<p>Drop in guests drive me nuts. Then they have the guts to wonder out loud why you don’t have any drinks or anything to share with them. Well sorry, if i knew you were coming I would have gone grocery shopping BEFORE you came over.</p>
<p>and frazzled, that sounds like the perfect day!</p>
<p>I can shop with the other J’s, easily, and I’m only slightly I, and can have visitors, and do, quite a bit. I have a lot of E friends and am married to a very E man, ENTJ, and we get along and always have very well.</p>
<p>I always liked that he was more E than me. </p>
<p>I have two E kids, one so much so that she knows everyone and everyone knows HER, and really likes her, regardless of age. It’s always been that way. 'I can’t get away with much around here," and I quote. “Nope, they always call to tell me.”</p>
<p>I would hear from the grocery store and coffee people where she was headed and who she was with even when she was still on her bike. They know her car. “She’s a great kid,” I heard all the time. “But you need to keep an eye on her.” Always said in that way people say things like that when they like a kid.</p>
<p>but, the thing is, she would know their name and their “story” even back when she was 11. That’s just very E. I mean, how many eleven year olds come in and tell you that the librarians husband is in the hospital from a heart attack and the gym teachers dog ran away and the principle’s wife came to visit the school that day? </p>
<p>“Right,” I used to say, “but do you have any homework.” :p</p>
<p>Here are my big five:</p>
<p>Extroversion |||||| 26%
Orderliness |||||||||||| 50%
Emotional Stability |||||||||||| 42%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 64%
Inquisitiveness |||||||||||||||| 66%</p>
<p>The Big Five is currently the most accepted personality model in the scientific community. The Big Five emerged from the work of multiple independent scientists/researchers starting in the 1950s who using different techniques obtained similar results. Those results were that there are five distinct personality traits/dimensions. Here are your results on each dimension:</p>
<p>Extroversion results were low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private.</p>
<p>Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, structured, and self controlled while still remaining flexible, varied, and fun.</p>
<p>Emotional Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.</p>
<p>Accommodation results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development (martyr complex).</p>
<p>Inquisitiveness results were moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.</p>
<p>I did that test. All of my scores were in the mid to high 60’s except accommodation, which was in the 40’s, which has more to do with getting older, I think, and knowing what I want to do with my own time, than where I would have been when I was a young mother and verrrrry accommodating to others, to my own detriment.</p>
<p>These things must change with time, I think.</p>
<p>some of these things do make me wonder though if other people perceive you to be the same way. I think if you asked any of my co-workers if I am an E or an I they would all go with E. </p>
<p>I am one of those people who, when amongst friends, will chat it up. About anything. I’m amazed people don’t tell me to shut up. But if I’m around people I don’t know very well, or strangers, I’m very quiet.</p>
<p>I’ve worked on over a dozen teams at work and in different departments which results in me pretty much knowing EVERYONE. I also make an effort to say hi to everyone, even if I don’t know them. Maybe some day I will and it will make it easier to connect with them. (Hey, you’re that weird lady who always says HI when i pass you! or Yeah, I know her, she’s very nice - always says hello. I don’t know her name or what she does but she seems very approachable.) Over time, you get to know them better and get to chatting and soon you are all friends. </p>
<p>At work, I want to be the best. I want to be recognized. I want to be appreciated. I want to be given an award and be forced to get up in front of a group, which would make me very nervous and frightened, but appreciated. I do not want to sit in the back and do my work quietly without being noticed. I want my work to be great and be recognized. Sometimes your work speaks for itself. Sometimes you have to speak for it. I want everyone to know who I am and not only what I do but what I can do and that I have the potential to do anything. I think this is a little bit different from many of my I friends, because many of them like to just sit there and be quiet and do their thing and they don’t want the attention. Maybe we have different letters after the I. </p>
<p>I feel like at work I just transform into a completely different person. When I get done, I’m exhausted and don’t want to speak to anyone the rest of the day. It’s exhausting. If I have a crazy insane week, then during the weekend I just want to chill and relax with a book.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>“Thinkers… are concerned with the truth”</p>
<p>Pulled the second off the Wikipedia description (the MB website actually does not seem to give a very complete description of each letter, or maybe I just didn’t find it). There is written in comparison to "F"s. So I think there is a difference there.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, I am just saying that I am the same type as you are (INTJ), but I don’t think ED would have been a good way for my D to “purchase” a college. (She is also an INTJ, by the way). Just saying I don’t think you can lay your (or anyone else’s) preference for ED on MB types. It has a lot more to do with factors like financial ability to pay without comparing FA packages.</p>
