<p>I find that this morning I am really sad. And apparently I look really sad because a lot of people are asking me if I’m OK.</p>
<p>I don’t have any direct connections with the school, although one of the teachers that was killed had worked in our local Starbucks while she was awaiting a permanent teaching job. So I knew her slightly – not well.</p>
<p>My husband works in Newtown, about a mile from the school. I wrote the email for him that went to all the employees in his national company explaining what had happened and how it affected the Connecticut regional office. </p>
<p>The town I work in had a panicked lockdown yesterday due to a guy dressed in black with a face mask carrying something that looked like a rifle within 500 yards of an elementary school. And when I say panicked – I mean every cop car from every neighboring town was running hot down the main drag.</p>
<p>Although I don’t have direct connections to the school, I know people who live in Newtown. I was just talking at the coffee shop with a woman whose niece was in the school. Her niece is the one that said that five of her classmates lost siblings. My delivery driver this morning was saying he felt lucky he didn’t have a delivery for Newtown today – that the shop he delivers to did not place an order this week. He was worried about even coming up to our part of Connecticut because so many people are grieving.</p>
<p>So I am feeling very sad, I don’t quite know how to deal with it, and now I have to get through today dealing with customers and not crying. Thanks for listening.</p>
<p>Your feelings are shared by everyone across the nation, and it makes sense that you would feel especially affected given your location. I think it might help to reach out to your nearby friends who are feeling the same way for coffee, lunch or a walk. I watched Dr. Drew talk about the tragedy last night and his advice was that it helps to spend time with people you love.</p>
<p>I think many of us know how you feel because at some time, tragedy has hit the areas where we live.</p>
<p>For me, in the DC suburbs, it was 9/11 and then the Beltway snipers a year later. Like yours, my connections to the tragedies were indirect, but still, they mattered. The sadness and other emotional reactions came and went, but they could be quite intense sometimes.</p>
<p>It helps to have something to do – like dealing with your customers today. They may turn out to be a blessing.</p>
<p>This is still bringing me to tears a several times a day, and I live a thousand miles away. So it is sure understandable that as someone nearby you feel this way. Just like when one of my own siblings died several years ago, I find myself hustling to keep busy because it is easier to do something than to think about it. My house is quite clean at the moment… Maybe not the healthiest reaction, but it is what works for me. I’m sorry this happened in your community. I suspect lots of people around you feel the same way, including your customers. Just do your best to do your job today. I think we are all going to be sad for a long time about this.</p>
<p>Don’t be afraid to talk about how you feel, what went on with whoever is willing to listen - chances are they need to talk to - it’s part of the process. But also try to make sure it’s not all you talk about and think about. You are not expected to feel the typical holiday “spirit” people normally feel this time of year, but try to chat about other things too - the weather, a television show - stuff you might normally talk about in general “chat” so that you don’t feel so down. </p>
<p>Every town around here is totally on edge. I’m not sure why we need to have police cars greeting our kindergarteners, but that’s what we’re doing.</p>
<p>CNP55-many of us feel as you do, and we don’t have any of those very close connections to the school.
This is a tragedy, and this is grieving. Sadness and tears are normal, right?</p>
<p>I am moving towards the anger/ action spectrum, and signing online petitions and encouraging legislatures to TAKE ACTION. It helps and a healthy distraction. </p>
<p>This is beyond heartbreaking, it is a tipping point. In the meantime, it’s painful to try to write Christmas cards or to watch anything celebratory. It doesn’t feel ok yet. </p>
<p>Hugs to you and everyone so close to such bleakness.
We’re all really, really sad.</p>
<p>We’re all terribly saddened. Like SouthJerseyMom said, we’ve got to convert that sadeness into action. Roadside memorials and signs aren’t enough. We need a sober debate in this country about how to prevent these things from every happening again, if we can prevent them.</p>
<p>I am a school employee (not teacher). We have had two lockdowns, one fairly serious at our school. I can tell you that we had a mandatory staff meeting yesterday to discuss safety and procedures. Everyone was asked to provide input and/or questions, concerns. This is happening at schools across the country. It seems clear that Sandy Hook had safety procedures which still didn’t prevent this but at least there is conversation at schools nationwide.</p>
<p>After watching a therapist on CNN yesterday we have adopted the idea to do 20 acts of kindness in memory of the beautiful children who were killed so violently. The therapist said her kids had taken Christmas toys to a foster home, made toiletry boxes for the homeless and donated food to the local food pantry. I think that making simple and kind gestures in their memory will help us heal. For the teachers and staff we are donating to our local elementary school.</p>
<p>Feeling sad is normal - you are close enough to Newtown to be unable to get away from all of the reaction. This is somewhat true of everywhere in the state. While I understand everybody is concerned about this incident, I wish the national news crews would go away, and reduce their coverage. The population in general needs some space - not just the families directly involved. It’s one thing when the local stations cover every little detail all day, but something else entirely when there is nowhere to turn to get away from it all.</p>
<p>It has gotten locals on edge, because some want to react by tightening security at the schools - parents must show ID to enter the building, photocopies being made of ID… while others believe it is a bit reactionary. We will never “get over” what happened, but the sooner the rest of us can return to normalcy, the better it will be for all involved. Rather than dwelling on how this could have been prevented (a hint - it couldn’t), we need to focus on helping the children who survived, and celebrating the sacrifices that saved so many of them. We will eventually heal, but it does take time.</p>
<p>I live no where near Newtown and am extremely sad so I can’t imagine how you feel. This has affected me more than all the other tragedies in our country. Maybe because it involved so many little kids?</p>
<p>But I also think it’s because of the feeling of hopelessness.</p>
<p>We will do that, northminn, as we also feel helpless and sad down in Arkansas even thougb we are physically far removed from the tragedy that unfolded.</p>
<p>I have to say I feel guilty, just a little, for all the moments of joy I’ve expressed over DS’s achievements in last couple days. Heck, I even felt a little guilty that I have my DS at Christmas when so many families will not. I assume any and all feelings are normal following something so horrific.</p>
<p>cnp55 - cyber hugs to you. While the whole country feels shock, angry, and sadness I believe those living closer are likely to feel these feelings deeper and longer due to connections to the victims and reminders from proximity to the site.</p>
<p>I live about 1 mile from the site of a Planned Parenthood shooting … and about 10 years later … everytime I walk by the site I still get a knot in my stomach thinking about the victims … and frankly, I think as long as I live the memory will be front and center for me when I am near the site.</p>
<p>Thinking of you and the people in your community. I can only imagine how rough it must be up there right now. It’s going to take a long time for healing to take place and I know that things will never be the same.</p>
<p>I think everyone feels much the same. There’s alot of post-traumatic stress involved and certain things will trigger those feelings all over again. </p>
<p>I lived through the LA riots 20 years ago and still think about them when I see certain places, streets or the infamous Florence-Normandie intersection. </p>
<p>I saw a psychologist on the news saying that for the sake of young children in the household, turn the TV OFF! I really do think the news crews are not helping by marinating in the grief over and over with the background music and all of it.</p>
<p>Please know that you are not alone…we are all grieving with you. For some, the pain is even physical in nature, a gut-wrenching feeling that won’t let up. And this is from a distance. There are no answers here; I look for pieces of love and kindness, some affirmation that together our spirit can help those most in need. Today a young woman told me she wanted to create a mural and I gave her some money to buy her art supplies. We all wish we could do more. We carry the pain with you.</p>