Reminder that CC is supposed to be a friendly and welcoming place where people don’t have their motives or intelligence questioned.
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I understand the reaction, but I think at any school both parties would be punished. If adults were in a similar situation and police were called, both would suffer the same consequences. One of my daughter’s was routinely slammed into hallway lockers as a freshman (she was dating a junior who’s mean girl ex was a senior). Although my daughter refused to retaliate (drove me nuts, I totally would’ve), if she did she would’ve been suspended (as these girls were). That’s how the world works.
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Actually, they wouldn’t face the same consequences. My mom is a lawyer, and in school you have teachers readily available for assisstance. In the real world police are minutes away and you need to call and wait for them. If someone engages in violence with you in the real world, you can fight back and immobilize them as a threat and then call the police. Saying both adults would suffer the SAME consequences just shows your misunderstanding of the situation. I guarantee your daughter wouldn’t have been suspended either if she stood up for herself. Especially since shes a girl and they get better treatment in society regarding these matters.
What more is there to say? Go to your hearing on Tuesday and state the facts. Tell what happened, and that’s it.
If your parent is a lawyer perhaps she can give you some advice.
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You seem to be displaying poor impulse control throughout this thread which is what got you into trouble to begin with. Perhaps the suspension will teach you a lesson.
All the best but per your question, yes I think a suspension along with the likely impression your attitude and conduct will have made upon your teachers will likely adversely impact your LORs and college outcomes.
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Stop jumping to conclusions. You have a meeting on Tuesday. It’s very possible they don’t want you there before the meeting. Just go…state the facts…and calmly, I might add. And see what happens.
If you get suspended from this school as a sophomore, you will be able to enroll in your local public school and finish your high school education there.
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Well, since the principal is one of our closest and oldest friends, and we are also close with the head of guidance, I’m going to have to disagree with you regarding what the consequences would’ve been.
Regardless of anything, this was sexual assault and you asked for it to stop. I would make that VERY clear in the meeting. You asked for it to stop, it didn’t, and you defended yourself/snapped. I think focusing on that fact (with your parents also saying that), could go a long way. Will the other student be suspended for the assault?
A similar thing happened to my child in 10th. They didn’t fight the person, but after finally reporting it (after asking for it to stop multiple times) the other student was suspended for 10 days and couldn’t get within 100 ft of them at school.
All this to say, I think if you do officially get suspended, you can explain it pretty clearly on applications.
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In the same situation I think that I would have done exactly the same thing. I do not think that you had much choice in this case.
And your actions were self defense.
Tell the truth. Do not worry about it.
And when the time comes, apply to a range of schools. This is of course common advice on CC for pretty much any student, and particularly for students who are applying to high reaches.
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So, you asked them to stop and they didn’t and you got kicked and went ballistic on the other person that is your friend. After getting kicked did your school really expect you to just walk away and get a teacher? Was /is there a supervisor /teacher in this lounge?
Kids do stupid stuff. If the first action never happened then you would of never got into a fight. I would of found it very hard just to walk away.
So let them know at your meeting after explaining yourself that after you had time to reflect on this you would handle the situation differently and it was a learning lesson. You would of gotten a teacher or made a complaint against your so called friend.
But, I do agree that some of your responses here seem kinda immature. Add that with kids poking at you. I would ask to talk to the school social worker. Maybe there are better ways for you to make friends. Social skills in your age group are lacking. But you will need to practice this for college regardless. I mean this as a helpful aid and not critisim toward yourself.
Good luck and in the reality, you will be fine. On a brighter side, I don’t think those other kids poking you, will be looking to doing that again after seeing your reaction. Maybe use that to your advantage. They should be apologizing to you. Maybe the principal can get you all in a room to hash this out? Sorry you had to go through this.
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You asked if getting suspended WILL affect your college applications. IMO is you do get suspended, it will (if on your record as a disciplinary suspension for fighting). So best to keep it off your record. Work with the school to get a punishment that is fair to all - you, the friend, the original group of kids. A counseling session? Bullying (anti) training? rules about being in the lounge unsupervised?
This isn’t a new rodeo for the school. I’m sure they’ll have options for you.
Doesn’t matter if it’s not on the record, OP still has to report a suspension on their common app. OP will then write a paragraph about what happened. OP’s school counselor can also write about it in their LoR.
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Kids I know had a different experience, I don’t remember the details but they did not have to report to schools. There may have been something lesser than the status of suspension but they did stay home.
My gf was suspended for a couple days in her freshman year for fighting (probably a little worse than what happend here), but she learned a lot from it and has changed her ways 100%. She even wrote about what happend in her main common app essay and how that event sparked her to achieve so many positive things academically and in her extracuricular and personal life. I thought it was a very risky topic, but she decided to continue. She was accepted to Stanford REA and also U Chicago EA and is waiting on several ivys. All this to say, the AO’s do read what you write about the situation and will try to understand what happend, and if you talk about how you grew from what happend, they will likely understand. It’s best to not make excuses, and focus on what you learned and how you grew.
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I think I’m going to use my judgment to close this thread. Nothing more needs to be said here. Good luck and I hope you are not in pain OP.
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