<p>The INFP says that there are many different kinds of truth, not all of which are objective facts!</p>
<p>Above posters, you’ll be happy to know I found my shoes in store two!</p>
<p>^^ yeah - fendergirl :)</p>
<p>About others’ perceptions of your type - I think some friends would peg me as a possible T, and acquaintances might peg me as a J. I can be very analytical when I want to - it’s not a learned skill for me, in fact, if anything, the F is the learned skill. As for the J, acquaintances don’t see the long, deliberate decision process, they only see the final result when I have all my data collected and have begun acting on my decisions. In fact, because the decision process is so long and I sometimes return to the option I first gravitated to, it can create the impression of “of course that’s what she decided!” That’s a guess, though, because I’m such an I, I don’t ask them about it ;)</p>
<p>I found something interesting on personalitypage about INTPs:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>And something similar on Personality Junkie:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This is pretty much what I said about myself in post #10:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I am reading poetgrl’s description of her daughter’s school interactions at age 11 and not finding it the least out-of-the-norm. School was all about social interaction for me. However, I am fine without the social interaction. If no one shows up at my house, I can happily entertain myself. I don’t need to interact to be comfortable. I frequently travel alone and find it relaxing. Of course, if I meet someone new while traveling, that is fine, too. I am never the first one to start a conversation on an airplane. I don’t want to be intrusive. But I won’t ignore you if you want to chat. I do always make eye contact and say hello when I sit down. I thought that was just good manners (how I was raised), but am now reconsidering the whole idea in light of this thread. If my seatmate doesn’t care to chat, I am pretty relieved to read my book without distraction. It seems to me like I am sort of fulfilling my part of the social contact if I chat with seatmates who seek out that sort of interaction, especially if they are nervous fliers.</p>
<p>Still thinking of poetgrl’s daughter I will say that I just returned from buying the NYTimes at what my children call the faux hippie grocery (where I have spent quite a bit of time the last few years after moving to this area) where the young woman who made my coffee wanted to tell me about her upcoming holiday plans with her boyfriend (they are camping; she’s not sure exactly where because her sense of geography isn’t all that great) and the cashier, a women my age, wanted to update me on her son’s job search… fingers crossed, it’s looking good!</p>
<p>All I did was say, “hi, how is everything?”</p>
<p>adding:</p>
<p>I have literally always imagined myself as an introvert because I am perfectly happy spending time alone, never bored, and don’t feel I seek out social interactions other than with my immediate family. I need some private time every day to recharge. My house is completely silent (until the company arrives) - no tv, radio, music. When I invite people over, it feels to me like I am merely reciprocating their invitations. Just basic manners.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I am a strong P, yet don’t have trouble making quick shopping decisions or in making decisions in general. So I would tend to agree with Pizzagirl that the N and the T must help streamline the process. Using a holistic process like intuition certainly has to be quicker than trying to carefully analyze and compare each individual benefit.</p>
<p>Still, I must confess that I sometimes get annoyed when presented with a seemingly endless selection of similar products with virtually no clear distinctions. Often these are cheap items like flashlights or can openers or cheese cutters: 4 shelves’ worth of alternatives, some costing 5 times as much as the cheapest option. Why? My “N” rule of thumb for this stuff is to choose from the bottom shelf, under the theory that since it’s out of the way, it must provide the least profit margin for the store and thus would be the best value.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This sounds like my P son when he was younger. Always needed 10 minutes to decide what he wanted from a 5-selection kid’s menu and then always ended up choosing the chicken tenders.</p>
<p>Even though I am an extrovert, I am also completely fine with being alone and have to be careful not to isolate. I’m generally comfortable alone, with a couple of people, in a small group or at a large party. I confess I like being the center of attention.</p>
<p>Yes, my daughter, the E, is never at a loss when she is alone. She’s perfectly happy. actually both my E daughters are busy with all sorts of things when they are alone, and both are content and comfortable in their lives with or without company.</p>
<p>We read a lot of books, garden, build things, paint, music, cook, whatnot. We are not at a loss with or without company around here. Of course, we also have three large dogs. ;)</p>
