I’m so sorry @sly123. I have been truly impressed how the Orlando community is handling this tragedy. As someone who lives in SC and experienced the hate involved in the Emmanuel shootings just a year ago, I can tell you that when a community comes together healing begins and no one forgets.
The ignoring of the fact that these were LGBTQ+ people is mostly coming from a specific segment of the population: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/06/12/few-republicans-mention-lgbt-community-in-orlando-reactions/
Even those who are mentioning the fact that most of the victims are LGBTQ+ are ignoring the fact that these were overwhelmingly Latino/a (and, specifically, Puerto Rican) descent.
We used to talk about not letting the terrorists win.
@sly123 You will not be forgotten. (((( ))))
Who knows maybe when the sock and horror subsides this will become our Stonewall moment.
A girl can dream…
@romanigypsyeyes yes that article is part of what I’m referring to.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through. If you don’t mind my asking, how is your child doing with all of this?
He’s confused and pretty despondent. It rattles everyone’s idea of safety but especially for a marginalized group.
He already tried to hide who he is while out in public - by not wearing clothes too tight, not wearing bright colors trying not to stand out. He doesn’t have gay on his FB page or Twitter account. No one should have to live this way.
No, they shouldn’t. I’m so sorry.
sly123, I completely understand how you feel. Of course I’ve been concerned about my son’s safety ever since he came out to me as gay (and came out at school to a lot of people) when he was 12, which was 14 years ago. More so than I’ve worried about my own safety as a trans woman. It’s a dangerous world. And he never even told me until later about some of the things he had to deal with in high school, like people calling him a f-g, or sometimes has had to deal with just walking down the street. (Also, I’ve thought of mentioning in the Stanford thread that people who assume that parents of sons don’t have to warn them about the kinds of safety-related issues that people talk about to their daughters are being remarkably heterocentric. Because I said a lot of those things to my son when he was younger. Especially because he was, and is, so little – only 5’ 2", the same height as I am. Although he works out at the gym, which I never did, and he’s way more muscular than I ever was; his arms and legs look like they’re about twice as big as mine ever were! Still, though, he’s much shorter than most guys. And as a result, especially when he was younger, he was continually hit on, online and otherwise, by guys who were in their 30s and 40s or even older, and were much, much larger than him. And, yes, gay men do get assaulted and/or raped. I don’t want to say anything more detailed than that.)
But I’ve never ever really worried about something like this happening in a safe place like a club. Now, I can’t stop myself from thinking about all this and imagining him in this situation – since I’m a terrible worrier to begin with --, and thinking about all those poor kids who were murdered, and their parents. I know that if my son had happened to be in Orlando, he very likely could have been at this club. Just like he was in L.A. on vacation for 10 days until last night, and went to various places, or was in Miami last fall and went to different clubs. It’s always made me happy to think of him being out enjoying himself, and then to hear from him about what a good time he’s having. I talked to him a couple of times yesterday, and I know how deeply sad he is about all this. He’s devastated. I know how lucky he is in general, for a lot of reasons, to have been born in 1990, rather than in, say, 1960. And having been “out” since he was very young, and being what might be called visibly gay, he’s not going back. But still. I wonder if he’ll ever feel like he used to.
I’m sorry you and your son are going through this too, Donna.
My school’s GSA (we’re on summer break, but we keep in touch) is terrified, sad, and angry. Some of the upperclassmen feel that, had they been born only a few years earlier, they could’ve been there. Some of them are now afraid to attend Nashville’s Equality Walk. And the inevitable homophobic reaction by editorials in The Tennessean won’t help. (The Tennessean is a fairly liberal newspaper (surprising, here) but they do publish letters of all opinions.)
As someone who recently came to terms with her sexuality and was planning on attending her first Pride in NY this month, I was absolutely devastated by the news. I stayed in bed and cried for a good couple of hours after finding out. How awful, how miserable, that these 49, young, beautiful, kind, talented, and brave people were brutally executed, likely in seconds, by an awful piece of garbage, just for who they loved.
I think being openly gay, and openly loving someone of the same sex involves a great deal of courage, when all you see is a society that appears tolerant but gags at the sight of two men or women holding hands, or kissing (recently, a vacationing lesbian couple in Hawaii were arrested and reduced to homelessness b/c an off duty police officer was angry that they kissed in a grocery store - the state later settled for 80k), that routinely fetishizes and reduces LGB people to sexual objects, and so on. Even if you are fortunate enough to have a ‘liberal’ community, it’s hard not to feel odd or different when you’re the only one thinking about girls when your friends go on about boys, and vice versa. I don’t think everything that I’ve described is done out of malice, but I think the fact remains that it’s hard to be gay. I live in NYC, and I’m still nervous about telling people.
So for me, I think the most awful thing is that these people, fellow members of my community were brutally and summarily executed by a man who hated them for being brave, for overcoming societal pressure and hatred, and for loving themselves for who they are. And knowing that this man, and the people who praised him, the people who quietly share his beliefs, hate me, for finally realizing that I shouldn’t hate myself, cuts very, very, deep. And the worst thing is, I really have no choice in the matter.
I’m not an expert on Islam, nor on psychology, and don’t feel it proper to comment on any motive beyond homophobia. While I think it is debatable whether religions themselves perpetuate homophobia, I think it is perfectly fair to say that members of conservative communities/followers of certain faiths do perpetuate or enable it, and it is up to all of us, in the communities, and in the broader world to take a stand. I have seen many posts by gay muslim friends calling out their community for happily disavowing the attacker, while not disavowing the homophobic sentiment in their community. I think it’s very brave; we should all consider our regular behaviour when reacting to this brutal massacre. We all deserve better.
http://6abc.com/news/west-catholic-basketball-star-killed-in-orlando-shooting/1383652/
This is so sad, a recent HS graduate, 18 year old girl was killed because she wanted to dance and have a good time. I’m so sad. What a beautiful, happy person gone, lost in the fires of some idiot’s hate. She deserved better than this
Something I heard today that really hit home for me was that these victims were killed in a venue where they thought for a few hours, they were able to seek refuge and just be themselves without worries of incrimination from the outside world. So while they were all in one place, what is particularly tragic is that they were killed in a place that for all intents and purposes they thought they could let down their guards and be themselves for just a few hours, something that many of them can’t do during most of their waking hours. That’s what’s so devastating about this.
Thank you, LasMa.
I know I’m emotional and probably overreacting but when I look at my FB feed there were hundreds of people who changed there profile picture in support of the Paris victims. I probably have less than 5 who have changed their’s this time. I may be over sensitive but I see this as silent homophobia.
My best friend has gone to the same church for many years and tells me her pastor frequently crosses the line, but yet she is silent and allows her kids to think this is Ok.
The silence from my community is deafening.
@sly123, I don’t really do Facebook, but I do have a page. How would I go about changing my profile page in support of these victims? I am all over that, just tell me what to do.
About an hour ago, I happened to skim through my Facebook to see if anyone I knew had done the rainbow thing with their pictures, and couldn’t find one (well, Tracy Chapman did, but she didn’t provide a link on how to make your own profile picture like that!). It’s usually a thing that if one person does it, it provides a link on how to do it with your own profile picture. I sure wish someone could tell me how, too.
@Nrdsb4 - you need to upload a photo. How about a rainbow flag or something? You can search on Google images.
Then, when you click on the photo on your wall, there’s a small strip along the bottom that says make profile picture, tag photo, options, etc. Click on make profile photo and the rest is easy cropping.
@greenwitch - I was looking for an application that lets me layer a rainbow on top of my profile picture, not replace it. Any idea how or where to do that?