<p>Soccerguy: that’s T-F. Js are people who like plans, structure and clarity, while Ps are people who prefer a more free-form approach and cannot make up their minds about anything.</p>
<p>Early Decision plans are made for us J’s. Seriously. I watched my best friend’s daughter get accepted to a handful of very good schools, THEN decide she wasn’t interested (you should have done that before you applied), and THEN go back and forth revisiting the final two, and still keeping waitlist options open for a real long shot. It got me nervous and unsettled just hearing about it and it wasn’t my kid. I was screaming internally, “Pick one, you have no bad choice, buy the t-shirt and move on! Nothing about these schools has changed in the last month; there is no more data out there!” It was very classic J vs P.</p>
<p>My J was very high. It even shows when I am shopping. I can go into a store, take a very quick look, in five minutes I would decide whether I am staying or not. It drives me crazy when I am shopping with one of my friends. She would look at something forever then walk out to think it over. She did that once with me in Florence over a leather jacket. After a whole morning of looking for one, she finally found THE ONE. They only had one in her size, but she couldn’t pull the trigger. She wanted to think about it. I told her that it wasn’t a 5 year commitment we are talking about here, and the store wasn’t Neiman Marcus where they could order you another one if they ran out of stock. Sure enough, when we went back few hours later, the jacket was gone. </p>
<p>I have a hard time working with people who can’t make any decision. I say a bad decision is better than no decision, at least you find out it is a bad decision. Actually no decision sometimes IS a decision (like the case for my GF). When people can’t make a decision, I would ask them what additional information are they waiting for to help them decide, and what would be the worst case scenario if they were to go one way or another. I have fired a lot of bosses because of their indecision.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’ve had to deal with some older friends who are so indecisive due to personality traits and crises that they’ve not only vacillated, but were saying “Why do I have to decide on one or the other?” or in short…vacillate over whether to check out of the decisionmaking process or not. </p>
<p>And we’re not talking decisions such as deciding on what college, computer brand, or clothing to get…but things such as dealing with serious legal and financial issues(i.e. Trusts, home purchases) where dawdling and indecision can be just as bad/worse than making a “bad” decision. Arghhh!!!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This aspect with many friends…including fellow male buddies with fashionista tendencies is one reason why I abhor clothes shopping in stores and prefer doing it online or alone. At least when I shop alone or with friends with similar J personalities, I find it much easier to go in, choose what I want with some feedback, and buy/not buy and leave the store ASAP. </p>
<p>To be fair to the fashionista buddies, they feel the same way about tagging along with me when I decide to check out some laptops, electronics, or guitars/amps…especially considering they knew I wasn’t planning to buy anything and will stick by that<em>. Most of them don’t enjoy browsing through such stores and moreso…don’t see the point of spending 20 minutes looking/testing</em>* out the merchandise only to leave empty-handed. </p>
<ul>
<li>My default when going to such stores is to not buy anything and use the browsing as enjoyable information gathering for eventual purposes. It’s been exceedingly rare that I actually broke this rule and brought something home. Sales staff hate folks like myself. :)</li>
</ul>
<p>** Guitars and amps. Probably also an embarrassment factor considering my skills…or more accurately…the lack thereof.</p>
<p>Oldfort, that reminds me if my sister and I. She walks in and decides right away. I walk in, take six hours, then leave because I’m not sure, then go to every other store to make sure there’s not something I like better then what I saw in the first store. Then at the end I go back and make my purchases.</p>
<p>That being said, I’m fine with making decisions at work. </p>
<p>Generally speaking I’m horrible at deciding what to eat. I try to make it easier by looking at menus before I go so I already know. There are also places where I have a favorite thing on their menu so I know by default.</p>
<p>fendergirl, you and I shouldn’t go shopping.</p>
<p>Agreed, you’d be pretty mad!!!</p>
<p>Generally speaking I go myself. Sometimes I have to go back again if I couldn’t decide, then I’ll take someone with to help. Kathiep and I went dress shopping once. But I had already been there and had narrowed down my choices. We wound up buying two. :)</p>
<p>In regards to decisions at work though, that needs to be done quick. You are being paid to be there and need to keep things moving. If you clog the system you’re screwing it up for multiple people and wasting plenty of time which is money.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>You may be amused by the following at around 0:33 mark:</p>
<p>[Spaceballs</a> Escape Pod Scene [HD] - YouTube](<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfkNvOOiZ_8]Spaceballs”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfkNvOOiZ_8)</p>
<p>I am an ENFJ. I would be the perfect shopping partner with oldfort! :)</p>
<p>Adding NorthMinnesota.</p>
<p>ESTJ - Fallgirl, Kiddie
ESTP
ISTJ - atomom, mereluvs2run, Kiddie’s daughter
ISTP - mathmom
ENTJ - cobrat, noimagination, Consolation, lilmom
ENFP - EPTR
INTJ - Pizzagirl, soccerguy315, harvestmoon1, Joblue, Martina99, kitty56’s D, intparent, Sop14’sMom, sabaray, audiophile, shyparentalunit, Classof2015
INFP - LasMa, QuantMech, pelicularities
ENFJ - emilybee, oldfort, alh, NorthMinnesota
ENTP - LoremIpsum, Cartera
INFJ - Emily0722 , downtoearth, bookworm, poetgrl, hyperJulie DTE, D2, NJTheatreMom, Viewer, Novimom
INTP - fendergirl, LoremIpsum’s youngest, BunHeadMom, emberjed, Halogen, nottelling
ESFJ - eddieodessa, RobD
ESFP- yalemom15
ISFJ - frazzled1, opnopgod, kitty56, fresnomom
ISFP</p>