<p>I don’t necessarily want to be the center of attention at friends’ parties, but have a very difficult time controlling myself. I talk too much, tend to put my foot in my mouth, and more often than not, unintentionally and inadvertently insult the VIP guest of honor in some way. The next day I always feel terribly guilty and am sure no one will ever invite me again, if they have any sense at all. This would truly be A-okay with me. No more stressing. However, my friends are all extremely tolerant and generous natured, some of the nicest people in the universe. I try to compensate for years of continued misbehavior by picking out shyest guests, with the least status, and concentrating on them - unless they give me hints they are trying to escape my attentions. I try to stay in one place and let people who actually want to talk to me come to me rather than impose myself. I try to stay out of the center of the room. It is more difficult at table. Heaven help us if anyone asks me a question.:eek: 
I am living in dread, after accidentally overhearing a bit of a conversation sometime last year when entering a room unexpectedly, that there may be a very naughty dinner party guest featured in a scene of a novel coming out this fall. Fortunately I have no problem laughing at myself. And I am too old to ever be all that embarrassed by anything. I am just doing the best I can.</p>
<p>At my house, it really isn’t a problem because I am very focused on entertaining rather than being entertained.</p>
<p>My D1 is an E. She had a study abroad experience where she ended up in a studio apartment well away from campus in a neighborhood with no students. This was in country that is known for the introverted nature of the people, too. She made a few friends with other international students, but was really pretty miserable. Usually she has a new friend in 5 minutes everyplace she goes,but she just couldn’t break in socially anyplace (and she spoke the language and had spent a summer in the country before, too). When she got back she swore she was NEVER living without other people again. She is now happily sharing an apartment with two other girls in DC, has tons of friends, and is loving life. I bet she won’t live alone again until she is in her 80s and is widowed… She is a VERY strong E.</p>
<p>
Good idea.</p>
<p>I’m invariably highly introverted, highly unconscientious, and extremely open-minded. (correlates with IN_P) Neuroticism is in the midrange: on one hand, I experience social anxiety and panic attacks and I tend toward depression; on the other, I’m not a worrier, I don’t react emotionally to much, and my mood doesn’t swing.</p>
<p>Agreeability is all over the place. I think that’s a flaw in either the Big Five itself or the way people test it. It connects individualism with antagonism and collectivism with concern for others. What about the individualist who disregards authority and is unwilling to compromise for “the group”, but gives each individual the love and respect that a decent human being gives because it just feels comes naturally? It also connects internalization of others’ feelings with respect for others. Is it unimaginable to be there for people in need of help or comfort because it feels like the right thing, even if you can’t relate to their feelings?
describes the opposite of me / may or may not describe be / describes me well</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>See, that was your mistake. The E’s in my life will take the word “everything” literally, and tell me about, well, everything.</p>
<p>LasMa: I am perfectly okay with anyone and everyone telling me everything. I enjoy it! My only concern is that I bore others telling them everything. Like in all my posts here today :eek:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>A sister, two sisters-in-law, a cousin and a very good friend all have told me they intend to move in with me when we are widows. I never broached the subject. The good friend was becoming increasingly agitated while she kept track long distance of our house hunt a few years ago. As our search expanded further and further from civilization, she kept calling and telling me she didn’t want to live in the middle of nowhere: “Please Please Please head back to the city and start over”. Finally my husband told me that (1)maybe he and her husband would actually out live us (all of us are in excellent health for our ages) - and ( 2) Just pick where I wanted to live if I was the last one of us standing. She could make up her mind whether to live with me or not if and when the time ever came.</p>
<p>I keep a very neat and organized home. Two of the women above are pretty messy and one is a hoarder. Recently a neighbor offered us, before it went officially on the market, some adjoining acreage with a 1940s farmhouse. My first reaction was that I wanted the land but had no interest in acquiring another house that was going to need upkeep. We are still discussing what to do, but my husband asked whether I wouldn’t rather have the messy women a few acres away when the time comes, rather than in my space. So now we are considering buying a house for the possible eventuality of all these widows.</p>
<p>One of my neighbors has already assured me that all the women in her family live into their 90s with no loss of ability, and never need to give up their drivers licenses so at least that is one worry off my mind. I don’t think she wants to move in with me, since she seems pretty happy with her own place. She’ll probably just continue coming over for coffee five mornings a week. Maybe she’ll bring the groceries since she’ll still be driving and I won’t want to leave my house. ;)</p>
<p>alh, you are a very good friend indeed if you are actually considering a Golden Girls-type arrangement with 5 friends or relations. Do you feel an obligation to do this, or do you want to? I am curious because I can’t imagine wanting to live with anyone, when and if that time comes, unless cats count.</p>