day. I just need a break from it when I get home now.” Hmm… maybe she will test as an “I” after all in a few years (we can be like ships passing, since I went from “I” to “E” in my 20s, she can go the other way).</p>
<p>I wonder how much of it has to do with exceeding one’s capabilities - I could see someone who’s not a natural I turning I because of a job that was too E, and speaking as a crazily-strong I, if I felt completely isolated in one aspect of my life, I’d seek out human connection in a different area.</p>
<p>Hard to tell with the other three axes, though. I could see a P turning J by necessity, not sure about the other way around. T/F I could also see, I guess. An N/S switch seems inconceivable to me. Well - I guess it could be a learned skill, too. I had to get rid of a lot of N and pick up more S when I started doing theater.</p>
<p>An I can work on people skills and become more comfortable in society, more likely benefiting and benefiting from other people.
An E can work on introspection and become more comfortable alone, having more time to learn.</p>
<p>An N can work on paying attention and become more aware, missing fewer details of the physical world.
An S can work on abstraction and become more insightful, shedding the need for a tangible reference in order to understand something.</p>
<p>A T can work on empathy and become more accessible, more readily trying to be a blessing to people.
An F can work on logic and become more rational, experiencing fewer clouds of judgement.</p>
<p>A P can work on discipline and become more reliable, getting more things done with less trouble.
A J can work on listening and become more perceptive, having a completer picture of reality.</p>
<p>Don’t read too much into it. I just thought “I wonder where we can go with this” and tried to stretch the ideas we’ve been building on already. Less observations and more filling in the gaps.</p>
<p>Everyone wants to benefit from and benefit other people, learn, catch details, understand the intangible, be a blessing, make unclouded judgements, get things done, and see reality completely, no doubt. Not calling anyone incapable of it.</p>
<p>I started looking around at friends and typing them, and was quite surprised by what I found. My best friends are ESFJ, INFJ and I think an ISTJ (but marginal on all counts); other close friends are ENFP and I think INTP. It’s something I hadn’t really thought about - but I go to the ESFJ for emotional support, the Ns for intellectual stimulation and the ISTJ when I need to talk out a life decision. I don’t know how the Js stand my P-ness, but they do, thank goodness.</p>
<p>I know an ENTP with whom I always have stimulating intellectual discussions, but we diverge tremendously on dealing with people and certain value systems and he knows now simply not to go there - for him, it’s an intellectual exercise, for me, it’s a personal assault. Typing “INFP ENTP friendships” into Google reveals a wealth of problems with that combination!</p>
<p>It’s interesting that extroverts tend to be associated with a lack of introspection and Introverts are the opposite? In my family I am the most extroverted and probably the most introspective. My sister is a true introvert and has a remarkable lack of introspection and self reflective qualities. Although my other sister is also an extrovert but lacks any introspective qualities, as well.</p>
:)</p>