<p>I could shop with NorthMinnesota and Oldfort. I know exactly what I am looking for and and at what price point. If I see it, I buy it. If not, I’m out of there. This leaves more time for a lunch break and a coffee stop, which is the main point of the buddy shopping expedition imho. If we are extremely efficient, we have time for pedicures.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I am a strong J, and don’t necessarily agree with this. Sure, when shopping for clothes I am very decisive. But for a complex decision like a college education I am a big “data collector”. And more important I want my kid, who has to live with the decision, to be the same. So while we were very deliberate in our process of selecting schools for D2 to apply to last year, we felt that (1) kids do change in that 5 month window from when apps are due until they have to decide, (2) stuff can happen at a college in the window from Christmas until May that can affect your decision (this happened with one school this year), and (3) overnight/accepted student days can provide a level of info and understanding of the school that is critical to making a selection. This turned out to be true… my D would NEVER have applied ED to the school she ended up choosing. Her top two choices ended up having some serious flaws that did not show up until accepted student visits in spite of one day visits with classes attended, etc. We also learned that you CAN play off colleges’ financial aid packages against each other and get more aid – saved me $10,000 for next year to wait.</p>
<p>So while I do like to have “matters settled” as a J is expected to, it is also very important to me that the decision be right (maybe that is part of being strongly “T”, that truth-seeking component?).</p>
<p>It’s not that T is any more truth seeking than F. It’s that when thinking about a decision, the T’s think first of the impact on the situation and F’s think first of a decision’s effect on people. </p>
<p>If anything, in what you describe, i suspect you’re talking S vs N here. The S is more likely to want to collect more facts and the N may intuit that school X is the right choice.</p>
<p>Welcome to the INFP clan, pelicularities! (I knew you were one of us from your posts.)</p>
<p>Big Five: RCUEI</p>
<p>Extroversion: 20%
Orderliness: 40%
Emotional Stability: 56%
Accommodation: 28%
Inquisitiveness: 76%</p>
<p>I took several different Big Five tests and varied my answers. The Percentages changed slightly, but I remained an RCUEI. </p>
<p>I see that Halogen, who shares the INTP type with me, also tested as an RCUEI.</p>
<p>I wonder if the other M-B types each test with similar results on the Big Five personality profile.</p>
<p>Oh, and I HATE shopping and prefer to shop online. Well, except for shopping at bookstores–grin.</p>
<p>I would post some additional comments, but there are so many options that I can’t decide what to write. :)</p>
<p>intparent: I think Fs (and Js, for that matter) also want to make the right decision, but the difference that while the T’s idea of a right decision is “which solution is the best option, given all these criteria” and the F’s is “which option do I fundamentally feel most comfortable with?” I think the college search is probably where one sees the biggest differences between T/F and P/J. </p>
<p>I am such a P, you all would hate to go shopping with me. And yes, for me, it does extend to some parts of my work - if I have to make decisions quickly, I make them, but if the deadline is far in the distance I go out and get as much information about it as I can (extroverted intuition), then I sit and chew it over until the absolute last moment I can (introverted thinking/feeling). If the decision is obvious or trivial there’s no need to draw it out that long, but if it isn’t, I take a lot of time.</p>
<p>For the college search I had one target school in mind in 2006 (11th grade), and one target school in mind from 2007-2010 (took two years off after high school). I got into both schools and there was never any question which school I’d pick out of all my options. But I only arrived at those two schools after a massive data collection phase, during which time I probably read every college search and admissions guide in my local Borders. Even after I thought I’d decided on School A, to the point where I’d emailed students there asking for info and saying that I was 95% sure I was going there, I managed to do a complete 180 and decide I liked School B better a few months later! No, I have not regretted that decision at all.</p>
<p>ETA: the reason for the switch was a complete F, too. On paper School A fit all the criteria and was cheaper, but School B just suddenly felt more right.</p>
<p>I’m not sure what I think about these letters, but enjoy reading how we shop and where the party is. In my family of origin we have one brother and sister-in-law we say always brings the party with them wherever they go. We say the party tends to always end up at my house.</p>
<p>I was reading this thread yesterday in between visits from drop-in guests: three groups for coffee before 11:00 am, at which point we had to excuse ourselves to go out for an obligation. One couple called late afternoon and came back for cocktails since they hadn’t finished visiting earlier. Since they were already here, we cooked out and they stayed for dinner, and then coffee, and the night ended around 10:00 pm. This is typical. I am now leaving to pick up the NYTimes (I live in a remote, rural area and will have to drive 25 miles to get a copy) and pastries so I’ll have something to serve the after church visitors. There are some regulars. This time of year, in our rural community, some far flung family members return to visit. The regulars bring them along. Some of these far flung members are now holiday regulars at my house.</p>
<p>Lol, does anybody want to come shoe shopping with me? I’ve narrowed it down to… A quest for nice black in office work shoes.</p>
<p>Oh boy!</p>
<p>^^ alh, I am depleted just thinking about so many visitors. If that many people visited me on a drop-in basis, I’m afraid the twitch I thought I’d conquered might come back. 
Not kidding, I can’t do surprise visitors - they have to call first or I very likely won’t answer the door. </p>
<p>Yesterday I had long phone conversations with two of my kids, online conversations here and on another board I visit, and didn’t leave the house. This isn’t quite typical for me, but is actually almost an ideal weekend day. I’m such an I.</p>